The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #52 -- Da Message Board

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Date Posted: 19:27:48 08/20/00 Sun
Author: Jared
Subject: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #52

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #52

52 already? You know it only seems like a couple of weeks ago we were celebrating number 50. Yeah OK a bad joke. But to my defense everything like this needs a bad joke to start. Just look at the Logies.

So it's been 365 days since I started this thing, guess it's time for a little look back at just what it is all about. Only one problem, I can't really remember how it started. This probably due to the fact that it began late on a Friday night after the imbibing of a little too much alcohol rather than the amount of time that has passed.

Those of you who have been with me since the start may have noticed some things have changed during the last year. Firstly you may have noticed that at some point the column changed its' point of view. When it first started it was all "I. I. I." (better stick that ego back in the box). Along the way it became a case of "we" instead of "I", this wasn't because I had some desire to use the royal plural (though that would have got the ego going again) it was instead my way of acknowledging the fact that GBU was no longer just a solo effort. There were some other people lending a hand.

First and foremost I have to mention Ratbat. Ratbat is the Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Quentin Blake to my Roald Dahl. Each week she works magic and is fully deserving the title I bestowed upon her; "Goddess of HTML". Twice she has stepped in and covered my arse with the barest notice, plus she does her own weekly column "Ugly Ugly Talkback" and don't forget she manages the whole of "The Coffee Table Book Website" solo. Where would we be without her? Where would I be? Actually right now I'd probably be at the bottom of a margarita glass instead of writing.

Then there are the "Deep Throats" the wonderful people who help me search out the dark ugly corners of the web, give their opinions on many things and alert me to the crap, sorry important information, I may have missed. It was these people that led to the creation of GBU HQ. Thankyou all of you.

So where do we go from here? What will year two bring? Well it will be more of the same really. I'm going to continue the Good, Bad and Ugly format that we know and love but I'm also going to increase the number of stand alone columns such as "Hair" and "Old Age". They were an experiment that seems to have paid off (there goes the ego again) and I'm kinda happy about that. But they are going to be fairly erratic in their appearances, so don't hold your breath.

So finally thanks to you for reading it each week, or every other week or actually reading it at all. It's nice to have you along for the ride. Now join me and the GBU HQ crew as we go in to the one, the only
GBU #52.

THE GOOD

48 Shades of Brown - Prophetic, that is what we are here at GBU HQ. We plugged this book by Nick Earls and proclaimed its greatness and earlier this week so did the Children's Book Council of Australia when they announced it as Book of the Year in the Older Readers category.

Powers - Go to a comic shop and buy it now. Go on. Get.

It doesn't matter - So what if Wyclef Jean has only made one appearance, the South Park:Bigger, Longer and Uncut soundtrack, since the last Fugees album. It doesn't matter. Sorry couldn't resist. But this latest single is being played loud and often at GBU HQ plus for the kitch value you can't go past wrestler The Rock on backing shouts.

Frontier Psychiatrist - The Avalanches may have been responsible for the dreadful track Undersea Communication but we are more than willing to forgive them now they have given us the funky soundscape of Frontier Psychiatrist. It is only available as an import single or a free tape, or from Napster if you are really lucky, but is well worth tracking down.

Cuban Baseballers - In a dreamworld it would be these guys versus Australia in the Olympic Gold Playoff. Cuba produces the best baseball players in the world and pays them bugger all. Needless to say the American agents will be out in force to see how many they can entice to defect.

Festival of the Boot Part 1 - Next weekend it's the first part of the festival that grips a nation around the reproductive organs and gives a good squeeze. Yes it's the Rugby League Grand Final next Sunday where the Brisbane Broncos will go up against the Sydney Roosters. So whack on the cathode ray nipple, turn the radio to Triple j and watch the boofy blokes run up and down the paddock to the strains of Rampaging Roy and H.G. Nelson.

THE BAD

Stan Grant and Tracey Holmes - Kerry Stokes, owner of channel seven and their boss, as got a little hot under the collar after the news of the two television personalities affair broke across the nation and actually managing to knock off Russian subs and Olympic screw-ups. Seems Stan and Tracey have been sneaking around for ages, the naughty little bunnies. Kerry lost complete control and has fired the both of them. Overreaction? Quite possibly. A plot to remove Stan from an ailing tabloid TV show? Could be. Do we really care? Nope.

Brittany Spears - What has she done this time? Well besides sending lusty email to one Prince William and getting her hand slapped by the Palace (which almost endears her to us) she has also gone off and done a cover of the Rolling Stones classic "Satisfaction". When will this girl learn that there is being Bad and being bad.

Elvis movies - Which is I guess is why we like them so much.

Being a leading Australian stage actor - It's been a bad week for some of Australia's top actors. Hugo Weaving, currently starring in The White Devil in Sydney, collapsed unconscious after the blokes who were strangling his character with a rope got a little too enthused. Thankfully it was during a media rehearsal and Hugo was up and about for opening night. In Canberra 4 shows of The Beauty Queen on Leenane were cancelled after Tracey Mann almost came to tears at the closing of opening night. We have heard she has a nasty chest infection and hope she gets better soon.

President Vladimir Putin - Not letting a nasty little international incident that resulted in the deaths of a couple hundred Russian sailors get in the way of a holiday. What happens if war breaks out? Will he stay in his room?

Video referees - Firstly they take all the pressure of the field ref, which is where it belongs. Secondly you take the situation in the Parramatta Vs Brisbane rugby league semi-final where the idiots up in the box pressed the wrong button not once but twice.

University Admissions Offices - ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Having friends who own firearms - Because the temptation is there to give them call and ask them if we could borrow their weapon and go shoot some University staff.

THE UGLY

Survivor hype - There is politics going on that has all of America buzzing but it isn't happening at any convention (after all who wants to talk about Al Gore?) it is happening on a small desert island. We don't understand Survivor or why people watch it. To get our fix of the ugly side of humanity we watch the news and our politicians during question time.

The odds of making it to 100 - Can we make it to the next milestone? Do we have the right stuff? Do I have the attention span? Will Jared get a girlfriend beforehand? All these questions and more you didn't ask will be answered in the next 48 weeks. Stay tuned.

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Replies:

Re: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #52 -- David H, 21:44:56 08/20/00 Sun
Ugly, ugly talkback... -- Ratbat, 23:36:24 08/20/00 Sun
The Boot -- Benos, 15:02:04 08/21/00 Mon