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Date Posted: 29/07/06 9:20am
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq. (Frothless with worry)
Subject: Re: Worldwide shortage of cappucino froth
In reply to:
Meat Free Chicken Casserole
's message,
"Re: Worldwide shortage of cappucino froth" on
27/07/06 10:17pm
My Good Friend MFCC,
Hamidi is elated at your good news, he has gone to collect the "outcasts" as he calls them, slavering foaming mongrels if I say so myself.
I have taken the liberty of having some Polish laborers erect a cement block wall in the lot, it has a iron door for entry and it is designed to keep out prying eyes. Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. assure me this is exactly what they used in the old country.
As for the council, I have a large file of photographs and negatives which without disclosing the private affairs of those fine people will most assuredly will result in a favorable outcome.
My associate Anthony Kneebreaker, went by the petrol station today and it seems the owner is eager to sell it to us. Funny how a visit from Anthony has that effect on people. It could be his fine automobile, the 1960 Cadillac Coup De'Ville he drives does seem to influence some people.
Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. have this crazy scheme where they are planning on pumping petrol out of all the other stations and delivering it to ours. Zvonimir mentioned something about strafing anyone who entered near their pumps. So it seems all that is left for us to do is raise the price say by 10% per day and watch the profits grow.
I do trust you will likewise share your profit from the froth as we have provided at least 400 froth producing canines and the containment walls.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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Re: Worldwide shortage of cappucino froth -- Meat Free Chicken Casserole (dogged),
30/07/06 4:53pm
Roger,
Profit sharing as per normal arrangements.
Froth production will start ASAP.
Good news re petrol prices - I think we'll introduce a self service fee, a full service fee, and various levies related to the use of garages and pumps. Oh, and following the example of the airlines, a fuel surcharge.
I was thinking of a tag line for the froth marketing people. Possibilities -
1. "dog froth - you'll like it and want seconds"
2. "only dog froth is good enough"
3. "dog froth - like french kissing your mutt"
4. "dog froth - mmmmm, its creamy"
5. "dog froth - with a hint of horse meat"
6. "dog froth - the smell will knock you out"
7. "dog froth - mostly from dogs"
MFCC
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Re: Worldwide shortage of cappucino froth -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.,
30/07/06 9:43pm
My good Sir MFCC,
I am elated at how well this has all worked out, Hamidi will be able to pay me now, profits from the petrol station should be astronomical and the shortage of froth will undoubtedly be able to be controlled to our mutual benefit.
I was on my way to Lyme Regis to watch the annual conger cuddling display when I heard it had been canceled, sad business but there may be a way for Hamidi to process the unused conger or we could run a "special" at the petrol pumps where the customer tried to stand on top of the pump while some burly attendants knock them off with a conger. Should in the unlikely event they manage to stay up on the well greased top, we could give them 5 liters of low grade fuel.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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