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• So this is odd... -- Alyson, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 8:23pm PDT

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• He took his tortured gaze to his, focusing there for a long moment before he shook his head - as if it just clicked who she was. "Hey..." He murmured softly, his hand running over his hair, suddenly feeling oh so self conscious of his bloodshot eyes, the lines that creased his face, the way his breath had to reek of alcohol - it just proved the fact that he was indeed a loser. His eyes drifted absently over her, at least she looked ok, that made him feel a touch better, if that could actually be used in the world he was living in. (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 8:34pm PDT

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• This wasn't him, and this wasn't the man she loved, and this wasn't helping anyone deal with everything that was going on. Brows gently furrowed and lips pursed, she leaned forward with her elbows on the table and eyes locked on him. She had no idea what she could say to him - actually, she was pretty sure that there was nothing that she could say to him - but she couldn't bear the idea of giving up. She was so mad at him for not supporting his sister, or Adam, and she was so mad at him for retreating into his own little world and shutting everyone off, but she was too desperate to connect to him again that she couldn't be angry with him. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 8:44pm PDT

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• He frowned, jerking his head to the side to avoid her intense gaze. His eyes drifted down over her outfit, one brow cocking slowly. "What are you doin' out here?" He questioned - his voice a low growl thanks to lack of use and just plain unhappiness. He wanted to know how his sister was, he wanted to know how Adam was holding up, he wanted to know how Dri and his dad were doin' but what right did he have to show up in front of everyone when they all knew that he was the one who should be behind bars - he was the one who should be in hell on earth. (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 8:59pm PDT

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• "Getting some fresh air..." She answered quite honestly, uncaring the irony of it - there wasn't a breath of untainted air in that bar. Her eyes didn't leave him for another long moment, and when they finally did - it was almost as if because she couldn't bear to look at him any longer. He was a shadow of the man that he had once been. She knew that it was making him crazy that Adam was in jail and he wasn't, but this was how things had turned out and they couldn't change it now. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 9:09pm PDT

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• He could change it though, if he had the balls to step up and confess that it was him all along and he had merely corrupted Adam and led him down the path of destruction. "Bad place to get air." He stated, finishing off his drink before he leaned back into the dim corner of the booth - lighting up a cigarette and clearing his throat. "How's...How's Nattie?" He questioned softly, almost as if he was afraid to say her name, especially to Aly. (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 9:14pm PDT

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• That was hardly the point - she couldn't go to the beach or the park or somewhere with good, fresh air, because it was too quiet there, and there was too much opportunity for her mind to wander. A quiet breath slipped from her lips as she shifted slowly to lean back in the both, arms crossing under her chest. "Exhausted and stressed out, but she's hanging in there... You could call her, you know." If he were to actually call his sister, he would know the very instant that she said 'hello' that she didn't blame him for any of this and only wanted her brother back. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 9:22pm PDT

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• He shook his head, clearing his throat, his finger tracing around the rim of the glass that was now empty. "No..no, I can't do that." He stated almost roughly, his brow furrowed as he let out a low breath. He'd actually been considering taking off again, going somewhere new, maybe Chicago, Atlanta or even Miami. The only thing keeping him here was her, even though he hadn't even put forth the effort to talk to her lately, he still couldn't leave her behind and just forget about her - if it was that easy he would have done it long ago. (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 9:24pm PDT

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• She leaned forward slowly again, but her head dipped a little and her gaze was much softer - sadder. A hand reached out over the table and her fingers brushed his wrist quietly - the first time she had touched him in as long as she could remember, and she expected him to move away within moments. "Why not, Jacob? She needs you..." Brows gently furrowed, her fingers brushed up his hand and then back down to rest against his wrist once more. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 9:32pm PDT

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• He shook his head, letting out a low breath as his brow furrowed as he gnawed at his lower lip - in his current state of mind this was just agitating him. "You don't get it." He stated roughly, shaking his head once again. He felt like he was on edge, like he was about to jump out of his own skin. He couldn't believe she was even touching him, thats how low he felt - he didn't deserve her soft finger tips running over his foul skin. (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 9:43pm PDT

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• "No, Jake I don't.. No matter how hard I try, I just can't understand." She admitted in defeat, her words holding a sense of finality - it seemed all she did these days was upset him more. If she could even get him to say anything to her, it always ended up agitating him. Slowly, she withdrew her hand and linked it in her other in her lap as she slouched down a couple inches in to the booth, eyes dropping for a moment. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 9:50pm PDT

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• He sighed softly, biting his lip gently as he looked up at her. "You shouldn't even be around me, Aly, I'm not good for you. I'm not good for anyone." He wasn't good for her, Adam, his family - anyone. He failed at life in general. "I don't want to bring you down like I do everyone else, I care 'bout you to much, I can't do this to you.." He was starting to mumble talking more to himself then to her really but he heartfeltedly meant every word that came out of his mouth. (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 10:06pm PDT

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• "Jake..." She interrupted him with a gentle frown and leaned forward, fingers linked in her lap. "You're only bringing me down by avoiding me Jake, and not talking to me, and totally pushing me out of your life..." Her voice was soft and honest. The hardest part about all this was worrying about and missing him. They had drifted so far apart by now that she was scared that she would never get him back, but she just couldn't give up on him. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 10:19pm PDT

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• He shook his head again, letting out a low breath again, almost a growl. "Look at me, Aly, I'm not the kind of guy you need...." He couldn't take of her like she deserved, he couldn't be the man she deserved. "I just wanna do whats best for you, butterfly..." He was strung out, about to turn himself in, he couldn't rope her into a relationship like that. "I don't even know how long I'll be 'round here..." (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 10:37pm PDT

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• "You don't want to do what's best for me, Jacob." She shook her head in protest - if he did, then he wouldn't be acting like this. Slowly pushing back a stray strand of dark hair from her eyes, she watched him for a long moment and then dropped her gaze once again. And now he was talking about leaving? He was only making things worse for himself - and her, and his sister and father - but there was no way that she could make him see it. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 10:46pm PDT

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• "Don't damn well tell me what I want to do, Alyson." He growled out, lighting up another cigarette and taking a long drag. "I can't let this trial keep going, I gotta turn myself in, thats where I am going, alright? Trying to do the right thing for once in my worthless life." He didn't need attitude from her, or her acting like she knew what was going on in his head. He didn't even know what was going on in his head, there was no way in hell anyone else could have any clue. If they did, well, pity on them, it must be a horrible thing to even know how fucked up he was... (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 10:54pm PDT

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• She didn't have a clue what what going on in his head and she never denied that fact, but she just couldn't believe that he was trying to do what was best for her. Shaking her head a little, she leaned back and crossed her arms under her chest. "Go ahead and turn yourself in - not that it matters what I say anyway - but don't think that it's going to make everything disappear for Adam." If that was what he needed to do, fine, but Adam would just get pegged with conspiracy or something along those lines, which obviously wouldn't be as bad as manslaughter, but it would end up with both of them in jail rather than just one. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 10:59pm PDT

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• He let out a soft breath, his brow furrowing. "So I should just Adam take all the blame for something he didn't do?" They weren't going to get manslaughter, his lawyer was dreaming - if he got charged at all it was going to be homicide and that was a good 25 year sentance if he got off easily. He couldn't live with the guilt if that happened, he'd kill himself with the sheer burden of pain he would feel if not with some more drastic measure. (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 11:20pm PDT

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• "I didn't say that, Jake..." She sighed quietly and tightened her arms around herself, teeth worrying her lower lip before she spoke once more. "I was just saying..." She trailed off though and shrugged a little - she just hardly had the energy to argue with him. She hated this, so much, and all she wanted was for things to be okay between them again - but she was getting the feeling that not only would that never happen, but he didn't even want it to. (NT) -- Aly, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 11:27pm PDT

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• "I love you, you know." He stated as he took another long drag off the cigarette, ashing it to the side as he gazed at her. The words were simple and matter fact, as if she should obviously know this, he was just trying to get his own life sorted out here. "What if I do what I want too, and I keep you next to me, and i cling to you to keep myself sane and then I am sent off to jail for the next thirty years, what happens then, Aly?" (NT) -- Jake, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 11:39pm PDT

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• She shook her head in disbelief - this was so like him. Tell her something so monumental - because it was amazing that he would ever say anything like that - but then proceed to inform her that it doesn't work anyway. "God Jake, I don't know. But not knowing doesn't seem like a good enough reason to write me out of your life altogether." She rested her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands as she gazed at him. "I don't want this to be the end of things..." (NT) -- Alt, Mon, Apr 04 2005, 11:55pm PDT

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• He let out a rough breath, shaking his head a touch as he gazed at her. "I don't want you out of my life, Alyson, but I don't want to be the cause of your life being shitty either." He reached over, his fingers running down the soft skin of the inside of her arm just to touch her, relishing in the feeling for a moment before he drew back. "Did you want a drink?" He wasn't sure what to say here, or what to do, he was torn in so many directions. He knew the right thing to do would be just to stay out of her life but he couldn't seem to do that - she was on his mind constantly. (NT) -- Jake, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 10:38pm PDT

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• "No thanks.." She declined softly - her drink had been so perfect at first when she got there, but now a sour taste lingered in her mouth and she wasn't feeling much like anything. Everything was so messed up. Sighing quietly, she dipped her head forward ever-so-slightly and her brows slid into a gentle furrow. "Well my life's pretty shitty right now." The last thing she wanted or needed was pity, but she felt the need to inform him that things weren't going great for her just because he was avoiding her. He wasn't making things better. (NT) -- Aly, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 11:07pm PDT

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• Immediatly he straightened up, his brow furrowing and his eyes narrowing as he gazed at her. "Whats going on?" He would kill anyone who was bothering her, he honestly wished he could fix all her problems but he couldn't have keep himself from going crazy, how in the hell was he supposed to help her? His cigarette was extingushed before even half of it was smoked, though almost as soon as he put it out he reached to light another before he realized what he was doing and set the lighter back down. It was just nervousness that made him need to have something in his hands. (NT) -- Jake, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 11:18pm PDT

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• "Come on Jake..." She frowned a little and shook her head slowly, one hand dropping to play over his forearm absently. It seemed a given to her that everything just sucked in general right now. "I miss you... I'm tired of not being around you. Nattie's on self-destruct mode and there's nothing I can do for her but drive her to and from the airport and work whenever she needs it. Half the time, the house is empty, and the other half it's full of people crying." When something happened to a member of their tight extended family, everyone felt every bit of it. (NT) -- Aly, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 11:22pm PDT

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• He frowned softly, shaking his head. "Your the only one there that would want to be around me." he stated with a low growl to his voice. Everyone else saw him for what he was - he was sure of it - a no good dirty liar. He shifted a bit, his eyes going to her hand on her arm before he took his gaze to hers. "I am tired of not being around you too, baby girl, but I don't wanna drag you down or mess you up in this shit." He didn't want her to have some emotional issues later on because of him, he couldn't handle ruining her life too. (NT) -- Jake, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 11:38pm PDT

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• "That's not true, Jake." But she continued on without much of a break - because she knew he didn't believe it and there was no point in debating a fact that they both thought they were right about. "It's too late, love. No matter what you do, I'm already involved in this." Of course it would be different if she was directly involved with him and he got sent off to jail for forever - but either way, she was going to feel whatever happened to him and Adam. (NT) -- Aly, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 11:42pm PDT

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• He sighed deeply, running a hand down his face as he tried to figure out what he should do. "I all sorts of fucked up right now, you know that, right?" He questioned absently, his eyes going back to her with a curious look. He was on to many drugs to count and he was passed being drunk to just being flatly intoxicated. He wanted to be with her so badly but this damn conscience he had developed was holding him back... (NT) -- Jake, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 11:46pm PDT

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• "I know..." She breathed the words softly, fingers still on his arm - no matter what, she had trouble seeing him any differently than the guy that he had been just months ago. The connection that she had felt to him was undeniable, and she just wanted as much as she could have - she adored him too much to let him just write himself out of her life. Though, she knew that her dad wouldn't be keen on the idea - he didn't despise Jake in the least, that she knew of, but he was so protective of her, and everyone knew that Jake wasn't right right now... (NT) -- Aly, Tue, Apr 05 2005, 11:49pm PDT

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• He nodded slowly, letting out a soft breath before he just shrugged and pursed his lips. "When my head clears up then I will be thinking more clearly and all of this will make more sense..." Or at least he hoped so, maybe he would sober up and get some great ephiphany, suddenly knowing what to do and how to fix everything. "I can fix this, I know I can, I always fix everything that I fuck up...." He was getting nervous about this though, he just couldn't figure out what he needed to do to make everything right again. (NT) -- Jake, Wed, Apr 06 2005, 12:05am PDT

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• "Hey..." Her fingers linked gently into his and she drew his hand up to her lips - brushing a kiss there before letting his go and slowly crossing her arms under her chest. "When your head clears, why don't you come over and talk to me? You don't have to figure everything out on your own..." It was just a tentative suggestion because she wanted him to know that she was behind him. If there was anything that she could do to help, she wanted to do it. (NT) -- Aly, Wed, Apr 06 2005, 12:09am PDT

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• He shook his head immediatly, his brow furrowed. "No...you come with me to the hotel." He stated rather then asked, he couldn't face the Davenports yet, he just wanted to hide away for a while longer. Though now it seemed he would be letting her hide with him which was sounding more appealing as he began to feel more and more badly about everything he had been putting her through lately. (NT) -- Jake, Wed, Apr 06 2005, 12:16am PDT

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• "Sure, sure. Whatever you want..." She assured him quickly, slowly slouching down into the booth a little more, head resting back. She wasn't really keen on him hiding out, but she could sort of imagine where he was coming from, and she felt a little better about it all if he wasn't hiding out from her anymore. That was all she wanted - the chance to do whatever she could to help him sort some of this stuff out. She couldn't stand the thought of him being alone and so messed up. (NT) -- Aly, Wed, Apr 06 2005, 12:21am PDT