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Date Posted: 5/04/06 6:39pm
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Subject: Alarmed!!!
I am alarmed at not hearing from Meat Free Chicken Casserole since 6/03/06 @ 10:03am when he wrote
"I went to see Zelda the Magnificent the other day.
She said I should seek a man in the Saharan desert,
with one eye and he would tell me where to dig to
find a magnificent buried treasure. So I've sold the
house, bought some khaki shorts and a shovel and I'm off.
See you later, suckers!
MFCC"
Having represented Zelda the Magnificent many times I can say without a doubt her "man with one eye" was most likely a dozen or more nomadic pirates who ply the desert robbing unsuspecting people of their khaki shorts and shovels. Somewhere deep in the Sahara there is a growing stockpile of shovels and khaki shorts. These men have been mislead by Zelda the Magnificent into believing the polar ice cap is melting and the great flood is coming and in their misguided beliefs are preparing to shovel sand against the tide!
Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. are keen to mount a search for MFCC. So I am appealing to you for the loan of several camels to use in their journey. The boys were ready to embark with their Zodiac and it took convincing (a few drops in their vodka) to persuade them camels were more suited for a desert search. Seems they have spent too much time around the docks and waterfront to know much about the ways of the desert. Well Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije are waking up now and there is little time, I don’t think they will fall for the nostrovia ploy again! So if you have some spare camels, pith helmets and non-khaki shorts please contact our office at the earliest.
Sincerely worried,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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Michelin map -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.,
12/04/06 7:58pm
Instead of going to Khartoum as planned Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije made their way to Kirkcaldy yesterday. Unfortunately one Mr. Ian McDermott was tending his flock of sheep at the time ,it seems there was some malfunction with a rocket launcher and the late Mr. Ian McDermott and all sheep were incinerated.
After a few frantic phone calls all was straightened out and the boys were off the tobacconist for a Michelin map of Africa. After a few financial arraignment’s with the local constable and cornier Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije were on their way to Aberdeen to board a tramp steamer for Africa. Baring a mutiny or striking a wayward iceberg they should be arriving in Casablanca Friday next and make their way across Algeria in search of MFCC as soon as they can secure suitable camel rental.
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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