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Date Posted: 15:13:10 01/08/02 Tue
Author: Day
Author Host/IP: adsl-66-72-100-154.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net / 66.72.100.154
Subject: Fic: Telling the Truth is just an Excuse for a lack of an Imagination (3/4)
In reply to: Day 's message, "Fic: Telling the Truth is just an Excuse for a lack of an Imagination (2/4)" on 15:11:39 01/08/02 Tue

Title: Telling the truth is just an excuse for a lack of an imagination.
Part 3 of 4
By: Ozmandayus

Summary: This is the final chapter in the "Creeping." trilogy. Please read "A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah!!!" and "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink." first.

Category: B/X, Romance, Revenge, Wicked Humor
Rated: A hard R for very course language and sexual innuendo's
Spoilers: Up until the episode, "Into the Woods," then the "Creeping" universe.

Disclaimer: Joss got a Benz. Joss got a Rolex. Joss got a mansion. Who do you think owns the show????? I live in an outhouse. I pop in a shack and I eat what I kill :)

Feedback: Much like Brittany Spears covered in honey, I want it real bad.
mrsinister@mailhost.chi.ameritech.net

This trilogy is dedicated to, in my humble opinion, the finest B/X authors today: Joanne W, Melissa, Evil Willow, Michelle, Nick Hucik, Serenity G, Me Jeffrey Patrick, Brooke, Xand, Laura, Jason Thompson, Rick, Jai L, Lucky 13, Amy, Katie, Mean Cris Gump Brittany, Stephanie, Greydon Creed, Nicollete Marquis Mcfadgen, Mistress Angel, Ashley, Queen Angel J. Hallmark, Lori Bush, Vamppyr64, Stephen Howe...Whether they continue to write B/X or just tried it out once they are, IMHO the best writers of BX today. You can just about rest assured if you see their name as the author the story will be high quality.

Authors Notes: I sincerely hoped that you laughed a few times during this trilogy. I wanted to write something funny and without a lot of angst. From the feedback I have recieved so far it seems that I have done pretty well. Thank you again to everyone who wrote to me about this story.

Authors Notes: 2 This fic will feature two guest stars and a flashback to the New Years Eve scene where B and X got together.



******

******


The Summers House
Buffy's bedroom
Thursday, January 11, 2001 10:20 PM
Sunnydale, Ca


"Then we went into my bedroom and..."

"Xander! She doesn't need graphic details," Buffy said after she punched him in the arm.

Willow watched them with a joyful soul. They were in love with each other. They looked happy. Aside from Buffy being a hairless, penis-endowed woman, and Xander being a normal women.

"I'm still angry you guys didn't tell me. But I forgive you," Willow said. She was truly happy for them.

"Thanks, Wills," Buffy said.

Xander leaned forward. "You sure you don't want the sex info. Because I've got to tell you I was in rare...ah...shutting up now." Buffy death glare signaled the end of that conversation.

******

******

Spike's Car
Enroute to Buffy's house
Thursday, January 11, 2001
Sunnydale, Ca


"Who's that dippin in the Caddilac. (S-N-0-0-P D-O-G-G) Who’s watching that paper
stack. (S-N-O-O-P D-O-G-G)," Spike sang, mimicking Snoop Doggy Doggs new single. This was turning out to be a pretty good evening for the vampire.

Anya looked out the passenger side window. she wondered as they drove through some of the 'flashier' parts of Sunnydale. All night liquor stores and adult movie outlet adorned the streets. "Spike."

"Yeah, luv?"

One particular section of the street caught her attention. “Why are all those women standing on that corner? And why do cars keep comming up to them? Some of the girls get in and some don't."

Spike grinned to himself. "That is Rush street, my dear. Those cars are filled with men whose dates end with the exchange of money. Ain't nothing like paid love for the lonely man."

Anya tried to figure that out. "So those girls go on dates and get paid to do it?"

"More or less."

"How much do they make?"

"Well, they usually.....WHAT THE FUCK!!!," Spike screamed as he killed his engine in an alley and turned off the lights. He stared straight ahead, looking at something in the alley across the street.

"What is it Spike?" Anya tried to make out what could have caught his attention. But without his super keen eye sight it didn't do much good.

Spike meanwhile started laughing thunderously. He slowly pulled out of the alley enough so that the street lights could illuminate what was happening across the street for Anya to see.

Anya squinted her eyes until she could make out a black car with some guy in the drivers side. His head was leaning back on the seat and his eyes were closed. "Did that guy fall asleep behind the wheel?"

"That ain't no guy, darlin. That's my ole vampire buddy, Angel. And he ain't alone," Spike grinned wickedly.

"Angel? Why isn't he in L.A.? And what's he doin in a dark alley? And you need your eyesight checked. I don't see anyone in the car with him."

"Are you sure," he pointed out. "Can't you see a flicker of something under his steering wheel every now and then."

Anya looked closer. "He's getting a blow job in a alley? Why would a total piece of girl candy like him do that."

"Beats the bloody hell out of me. Maybe he's finally gone off the deep end."

"Who's he with?"

"He's with a hooker, Anya. From the looks of things a blonde one. Let's go pay my old running mate a visit." Spike revved up the engine and turned his head lights as bright as they would go. He then sped across the street, blowing his horn repeatedly.

******

"How much do I owe you," Angel asked the petite blonde as she wiped her face with a piece of tissue.

"Fifty bucks."

Angel reached into his pocket and pulled out a fifty dollar bill. He was about to hand it to her when a car horn, blaring constantly caught his attention.

"I'm outta here," the girl said as she grabbed the money from Angel's hands and ran out of the car.

Angel quickly re-adjusted his pants, but not before someone tapped his window.

"Angelous, you old devil. Fancy meeting you here."

"Spike? What are you..I ah....can..ah..."

"Oh, don’t try to explain. I understand. Bloke gets lonely sometimes fighting evil and all." Spike then leaned into the open window. "But tell me. What's wrong with L.A. hookers? I mean you are literally surrounded by them. Why drive all the way to Sunnydale for some poon tang?"

Angel wanted to die, again. To have his most detestable new habit exposed by Spike would be worst than his worst nightmare. Ever since Darla and Dru returned and began to wreck havoc he has living darker than ever. First, he fired Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn. Then he started killing demons and vamps with no mercy and taking his hidden desires to women of the night. "Spike, this is none of your business."

"Oh, but I wonder what the Slayer would think if she knew her ex was getting his knob polished by some street walker. You know what. You are more pathetic than any one I have ever used the word for. One a scale of one to ten in patheticness with ten being the writers of Dark Angel and one being....well I used to say Xander, but now I'll say a Hulk Hogan movie, you rank higher that. Paying for head. Pathetic." Spike took a step back when Angle exited the car.

"You are not going to breath a word of this to anyone."

"Of course I'm not. I don't have any breath to breathe with. Angel, my boy. Do you really believe you're going to find Ms Right on Rush street? Or are you just looking for
Ms Right-Now? "

"What I do on my private time is my business, not yours."

Spike lit up a cigarette, smiling the whole while. "Angel, to be honest, I don't care if you were banging every animal at the Brookfield Zoo. All I know is that when everyone finds out you pay Sunnydale hookers for blow jobs they will lose all respect for you. And Buffy. She won't even want to look at you again. The look on her face will be priceless."

"If you do tell her I will make you suffer," Angel said in a cold tone.

"Again."

"I will beat the shit out of you."

"Again."

"Then the Slayer will kick your ass."

"Again."

You are so dead."

"Aga....well, I have only died once. Damn."

Angel roared with anger and lunged at Spike, lifting him off of the ground by his trench coat collar. "Keep your fucking mouth shut."

"Speaking of fucking, guess who's enjoying that sweet succulent Slayer pie these days."

Angel's face turned colder than usual. Thoughts of Buffy making love to someone other than himself sickened him. "I already know about Riley. He's just a stop in the road."

"Finally, something we agree on."

"If you don't start talking I'm going to start hitting."

"Again."

Angel drops a laughing Spike to the ground. "I've had enough of your games. I've got enough to deal with in my own backyard."

"It's Xander," Spike managed to get out between giggles.

"What?" Angel replied.

"Xander. He's the recipient of Slayer pie slices these days."

Angel could simply not believe it. "Impossible. They are just friends. He never stood a chance with her."

Spike got off the ground and dusted himself off. "My how things have changed. The loser gets the job, the apartment, and the girl. While dark, tortured, brooding hero soulmate is forced to pay for head in alleys. Poetic justice or tragic irony."

"Are you sure it's Xander?"

"I watched them do the nasty twice through a motel window."

"You're sick."

"Really? I've got a girl in the car right now and I didn't pay for any pie. Spike got it like that, ya see. Now, as for you, Mr. Pay-For-Suck, you're sick. You didn't have the courage to stick it out with the Slayer. Now you're reduced to hookers blowing you in dark alleys. Pathetic."

"Dru is back in L.A. She's with Darla."

"Really, well tell her Will the thrill says what's up."

Angel found himself surprised at his reply. "Don't you care? Dru is in L.A."

"I heard you the first time, JOHN." "I'll check on Dru in a few days. As for Darla. That's your problem."

Angel angrily got back in his car and started the engine. "Are you going to tell Buffy?"

"Nope. She wouldn't believe me anyway. None of them would believe you're this pathetic. But I know you are. And that's enough. I'll be seeing you then. Got things to do. People to do. And I sure ain't paying for it."

Spike walked back to his car, got in and drove off.

Smiling all the way.

******

******

The Summers House
Thursday, January 11, 2000 10:38 PM
Sunnydale, Ca


All of the lights were on and Buffy's moms car was not in the driveway. Riley got out of his car and approached the front door. He knocked twice to no answer.

He tests the door knob and finds it unlocked. Riley thought as he moved past the living room and to the stairs.

He could hear voices but he couldn't make out what they were saying. Riley walked up stairs and down the hall to Buffy's bedroom.

"Oh my God," he said as four pair of startled eyes locked on him. "Buffy, what happened to you? And who is she?"

Buffy looked at Xander, then back to Riley. "We have a situation."

"I'll say. What happened to your hair? Are you alright. Are you hurt?" Riley asked, one question after another.

Buffy took a deep breath and turned back to Xander. "I think you should at least try to locate Anya. But do not talk to her. Just find out where she is. Take Dawn with you. I need to talk to Riley alone."

Xander nodded, understanding how tough this was going to be on her. He didn't want to make it tougher. "Willow, Dawn. Lets go."

As Xander stood, someone leaped in front of him."Who are you?"

"I'm Xander. It's a long story and I'm sure Buffy will fill you in." Xander moved past him, with Willow and Dawn right behind him.

Buffy centered herself for the event to come. She knows she's going to have to come clean about everything.

"Buffy. What is going on here?" Riley asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Sit down and I will explain everything." He did and she sat next to him.

"We believe that Anya has cast some type of a spell on me and Xander."

Riley was still confused. "Okay, explain to me why Anya would do that. She loves Xander and she has helped you for the past year. I know she's a pill at times, but she doesn't have anything against you."

Buffy stood to her feet and began to pace the room. "We believe that she discovered....us together. She may have gotten her vengeance powers back and decided to take revenge on us."

"Buffy, I'm sorry but I'm not following you. This doesn't make any sense. If Anya is responsible what would be her motive?" Riley added. He could see the angst on Buffy's face but he couldn't understand it.

Buffy mustered up every ounce of maturity at her disposal. "Me and Xander are in love with each other, Riley. We,...we believe Anya found out and did this to us as her revenge."

Hold the fucking horses.

Riley stared at her. The words she just spoke destroyed the hope he held most dear. "You're in love with Xander?" He barely got the words out.

Buffy shut her eyes to fight off the blaze of emotion behind them. She knew she was breaking his heart. "Yes."

"And you came to this realization when?" he asked as business like as he could.

"We got together on New Years Eve. Nothing happened between us before then. Not when you and I were together. We never kissed before New Years Eve," she answered, now leaning against her dresser.

Riley hadn't moved an inch from her bed. "What was so special about New Years Eve that made you forget the entire year we spent together?"

She knew this was hard and unfair to him. But he deserved the truth. "I did not forget nor do I regret the year we spent together. But the time I spent with Xander while you were gone changed me. Nothing romantic happened between us but we connected on some level that we never had before."

Riley could only look at the women who owned his heart. With every utterance from her lips she gave him a shard of the broken organ back, no longer wanting it. "When I came back you shut me out. You didn't give me a chance to help you with your mother. I wanted to be there for you and Dawn."

Buffy couldn't help but to agree with some of what he had said. "I know you did. But at that time the only thing I was concerned with was my mothers recovery. Everything else in my life took a distant second place."

"Except Xander."

"No. He has always looked out for me and Dawn. He's been a good friend and nothing more, at least until recently."

Riley stood and approached her. He was angry. "So I guess you're throwing away our relationship like yesterday’s trash. New Millennium, new man in your life. Is that how it goes?"

Buffy took a deep breath. "It's not like that and you know it. When you left I was crushed. I did run after you when the your helicopter was taking off. I was screaming, but you didn't hear me. I'm sorry that I haven't told you already about me and Xander. We are just getting used to our new status. It's not easy being friends with someone for years, then all of a sudden falling in love with them."

Riley could hear the honesty in her voice. "I knew you didn't love me. I knew way back in September. I told Xander that. Some friend he turned out to be."

Buffy rose to her boyfriends defense. "He didn't make one move on me until New Years Eve. He never told me that you told him that until recently. He was and is a good friend to you. Maybe you should have confided in the man that has known me for five years when you began to feel left out of my life. He might have been able to give you some insight or advice before you decided to let vamp whores suck on you," Buffy finished with pure venom.

"I suppose that is the excuse you're going to keep using in our relationship."

"Oh, for Christ's sake. How could you let those vampires do that to you knowing the life I have to live and their place in it," Buffy drove her point home by punching the wall next to her.

Riley turned away from here. "You don't understand. I just needed to feel.....something, anything. You were shutting me out before I left. I felt like I didn't have a place in your life anymore."

"That is no fucking excuse. You are a goddamn grown man. You were laying on the filthy floor of what looked like a crack house that the crack addicts abandoned while letting those vampires bleed you dry. You should have just called me on it. That's what people in relationships do when times get hard. Have you ever heard of tough love."

"I'm also human. I never thought that was enough for you."

"I was in love with you for a year. I never cheated on you or strayed," Buffy said vehemently, hoping she is getting through to him. "I hate that I hurt you. I hate that I wasn't up front with you about Xander as soon as it happened. But the fact of the matter is that our relationship was severely hurt by your indiscretion. If you would have stayed in town, we might have worked it out. But you didn't."

"I needed time to think."

"Then don't call me or come over my house for a week. Don't hop a fucking plane to the jungle to escape your problems. I told you I did that once and it cost me dearly."

"Forgive me if I am not perfect."

"Neither am I."

They stood across the room from one another.

They might as well have been separated by continents.

"You are absolutely sure you're in love with Xander," Riley asked, looking for a speck of hope.

"I'm sure. There is no doubt. I'm sorry," Buffy said softly.

Riley nodded his acknowledgment. He was hurt, but she seemed happy.

That was, in the end, the only thing that mattered to him. "It was good."

She knew what he was speaking of. "Yes. Yes it was."


******
Go Part 4

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