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Date Posted: 24/02/06 10:42am
Author: Hamish McHootmon AKA Dinsdale-Fynch
Subject: Honest Scam-Artist Requires Home!
I`ll be completely honest and upfront with you i`m a scam- artist and proud of it. Never in the entire history of villiany will you have come across one who is as open and honest as me. I don`t send out phoney letters pretending i`m a "nigerian prince" who has been left a vast sum of money in a swiss bank or something. Neither do I make out you`ve WON a prize on the Spanish lottery and you just need to send us a tiny `Admin Fee" to get the ball rolling so to speak. No Sir/Madam i`m a stratosphere above all that and a more ethical criminal you won`t find anywhere this side of Watford!
Taking all of the above into account would you be interested in "Investing" shall we say, in a little "Business
Opportuty" that`s about to let rip in Singapore?
I told you I was honest so here`s what`s on offer. You`ve heard of a Ponzai before have`nt you. Well this is`nt one of those. If you are willing to trust me and send me 250.000
EUROS to a forwarding address in Lincoln I will GUARANTEE YOU your money back with/out interest within 3 short years!
Because of the nature of this "Opportunity" we must be very discrete in our actions. You must promise not to mention our lettle secret to anyone else has this could and would jeopardise our investments. Interested parties should respond to this posting with the words "In for a penny in for a peanut" in the subject line and tell me a bit more about yourself, you know, occupation, bank account number etc etc and I will respond immediately with further instructions.
Yours Sincerely and without prejudice
Hamish Dinsdale Fynch
UK
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Replies:[>
In for a penny in for a peanut -- Dr. Phineas K. Batsinbelfry,
4/03/06 12:32am
Dear Sir,
It's not often I see such a sincere outpouring of unbridled greed, and so forthwith about your intentions. Of course I am penniless so all I can offer is peanuts. I happen to have a sack of roasted peanuts from a cricket match I was going to auction on ebay, I had thought a minimum bid of £5000. Let me know if you wish to take said peanuts for say three years and then give them back.
Dr. Phineas K. Batsinbelfry
>I`ll be completely honest and upfront with you i`m a
>scam- artist and proud of it. Never in the entire
>history of villiany will you have come across one who
>is as open and honest as me. I don`t send out phoney
>letters pretending i`m a "nigerian prince" who has
>been left a vast sum of money in a swiss bank or
>something. Neither do I make out you`ve WON a prize on
>the Spanish lottery and you just need to send us a
>tiny `Admin Fee" to get the ball rolling so to speak.
>No Sir/Madam i`m a stratosphere above all that and a
>more ethical criminal you won`t find anywhere this
>side of Watford!
>
>Taking all of the above into account would you be
>interested in "Investing" shall we say, in a little
>"Business
>Opportuty" that`s about to let rip in Singapore?
>
>I told you I was honest so here`s what`s on offer.
>You`ve heard of a Ponzai before have`nt you. Well this
>is`nt one of those. If you are willing to trust me and
>send me 250.000
>EUROS to a forwarding address in Lincoln I will
>GUARANTEE YOU your money back with/out interest within
>3 short years!
>
>Because of the nature of this "Opportunity" we must be
>very discrete in our actions. You must promise not to
>mention our lettle secret to anyone else has this
>could and would jeopardise our investments. Interested
>parties should respond to this posting with the words
>"In for a penny in for a peanut" in the subject line
>and tell me a bit more about yourself, you know,
>occupation, bank account number etc etc and I will
>respond immediately with further instructions.
>
>Yours Sincerely and without prejudice
>Hamish Dinsdale Fynch
>UK
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Re: In for a penny in for a peanut -- Hamish McHootmon AKA Dinsdale-Fynch,
9/03/06 11:11am
Dear Dr
Thank you for your very welcome message.
I`m sorry for the delay in getting back to you but my wife had to sort the bail and suitable hostel out but every thing is kushty now.
Of course you have my word of honour that once and if I sell the peanuts you kindly offered to donate I will split the profits with you 90 - 10. (Me - You)
If they are KP nuts I estimate it will take about 3 years and two days to sell them. I have a number of helpers (FENCES) shall we say who can help in the disposal of said nuts and will of course put them all on a promise that you will share some of the spoils (10%) with them or as you so wish in the very near future.
I hope you will agree with me that this can all be worked on the usual "gentleman`s agreement" with no need for the obligatory messy paperwork that tends to clutter up ones desk on occasions such as this.
There it is then, it just remains for me to give you the address to send the nuts to. Oh, I take it you will be sending them by armoured securitas vehicle:
Hamish McHootmon AKA Dinsdale-Fynch
PO Box 4564, Leeds, LS11 5TG.
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Re: In for a penny in for a peanut -- Dr. Phineas K. Batsinbelfry, 11/03/06 4:30pm
Dear Hamish McHootmon,
I just need the assurance that neither you or your "fences" as you so cleverly call them will play with my nuts. That being cleared up I will dispatch my nuts by morning next. I have in my employ several brawny courier penguins, all highly skilled in martial arts. I have found in the past they attract much less attention than a large armoured vehicle. If you would please lay in a few Kilo's of herring or krill for their arrival as I am sure they will be famished after their journey.
Dr. Phineas K. Batsinbelfry
>Dear Dr
>Thank you for your very welcome message.
>I`m sorry for the delay in getting back to you but my
>wife had to sort the bail and suitable hostel out but
>every thing is kushty now.
>Of course you have my word of honour that once and if
>I sell the peanuts you kindly offered to donate I will
>split the profits with you 90 - 10. (Me - You)
>If they are KP nuts I estimate it will take about 3
>years and two days to sell them. I have a number of
>helpers (FENCES) shall we say who can help in the
>disposal of said nuts and will of course put them all
>on a promise that you will share some of the spoils
>(10%) with them or as you so wish in the very near
>future.
>I hope you will agree with me that this can all be
>worked on the usual "gentleman`s agreement" with no
>need for the obligatory messy paperwork that tends to
>clutter up ones desk on occasions such as this.
>There it is then, it just remains for me to give you
>the address to send the nuts to. Oh, I take it you
>will be sending them by armoured securitas vehicle:
>Hamish McHootmon AKA Dinsdale-Fynch
>PO Box 4564, Leeds, LS11 5TG.
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Re: In for a penny in for a peanut -- Hamish McHootmon AKA Dinsdale-Fynch, 30/03/06 10:16am
Dear Dr
Yet again I do apologise for the delay in replying to your last message but I hate some dodgy mushrooms and spent the week uncompusmentos for want of a better word.
I can assure you and you have my word of honour (sniggers) that your nuts will not be tampered with by any of my fences.
I`m very pleased to hear that you have some brawny courier penguins, these are a particular favourite of mine of the species I hope and think and pray you will agree.
It just remains for my people to talk to your people and for the third party intermediatories to do their piece and bob`s your what`sname. Please reply soon as his nibs is getting rather impatient.
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Re: In for a penny in for a peanut -- Dr. Phineas K. Batsinbelfry, 12/04/06 7:32pm
Ham,
As we speak the Penguins are marching your way, I trust you have some herring and krill for them upon arrival as they will no doubt be a little peckish after their trip.
The passed fortnight since your last correspondence has given me time to contemplate the parting of me and my nuts. As a child I nearly impaled my nuts whilst traversing a fence fitted with sharp spikes, then there was the time they were nearly crushed when my velocipede collided with a sturdy larch tree. I will always have fond memorys of playing with my nuts and am looking forward to the succesfull completion of our business. Well I am off to the pudding shop for a well deserved bowl.
Dr. Phineas K. Batsinbelfry
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