Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 01/ 1/08 10:57pm
Hi, Stephanie,
My heart goes out to you. If you aren't constantly at war in your own mind, it will relieve a lot of the stress. For you to protect your baby is NOT selfish. It requires some sacrifice, as you well know.
Unfortunately, having an abortion will NOT make it end and go away. You will have had this precious child, and you will take away that precious protection and it will probably haunt you the rest of your life. Women who say they're fine with it aren't always telling the whole story. They don't feel they can talk about it, and they're still wishing it would all go away, and they think if they don't think about it, it will. The problem is, even though we are not consciously aware of it, we have already bonded with our children, and that bond will be disrupted, and emotionally it will affect us one way or another. Think of the possible consequences if you are harmed in some way and can't take care of your other children, or you lose interest in completing your studies. I have known women for whom this was tragic in itself. The consequences, both emotional and physical, are severe, and there is no guarantee you will be one of the lucky few. Please know that in order to do an abortion, they have to harm your body. Why? Because our bodies were designed to protect our children, and if they disrupt that, it causes grave harm. I think it is criminal you even have to MAKE such a decision. A pregnancy should bring joy, and as long as you have this hovering over your head, it won't. It is common for a woman not to want to be pregnant at first, even when the baby is very wanted, and it's a hormone thing.
Did I tell you that I got my degree when we had four children, three of them preschoolers? I had the help of my husband part of the time, because he took care of them while I was in class. But you can get help from a crisis pregnancy agency to find a way to care for your children while you are in class.
What's selfish about all of this? That you won't do your boyfriend's bidding and take care of the little problem so he can take advantage of you again. You're not thinking of him and putting his desires first. Well, it isn't his decision. It's yours, because you have to live with the consequences. He doesn't. And I think that's what is eating you emotionally. You don't want an abortion. You have made that very plain. You are not a good candidate, because you really don't want it. You have a right to have your baby. It may seem like a strange right, but believe me, you will understand if you protect that little one.
Anyway, I urge you to protect your baby. If my experience has any validity, I can tell you that I have talked to hundreds of women, and in that time, I have only talked to a woman ONCE who wished she had had an abortion. And she fought to keep custody of her baby when they wanted to take her away. But the number of women who have expressed their regrets from having an abortion has been overwhelming. They would give anything to take it back, but they can't. Abortion is forever. At least as long as you are still pregnant, you have a choice. Abortion ends that choice. The most typical thing I hear these women say is, Not a day goes by that I don't think about that baby (the one they aborted).
Please save yourself a lot of grief. Don't hurt yourself or your baby. We will help you find the resources you need to make it through school. Have you talked to someone at a crisis pregnancy agency yet? If not, PLEASE do. You can find one in your area by going here: www.pregnancycenters.org At least talk to them before you do anything. It is an opportunity to save your soul and your motherhood of all your children, and you most likely will always regret you didn't take a look at your options.
Regardless of what you do, we will be here for you. We just won't help you hurt yourself or your baby. We love you both.
Hugs,
Pat
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