<i>I should have been dead on a sunday morning...</i> -- RD Future: County Hospital

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Date Posted: Wed, Dec 22 2004, 12:11am PST
Author: Emily
Subject: I should have been dead on a sunday morning...
In reply to: Emily 's message, "How do I live with you?
I want to know
How can I ever, ever, survive..." on Sat, Dec 18 2004, 11:25am PST

She frowned lightly, trying to figure out if he didn't want her touch or if he was in pain. Her hand slipped to find his again, though she scooted closer to him instead this time so that he didn't have to move. Her brow was furrowed as she gazed at him, as if taking in his vibes he was throwing off before she spoke, her words clear and obviously very much meant. "I want you to listen to me, Ethan." She started, her eyes showing her seriousness. "I don't have to do anything, but I want to be here with you. I am not going to lie to you say that what happened didn't hurt me a lot, or anything like that, but..I have done a lot of thinking. Half the things I said, I didn't mean that night, some of them I did, but a lot of them..I was just angry, and hurt and I said a lot of things without thinking." She let out a soft breath, trying to phrase what she wanted to say. "Even though we aren't together anymore, I don't want you to not be in my life Ethan, I don't think I would know what to do with myself without you as my friend. You've been my best friend for awhile now, and even though relationships, that be so easily broken...friends, they don't fall apart like that." Her sweet country voice coated the words as she held his hand, her brow furrowed gently but her eyes showing the complete sincerity behind her words. She really didn't think she could handle losing him as a boyfriend, and as a best friend at the same time, she just couldn't handle it. She may just end up in here with him.

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He couldn't deal with any of this - he didn't want to be reminded about what had happened and just didn't want to think about any of it. More than anything, he wanted to be with her, but he couldn't trust himself and so didn't want to risk screwing anything up again. Sighing, he just nodded ever-so-slightly and turned his gaze slowly away from her, just to focus on the floor. He was safe in here - atleast he didn't have to have anything to do with the real world. Of course a part of him knew that he was just making things harder on everyone, but he honestly didn't see himself having any other options. (NT) -- Ethan, Wed, Dec 22 2004, 12:31am PST

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