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Date Posted: 19:53:31 07/14/03 Mon
Author: Kate
Author Host/IP: ipdial-246-83.info.com.ph / 202.163.246.83
Subject: 
Just wondering....
OK. This is a bit personal, so hope you don't find it weird or a bit out of the blue. Been married to hubby seven years now, and though we never fight, why is it that I kinda feel like there should be _more_ happening? D'you or did you guys feel that way at some point in your marriages? Hubby and I have known each other for 20 years!!!! since college. Took us 12 years before deciding to take that leap. Am I asking for too much, or is it normal too feel bored once in a while?
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Re: Just wondering.... -- Ellie, 23:45:57 07/14/03 Mon (NoHost/203.113.206.120)
Kate it is entirely normal! in a way you've 'grown up' together and you may be thinking there are no surprises left! Wihout knowing (or prying into) your back ground are there some different things.(hobbies, interests) you could do together that you haven't tried before? But more I feel that each individual has to look for happiness and fulfillment in a lot of different areas ( loL! i'm not talking about running out and having affairs here) but just that keeping up one's own interest and enthusiasm for life does a lot for vitality- great if your partner joins with you,if not, you go ahead and do your 'thing' anyway!
Will tell you a story about a friend/co-worker of mine.
Penny had known partner Michael 'forever' They had lived together for 11 years(at that stage not married) and by now Penny in mid 30's wanted a baby.. it didnt happen. she and Michael were committed to each other, that wasn't the problem. We 'gals'at work were plying her with suggestions, ie, 'go away for a 'honeymoon'weekend.. all that stuff.
Penny looked embarrassed and said.. 'Well, it's like.. we've been together for a long time and we're more like brother and sister' Oh!!!
Well, Penny and Michael did get married 4 years ago, and something worked they now have 2 gorgeous kids, a 3 year old boy and an 8 month old girl.
I'm not saying having kids is the solution to any problem!
Just that Yes.. lots of others others go thru similar 'patches'.
Ellie.
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Re: Just wondering.... -- Kylie, 07:24:26 07/15/03 Tue (NoHost/139.134.64.153)
Kate, I think we all go through stuff like this in our marriages.
I actually left our marriage when dh and I had been married six years. We are back together now, although I am the first to admit that it's not all roses. We have come a long way.
We do many more things together now and dh has made some drastic changes to some of his behaviours which were the reason for my leaving.
If you're struggling, what you really need to do is sit down with your husband and have a serious talk about it, then work out what you're willing to do together and individually to make things better.
Kylie
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Re: Just wondering.... -- Susan, 17:04:23 07/15/03 Tue (launceston-atm.vic-remote.bigpond.net.au/61.9.128.173)
Kate, I do think it is normal to have the up and down patches. Rob and I talk a lot if these problems arise and get our feelings know to each other. Also, we have our own individual interests and friends, but make sure we do things together often.
Are your family living in Manilla with you, or just you and your husband. Perhaps you are homesick? I know when Rob and I lived in Alice Springs for 4 years soon after we were married, I was so homesick and he worked long hours that I had too much time on my hands to "think". So I ended up getting a full time job (lol) and making new friends.
Kate, everyone here is very supportive and that's what this board is all about. Take care.
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