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Date Posted: 1/02/06 12:25am
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Subject: Re: Growth Opportunity: Dry Powdered Silicia Sales
In reply to:
Shady Karachter
's message,
"Re: Growth Opportunity: Dry Powdered Silicia Sales" on
31/01/06 11:22pm
Dear S. Karachter,
Of course this is good news, my accountant has already gone off on a three day bender. I'll have my associates Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije round him up as we need his retinal scan for the bank account (funny folk those Swiss)!
Re: Mongolian Reading Sheep, I thought you were trying to sell me Hairy Mongolian Political Commentary Sheep have you successfully cross-bred them? Humm, reading and Commentary, sounds like Newscaster material.
None the less, just have your banker contact mine and for pennies on the ton, we will ship the fowl mess to you. I may have a few hourglass left over and I'll chuck them in to the shipment, make a good snooze alarm. Just throw at rooster and it's 15 minutes or more till it will crow again.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
>Dear Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.,
>
>I'll take your shipment of roosters.
>
>I know of a place in deepest darkest Mongolia where
>time moves a little slower and they haven't quite
>caught up to the rest of the world.
>
>I'll mount your roosters on the backs of Mongolian
>Reading Sheep and march them inland, to the areas of
>the lost tribes. Roosters are rare in that area, and
>alarm clocks haven't been invented yet, so I'll make a
>killing.
>
>
>S. Karachter
>
>
>>Dear Mr. Karachter,
>>
>>Our accountant just reminded me that we also have
>>several warehouses packed full of roosters, as it’s
>>now year of the dog we will be needing this space for
>>our puppy breeding operations. We can offer these fine
>>fowl at rock bottom prices, could even work out a deal
>>where we pack them in the same shipping containers as
>>the floppy drives. Pennies per ton for the whole lot.
>>
>>Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
>>Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
>>Attorneys at Law
>>
>>>Dear Mr. Karachter,
>>>
>>>While your DPS product looks like a fantastic
>>>opportunity, we nearly lost our shirts a few short
>>>years ago when the worldwide demand for hourglasses
>>>dried up. Had to have the entire stock cut in half
>and
>>>new bases melted on to make pilsner glasses. We
>>>currently have several million metric ton’s of DPS of
>>>various grades ready for delivery.
>>>
>>>I think you will find that in time even an aggressive
>>>marketing program you will run out of willing or less
>>>than willing buyers. Even MFCC’s Kind and Caring
>>>Problem Solvers would have to agree that with the
>>>average family’s annual consumption of less than 2
>>>grams of DPS. It would just be a matter of shaking
>out
>>>last years bathing suits or the shoes they wore to
>the
>>>beach. Now if you could get Ramsey or one of those
>>>other TV chefs to promote say "gourmet silica" you
>>>might have something there. Grit your teeth if you
>>>like but that is what it would take.
>>>
>>>We do however also have a warehouse full of vintage
>>>floppy drives you may be interested in. we don’t have
>>>any of those new fangled 1.44Mb ones, oh no these are
>>>the classic 8 inch and 5.25inch models. They have
>>>heavy duty servo drives and recent testing (after
>>>decades of storage near the ocean salt spray) have
>>>shown them capable of producing at least 95 decibels
>>>each. So an array of four or eight could cause nerve
>>>damage in minutes rather than hours or days. They are
>>>available by the ton or shipping container full (~3.5
>>>ton).
>>>
>>>
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