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Subject: Broken Author: Pen [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 00:46:58 04/23/10 Fri I am broken. I resigned from a job over a year ago because of the way I had been treated with regards to my dyslexia. I made it clear at the interview stage that I was severely dyslexic and that I might need help. After induction (when I realised it was not going to be addressed) I arranged for a meeting with my HR. I let her know I had done some research my self and I had found funding to support my needs. She suggested I continue with organising everything myself. So I did (it was a time where you were grateful just to have a job). I organised the funding, wrote a letter to be signed by my HR and got them to sign and post the letter (didnt want to be too much trouble). I organised with the IT staff who to find the equipment from and what to get. Just so you understand I have a BSc, MSc and NVQ2 to my name so with endurance and hardwork I am able to achieve alot. I am very careful to apply for jobs which are mostly practical or social and without a heavy reading or writing content. This job was no different. While I was only a month in the job my boss started to give me jobs which were out of my comfort zone and not on my job description. Writing reports, developing strategies and other large written work. When I showed her the results she was displeased with my efforts and would pass my tasks onto someone else. Soon she was picking me out for public humiliation in front of my collogues. Once she invited me to a meeting where she had invited her boss without letting me know. there she completely undermined me in front of him. My opinion of her had gone through the floor but I quite respected her boss so the whole experience was disgusting. On Friday late afternoon too. Anyway I soon fell apart, i was having nightmares, headaches, I was being sick and I was crying all the time and even got a little agoraphobic (fear of going outside). I couldnt do my job so I became what she though I was.. a waste of space. So I resigned! I have a very strong belief that I do not want to become the people I dont like so I decided not to follow it up. I told the chief ex what I though was going on but I cried the whole way through to the point I think it would have been difficult to understand what i was saying. But I tried to put it straight. I did not have the energy to do anything else. Now over a year down the line I am still very effected by it. I have no confidence, self-worth or motivation. I used to be able to do anything but now I am so unsure of myself I can hardly do daily tasks. I have spent the last year in the company of my family and have removed myself from my social circle, actually any social circle. Please tell me how to get my confidence back. Something so natural in my life now seems to evade me completely. has this happened to anyone else? Sorry to be doom and gloom but I thought if anyone will be able to give me some light hearted direction. Pen PS this is the second time I have posted this but noone responded I think because i put it in the wrong place. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Broken Author: Ruth [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 20:14:25 07/01/10 Thu I just read your email and feel so bad for you. Your ex-boss is a real jerk who should be ashamed of herself for placing you in such an embarrassing position. You must get back to work. Don't let anyone interfere with your goals in life. Each experience we have in life is a learning experience; it's not failure. Take your experience and try to grow from it. Try not to cry in front of others. Instead, hold your head up and be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Your ex boss was an idiot. Don't let an idiot hinder your life. Good luck

[> Subject: Re: Broken Author: RUTH [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:26:59 07/02/10 Fri Dear Pen, This morning I woke up thinking about your experience. I think you should speak to an attorney who deals with disability cases to find out whether or not you can sue your previous employer on the grounds of mental cruelty or something like that. Your employer knew you had dyslexia and hired you to do a job that required very little writing. Without your knowledge, your boss changed your job description and started to give you writing assignments. If you had known that the job required a lot of writing, you probably would not have applied for the position in the first place. What was she trying to do to you? Did she have fun making fun of you!!! Was she laughing at you!!!! Does she enjoy making fun of a person who has a disability!!! Would she ask a cripple to run a marathon? Would she ask a blind person to read a book? Would she offer a diabetic candy? If she knew her friend could not conceive a baby, would she ask her friend when she plans to have a child? Would she buy a bald man, a comb? Your ex-boss is a very cruel, heartless person. I wish you could send her a letter from an attorney stating that she is personally being sued. Perhaps, she too will have sleepless nights and crying spells. Don't let this horrible person get to you. You worked hard to prove to yourself that you are not stupid. You are a very smart person who has accomplished many things. Dyslexia is a misunderstood condition. It is up to us to show the world we are capable of doing many things. As Ron Davis said "dyslexia is a gift." Good luck, my friend.

[> [> Subject: Re: Broken Author: macpopo [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:45:25 07/02/10 Fri Opps.... I realised that I am not answering your question at all. It's too late because I can't edit my post. Hopefully my experiences could cheer you up a little.

[> Subject: Re: Broken Author: Macpopo [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:39:12 07/02/10 Fri Hi Pen, You have my sympathy too. I understand how you feel. I switched jobs many times because audiovisual dyslexia made it difficult for me to absorb new things and follow simple instructions. My working memory is as horrible as my carelessness. I think one of my previous employers had bipolar disorder. I felt the full blast regularly. My confident took a deep plug during that 1.5 months and I never recovered. So I am not in the position to advise you. Although I envy those who have regular boring 9am-5pm jobs, I learnt never to take advise from them seriously. ItÕs like a penniless man asking a millionaire what he could do to improve his situation. The rich will advise the poor guy to liquidate his company or sell one of his private car collections to get the money. It makes no sense in my context and will only cause further depression. I am 30 years old when I found my calling. I have a BA in Economics (useless. can't work with figures at work), Diploma in Architectural (got me a drafting job for 2+ years) and a Grade 8 certificate in music (luckily). I tried to teach piano because I need money. I have a strong intuition at detecting students with learning disorder and I could take them to wherever we need to be by taking ÔdetoursÕ. I feel very much happier now. My weakness has turned into my strength. I know it's difficult but keep exploring. Many dyslexia ended up as self-employed for some reasons....

[> Subject: Re: Broken Author: serena [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:57:24 08/15/10 Sun Hi there, I too recently resigned from my job (about a month ago). Your story is very familiar to mine, I had too been proactive and sought support for my dyslexia from the outset, i.e in my job aplication and when starting work. I took the initiative to contact HR dept and IT, however after waiting nearly a year for the identified support, I didnt receive any help, and was given various excuses, as to why this was. I also noticed I was given additional work, in comparison to my colleagues. I later resigned and although this has been an extremely stresful experience I feel I have come out stronger the other end, and now feel more confident whilst recognise the importance of being open with my dyslexia. Currently I am seeking an employment tribunal, to challenge my past treatment, and have recently been successful in a obtaining a new job. I have a better understanding of my weaknesses and know now of my rights when dealing with prejudice and bullying. Please do not despair, the key is to maintain hope and believe in yourself, as your past employers will have won, as they want us to leave us as dribbling wrecks. All the best for the future, and try to stay strong.

[> [> Subject: Re: Broken Author: serena [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:55:49 08/17/10 Tue sorry just wanted to add to my previous comment, as may have come across as insensitive to your situation. The main point I was trying to get across is to take one day at a time. I too lost hope, I am educated at degree level, and was incredibly fragile during my ordeal and afterwards. I suppose it was following the advice from a legal representative who explained, if my case goes to an employment tribunal, that this could be challenging as i may hear negative things, and that I would need to try and be strong in addition to the knowledge that I would also have to disclose my dyslexia to my new employer. He offered empathy in regard to my experience. This for me was the turning point. I told myself that I was not going to let them make me a victim. It is still early days but what I have now is knowledge of my emloyment rights, as prior to my last job I had never disclosed my dyslexia. I wish you well in your future endeavours.

[> Subject: Re: Broken Author: Chris [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:59:27 08/16/10 Mon I'm sorry you've been treated this way. My husband is severely dyslexic and has problems seeing right angles, the ironic part is he's a carpenter, unfortunately he treated like a grunt, 15 years as a Union Carpenter and he's treated like a first year apprentice. I don't think there's much you can do to belay doubts others have in your ablities, just keep going and trust that there are lots of employers who can look past the dyslexia and see a hard working employee. Good luck and breathe.

[> Subject: Re: Broken Author: Katie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:28:04 08/18/10 Wed Don't give up! You have incredible worth...not from your employer, but from your creator. He created you just the way you are for his purposes. You can overcome this through the truth of the gospel. Read how much Jesus loves and cares for you in the Bible the book of John in the new testament. My prayers are with you. He loves you more than any other human being and He only can make a difference and give you that unconditional love that we all seek.