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Date Posted: 14/01/06 10:35pm
Author: Dr. Dubious Degree
Subject: Franchise Opportunity: Home Surgery
DIY Home Surgery - the next big thing!
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Our accelerated education course will have you operating with in 24 hours. Look at our features -
1. We employ only the best surgeons from some of the most interesting colleges in the developing world. Some of them took a full three months to get their degree.
2. All or our surgeons have at least 10 years experience, and all of them have at least two weeks of surgical experience.
3. We show you a watertight disclaimer that has protected our surgeons in all courts all over the world.
4. We teach you to act like a professional and supply a list of impressive sounding medical terminology.
5. We show you how to bill ridiculous amounts of money for the smallest things - that pre-op pep talk for example is totally billable and seperate from the pre-op hand shake (also billable).
Our starter kit includes -
* Copy of disclaimer
* List of co-operative lawyers
* Procedures for handling a botched operation
* Comforting words for grieving relatives
* Multiple passports in different languages and names
* Scalpel blade sharpener
As a bonus, order now and get our "How To: Heart Bypass Surgery" booklet, consisting of -
Chapter Description
--------- -----------------------------------------------
1 Identifying patients
2 Selling them on the operation
3 Getting payment up front
4 Getting the disclaimer signed
5 Obscure your contact details
6 Unethical, but useful, tricks of the trade
7 Prepping yourself - Surgical Alcohol - not just for sterilizing
8 A prepared exit plan
Appendix A - Selling - Everyone needs a bypass
Appendix B - Nurses & Hookers - Why Hookers make good nurses
Appendix C - Shop Locally - finding everything you need at your lawyer's office
Appendix D - The Bypass - Over and done in 10 minutes, even for beginners.
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Re: Franchise Opportunity: Home Surgery -- Old Sweaty,
15/01/06 11:39pm
Hey I though I had only one Appendix and it was taken out last March! Are you trying to pull a fast one?
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