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Date Posted: 06:01:53 06/05/01 Tue
Author: P-rock
Subject: Becky

On through the night a quiet cloud settled on my face
And I stared in disbelief as the world sped up around me.
I sat in my stupor and watched them all leave me,
I watched Her leave me and it froze my heart.
I saw the life I had created for myself become a dream
And I wandered through it slowly in a trance, losing touch.
Hydrating my heart with liquor and watching the rest of me flake into dust.
Morning's after became months after and then years after and you never came back for me.
Then one night, as I sat in a spot so similar to the one you left me so long ago,
You came out of the darkness to see where the things you left behind could be,
And I was there, right there waiting like you knew I'd be.
How I rue the thought of being so predictable, so down and out!
How I abhor the fate I resigned myself to.
You came over to me as if the world were alright...and I could not speak.
All the dialogues that I'd rehearsed with you were out of reach and I was mute.
Drugs and alcohol flowing in my blood, replacing the blood, becoming the blood.
I looked through you and I saw me on the other side and I hated you.
It was all I could do not to cut your head off and throw your body on the raging fire!
In my mind I was a murderer, I had killed you so many times.
So many nights I wanted to blow my brains out in front of your parent's house
Only because then you'd know I had killed myself because of you.
That would be justice; to make you crazy, like you made me.
I had no clarity, I had to base in reality, my parent's didn't know me.
I passed through their home like a ghost, not because they didn't care, because I didn't.
I tried to say the meanest things my heart could muster and by the time I spit them out,
I was talking to myself again, I was no match for her and I guess I never was...
Heartbreak is a fate worse than death, I still feel the pain.

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