Re: Secound time around. -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Thursday, April 25, 10:45:06

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Subject: Re: Secound time around.

Author:
Lori

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Date Posted: 07/30/06 2:45pm
In reply to: Chyna 's message, "Secound time around." on 07/29/06 3:25pm

Hi Chyna,

Welcome to the board. I can definitely relate to your situation. I experienced a unplanned pregnancy at the age of twenty and I can remember how scared and confused I was then. All of my friends told me to abort, my boyfriend wasn't even sure if he could handle having a child. I came from a Christian home and I was terrified that my parents would be so angry with me so I felt completely alone. I didn't know how I would be able to have a child when I still felt like a child myself. I couldnt' even support myself back then but I made the choice to keep my baby and I have never regretted my decision. I thank God everyday for helping me make the right choice.
I know you feel so much pressure right now but this is only for a little while. Eventually if you do decide to keep your baby people will accept it. I know lots of girls and women who find out their pregnant and their parents are completely upset, pressuring them to abort and those same parents who wanted their daughter to abort are completely smitten with their grandchild when their born.
When we find out were pregnant and when others find out their were pregnant everyone just seems to have a break down and start worrying about the childs future and how their going to take care of this child. But, you can take care of this child there are a lot of programs offered by many states and pregnancy centers that will help you to care for your baby. Don't make a decision about this hastily because you could make one of the biggest mistakes of your life. You can't bring this child back if you do choose to abort and no matter how many children you have in your future you will always look back and think about the child that should have been.
Were here for you no matter what you decide but I plead with you to research your options go to www.pregnancycenters.org and find a pregnancy center in your area they have a lot of information that will help you. Also, go to afterabortion.com this is a neutral site where you can hear from women who have had an abortion. We never know how we will react to anything in life every person is different but I think its important to hear from other women who have went through abortion and learn from their experiences.
I truly wish you the best, and I will be praying for you. If you ever need to talk feel free to email me any time. Please remember to make a decision that you can live with, not what your boyfriend or parents can deal with because this is your body and your baby.
If you would like to read my story please go to http://www.geocities.com/pregnancyhelpnow/continuestories.html .

God Bless,
Lori

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[> Subject: Re: Secound time around.

Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 07/31/06 10:49pm

Hi Chyna,

I'm sorry to hear about all the pressures you are going through. Whatever anyone thinks, you are ultimately the one that will have to live with your decision most. Chances are good that if your boyfriend was excited about the baby last time that he will come around this time. The main problem is that you crossed the barrier the first time so everyone assumes you can go through it again. That isn't necessarily true.

If you do not want an abortion the best thing you can do is to tell everyone and dig in your heels. The sooner they realize it isn't an option for you the more likely the pressure to do so will lessen. If they think there's a chance you'll relent then the pressure will get stronger.

What do you think the odds are that everyone involved will adore that baby once born? From my experience they are probably pretty good. I have seen some men who are completely disinterested, but since your boyfriend was interested before the abortion last time I think that would increase the odds that he'll eventually come around.

To be honest I'm not sure how any of us manages the first time around. Most women want and could use a little help, so don't be embarassed if you need some. Most people (even with planned pregnancies) aren't 100% ready. IT's a growing/learning process when you have a baby. You have some time to prepare. In your case, I would recommend a Crisis Pregnancy Center in your area. They can help with practical needs, but more important can offer a bit of emotional support for you. If your mom is willing to go with whatever you decide, then perhaps she can help you in getting the guys to back off a bit from pressuring you to abort.

Stay in touch, and let me know if you need help finding a Crisis Pregnancy Center in your area.

--Melanie