Re: The Male Rules - A Guide for women to understand men -- Adilbrand Noblesword's Hall of Warriors

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Date Posted: 03:54:01 08/05/02 Mon
Author: Libbylodge
Subject: Re: The Male Rules - A Guide for women to understand men
In reply to: mt. healthy mountaineer 's message, "The Male Rules - A Guide for women to understand men" on 01:15:07 07/25/02 Thu

Good advice...so much so it deserves another! LOL.

Women's Business For Men Who Want To learn!!!!

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand
the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this point
guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: .....

MAKE WOMEN HAPPY !!!
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she
dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES:
You make the bed.................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
pillows.... 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets......-1

You leave the toilet seat up.....................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is
empty............ +2
You throw the empty roll on the floor or leave it on top of the toilet.....................................-5
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex... -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom....... -2
You clean the skid marks off the toilet bowl....+10
You tell her you have done this -2
You blame the previous user for the skid marks.......-5

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the snow....................................+8
but return with beer................-5
and no liners.................................-25
two hours later.............................-50

You check out a suspicious noise at night...........0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ +1
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You ask her to back you up ........................-10

AT THE PARTY:
You stay by her side the entire party............ 0
You stay by her side initially, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy ... -2
Named Tiffany.................................... -4
Tiffany is a dancer.............................. -10
With breast implants....................... -18
Who gives you her card.................... -100
And hugs...................................-200

HER BIRTHDAY:
You remember her birthday............................0
On her birthday....................................+3
You buy a card and flowers...........................0
You take her out to dinner......................... 0
You go to the best upmarket restaurant in town where you have booked and let the manager
know it is special........+200
You give her a gift of jewellery or her favourite perfume..........................+20
You mention in passing all the beautiful women in the restaurant, and all the fat and
unattractive..........-20
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.......................... -2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..................... -3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night,and your
face is painted the colors of your favourite team........ -10
All your sports buddies just happen to be there and you talk to them........ -20

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS:
You tell her of this as you leave....-5
You claim it is her faulty memory......-100
You go with a pal.......................................0
The pal is happily married.....................+5
The pal is single................................. -7
He drives a Ferrari............................. -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...... -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER:
You ask her friends to suggest an outing she would like...+20
You take her to Hooters................-300
You take her to a movie...............+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie described as a Chick Flick ......+6
You take her to a movie you like...... -2
It's called Only The Lost and Hungry................. -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.... -9
With hot young bimbos running around partially clothed.... -50
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans..... -150

YOUR PHYSIQUE:
You develop a noticeable pot belly................ -3
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly & resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts................-10
And burping............................-20
And pinching her bum in public.... -75
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too"....-800

THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You look ,whistle and say you look terrific ......+100
You hesitate in responding...................... -10
You reply, "Where?"............................. -35
You reply, "What do you mean by fat?".... -75
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"..... -100
You reply, "I don't care if you're fat"....-400
Any other response.............................. -20

SEX
You establish a clear idea of what she likes.......+10
You establish a clear idea of what she dislikes....+10
In the throws of passion you forget everything......-20
Intimacy is etablished well before the sex act....+20
For you, intimacy is sex.............................-50
You have no idea of what intimacy means....-50
You gently touch, stroke, and nibble....+10
You make grunting noises as you "grope"...-10
You play flirtatious sex games ..........+10
You kneel above her and dangle your dick in her face....-20
You make love when both of you are ready or well rested....+50
You wake her at 5am by spooning and groping one breast and punching a kidney with your
erect penis ...you say ..." Every one you knock back is one you don't get"...-50

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Replies:

Nice to see you here, Libb -- mvd, 11:32:28 08/05/02 Mon
- Re: Nice to see you here, Libb -- Libbylodge, 02:41:52 08/06/02 Tue
  - Oh! -- mvd, 10:37:29 08/06/02 Tue