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DEAD POET'S SOCIETY sucking the marrow out of life |
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below:absence -- sin, 20:57:40 06/19/03 Thu
a r r i v a l
During our first few dates, we
scribbled our confessions on paper,
sending them like fast-forward
letters back and forth across the table.
Then you relented and taught me sign-
language, demostrating how "like"
is the drawing forth of an invisible
string from the centre of your chest
like a loosened thread, freed from
the constraining fabric of your body,
while "love" is the crossing of
both arms in an act of self-defence
and a warning, or simply that "X"
which marks the point of arrival
upon the very treasure map of you.
c y r i l w o n g
Stained Memories -- Yage, 17:58:16 06/16/03 Mon
An Old watch with new batteries failed to run,
Am now confined to another with a history to tell.
Blobs of white memories remain on its face and strap.
Memories meant to paint love are now left to pain the heart.
cloudy starry night -- Yage, 03:37:06 06/14/03 Sat
It's a cloudy starry nite,
u see twinkle in the clouds.
Do not pray and hope,
as they may be just litter in the sky.
my mom is cooler than i am -- sin, 11:36:27 06/13/03 Fri
You know your family is dysfunctional when
Your mother asks you how to manoeuvre a clitoris piercing.
colors -- sin, 02:30:32 06/12/03 Thu
I saw a rainbow yesterday and thought everything was going to be just fine.
I thought, the universe is full of signs, maybe finally this one is for me.
Such hope. Such colors. I thought.
conversations -- sin, 02:26:14 06/12/03 Thu
Thinking about yesterdays
That long forgotten statement from you
Seemed like a page of irony
Right out from a satirical novel.
Because you are
You are the epitome of aloofness.
You embrace the ideals of singularity.
And spit simpatico like bad poetry.
Yet there you were challenging loneliness in the face
Daunting it not to stay but go.
I never knew how to read it
Whether to stay or go.
But somehow the oxymoronic dialogue
I overheard between you and your heartcrys
I found not disbelieving but rather
Sensual in all its glorious vunerability.
I forgot you were just a boy.
come in -- sin, 01:55:45 06/11/03 Wed
Knock knock waiting for
Your shadow to light up behind that door.
pain -- mel, 21:43:20 06/08/03 Sun
the pain i feel
is unexplainable
"go away!" i yelled
turning away din help either
it was still piercing me
through my heart
how it hurts, to know
and suffer
yet no one knows
nor cares
a silent tear falls
to be wiped away
for fear of being seen
how i hate this feeling
of being lost and hurt
without knowing why
am i to be alone in this world
to survive on my own...
Dilema -- Yage, 04:49:42 06/03/03 Tue
I do not know whether should I stay or move on.
I read and I feel no point in staying.
I know and I saw no point in staying.
Yet there is no hope as I am not moving.
Maybe I am tired,
Maybe I am listening to a inner voice,
Or maybe I am waiting for Your voice.
But right now, I am truly stranded at this point.
Colours -- Yage, 04:16:17 06/03/03 Tue
My vision to colours slowly blinds.
___________________________________________________________
As far as my flashlight could reach,
I could hardly see any sign of colour.
Colours that vividly painted my world once seemed unimaginable now.
I am still in a state of daze.
Is it because of the truth i have forced upon myself? or is it simply me losing grasp on my life? i do not know.
__________________________________________________________
Walking alone in my lonely backlane,
I once thought i saw blinking reds ahead,
but as i reach it fades,
when I reached its dead.
It is Illusions that i chose to believe that has caused all these? i do not know.
I have no answer.
I just pray that my fading flashlight keep shining,
And hopefully before it fades off completely,
my long lost glass prism will be found.
Numb(ed) -- Yage, 03:01:14 06/03/03 Tue
Feeling i once knoe ceased to exist,
Numbness i once hate continue to persist.
If numbness can be deemed as a feeling,
all i can feel now is the feeling of numb.
To treasure what I have now is what i was taught,
Not to crave for wat I dun is what i was told.
Glad that I treasure the numbness I have now,
for the it serves as a reminder that I am still alive.
I do not hate it anymore, it is all I have now.
SMVL -- sin, 01:58:48 06/03/03 Tue
: It doesn’t bother you that he’s so...
: Different? If you really like someone, you accept every part of them, but you can’t do that until they’re willing to share every part with you.
: I think people like Byron keeps a part of himself hidden so he doesn’t scare people away.
: If you want to get close to someone, you have to take that risk.
: What if the risk is too big to take?
: Then you might miss out on something that could be pretty amazing.
rash rationality -- sin, 16:03:14 05/30/03 Fri
Perhaps
Maybe
If
I had been worthy
Indiscreetly foolhardy
I would have told you
I'd almost loved you
A time very long ago.
If
Maybe
Perhaps then
you wouldn't have to leave alone.
there are times -- jian, 11:27:41 05/30/03 Fri
there are times when I am not wanted
it happens very often
at least I think it is the case
though rejection seems painful
I cannot find explanation for the stinging in my heart
the tears in my sleep
the car crash in my mind
it's time to throw in the cards
the whistle has been blown
I'll be home
Where are you? My comrade in battle -- how, 04:46:06 05/28/03 Wed
You left me to fight this monster.
Like a general without his right arm,
I stood powerless in front of it.
Still, I tried my best to fight.
But losing a right arm is no laughing matter.
I can't face the challenge.
Both in spirits and in strength.
Only to find myself in my own blood
After the battle.
With the monster laughing
At my little attempts to nudge him
Only a little.
Where are you?
My comrade in battle.
Are you fine?
Are you better?
I need you.
Both in spirits and in person.
But so....?
The battle is over.
I've lost the battle.
And I've lost you
My comrade in battle.
life as you pictured it -- jian, 00:01:17 05/28/03 Wed
i live in my dreams
making full use of each moment
learning new things by the day
meeting new people by the minute
jetting off to far away lands
doing the things i have always seen
moving on like i've never been
is it real or just a dream?
it doesnt feel like i'm in a dream.
it feels so real.
what is reality? what is a dream?
I wish I am not human -- how, 18:47:59 05/27/03 Tue
I wish i can turn a blind eye
to the things beside me.
I wish i can not feel
the angst aroused in me.
I wish there is no hate
for the guy who hurt me.
I wish there is no bonds
between the surroundings and me.
I wish the sky
will ever be so pretty.
I wish the events around me
will be what i wish.
I wish. I wish. I wish.
But.....I am only human.
my doctor's chair you once reside -- sin, 02:14:24 05/27/03 Tue
Sometimes
I could lie awake
And dream of long forgotten thoughts
And wonder in my miniscule existence
Whether it did all happen.
Either was it the fact
That happiness was eternallty elusive
Forever long fleeting or
I must have imagined it all
In my little mind then.
But it WAS happiness I once felt beside you
Pure, untainted, unstrung happiness
I cannot remember
Where to find it these days
Except maybe
By the impression you left behind
On my black sueded chair
That still leaks quietly of your ardour.
bus stop -- jian, 18:36:27 05/23/03 Fri
i saw you go up the bus with me
distant and distinct
i saw you go down the bus without me
while i was across the street
all at the bus stop
love letter to no one -- Sin, 00:58:23 05/21/03 Wed
I heard a coarse hoarse voice from below. It was my neighbour, a boy, of twelve, thirteen maybe, I can't really remember now. He broke voice. It was funny to think, a kid I once looked over as a baby, was now soon growing into adolescence. And I couldn't recognise that change.
I wished I knew you when you were younger. So I could see what made you. Is your world really that different from us? I know for one that the skies are bluer, and at night, the stars fill its capacity with their blushing brillance. So unlike my skies, which are of the palest barest blue you cannot imagine. But sometimes, just sometimes, my grouses are refuted by the amazing travel of clouds, threatening to blind our eyes in all their pure radiating whiteness. And that is when you would call to me, eyes ablazed, fingers frayed heavenwards, that the sky, the sky is too beautiful. So so beautiful, that I, I am rendered speechless.
Like the sudden lone yellow flower we saw under the tree one day? I joked of how the careless wind would blow it away. How the restless rain would beat mercilessly upon its leaves, yet still it stands, proud and strong. You always had an eye for those things no one esle ever saw.
Yes, I wished I knew you when you were younger. So I'll know what gave you that silent voice of poetry, those words on paper that beg to be heard. And who put that music in you, together with all the other stuff you know I hate like Physics and Mathemathtics you could never managed to convince me to love. And what made those eyes that used to search the skies fervently for answers, grow old and cold. Their arrogance and deviance once alive before, I see no more.
If I knew you when you were younger, I would say to you in all my childish recklesses, get on that train to Vietnam, gather your things by the ocean and I will meet you there.You'll bring the maps. You've already bought the maps. I'll take the cat. Two cats.
But too late.
I should have known that you were too good for this world.
I just didn't believe it then.
Then again, maybe I'd wished I've never known you.
For then I would have never
Never ever
Experience
Loss.
mine? -- jian, 00:21:22 05/19/03 Mon
the world is not mine
i cannot choose how to see it
i see it through a tunnel
as though i am in need
there are others in the world
i am not the only one
mine is not the only need
mine is not the one
greed -- mel, 20:09:55 05/11/03 Sun
where is the life
i dreamed of
which steadily
sifted through my fingers
where is the impulse
that i used to have
providing the throbbing excitement
which is now just a thud
where is everything i seek
which i see in everyone's lives
except mine
am i being greedy? ungrateful?
but that is life isn't it?
we want....
more....
everyday...
slap -- jian, 09:57:15 05/09/03 Fri
i want to return a slap i was given
for the sense of pain
and helplessness rendered
with the silence
knowing that my presence
was unimportant
knowing that i did not make a difference
i want to return the slap i was given
standing here
till i sat
i wish i was heard
i guess the wind blew too hard
what a mess it caused
with my hair all ruffled
and my heart fails to settle
i want to return the slap i was given
with an outreach
that i am still here
i want to return the slap i was given
heck, i've been waiting
i'm still here
... -- jian, 23:22:43 05/04/03 Sun
the sweet taste returns to my face
as I read the words I so yearn to hear
a name I had not forgotten
a person whom I hope had not forsaken
with each word
a new sensation happens
retrospection
revolution
memories flood the skies
as feathers float across the clouds
flakes crystallize as they melt in my laughter
it is my style to imagine and to fantasize
as though it had all happened
and that I had lived
it is stranger when it all happens
outside my head
someone thought me the words
he had thought me the quotes
it had gave me hope
it show me ...
communication -- jian, 14:20:42 05/04/03 Sun
for 27 years I've been trying
to believe and confide in
different people I found
some of them got closer than others
and some wouldn't even bother
and then you came around
I never really knew how to move you
so I tried to intrude through
the little holes in your veins
and I saw you
but that's not an invitation!
that's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you, but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect
you always seem to know where to find me
and I'm still here behind you
in the corner of your eye
I'll never learn how to love you
but I know that I love you
through the hole in the sky
where I see you
-The Cardigans
15- we are still there if not even lower -- jian, 02:01:33 04/28/03 Mon
in the pursue of dreams
in the chase for dreams
we have forgotten one thing
and that is how to live
the daily rituals
that we lament
are but void of any comment
we enclose ourselves with education
closing ourselves through differentiation
grieving sometime we steer
19april01 prayer,, -- egee Trey, 03:42:55 04/26/03 Sat
My desperation to get things done
are but things that'll keep me destracted.
What am I avoiding?
Am I still searching for agendas other than one that'll keep my soul fed and
calm?
Am I still trying to convince myself this world can keep me happy?
Dear lord, my God, I can't find it. i've failed. I've always believe love
can keep me alive but love failed me. And ego only lift me to higher ground
to let me fall.
Still, I will not find you in churches cause i know you ain't there. I know
no matte what i do they're all govern by you. Our almighty sheperd do not
know only one way to safety. U know the roads to all lands.
give me strength to continue, and live my life fufiled.
my prayers.
inlove 140201 -- Trey,, 03:00:29 04/26/03 Sat
i did not know how
for it's my first
i made our love hard and dull
and anger burst
still we shared a feeling mutual
still we indulge in child's play matured
Still we address each other by nicknames
&
lay together with candle light dimmed
I do not know how
for it's my first
to try to let go break the vow
and end the verse.
my everything -- jian, 15:02:26 04/23/03 Wed
I know the world through my window
the drifting clouds
the blazing sun
the dance of the trees
the tune of the birds
the humming of the bees
the world beyond my own
the world beyond my window
hope -- mel, 02:34:46 04/21/03 Mon
where was the hope
i once saw
right within my grasp
with days
it seemed to float
away from my sight
and yet it was there
lingering
lingering...
now,
it's darkness i see
where was the hope
i once saw
alexan -- sin, 01:49:23 04/20/03 Sun
As the sky clears
Maybe I'll have found out you were waiting for me.
Cause it had been raining just now
And everything was so unclear.
Now the rays have somehow managed to squeeze through
the stubborn clouds,
the rain had ceased.
Somehow felt reborn again
and probably,
You've been waiting all this while for this to end.
R.S.V.P. -- who am i?, 01:28:42 04/20/03 Sun
Come my dear, there are crayons for you;
paint me the world reflected in your eyes.
Show me my dear, what your heart whispers today;
for here revealed are my thoughts have gone on by.
I see pain, i see sorrow. No,
it is the cry of innocent behind bars.
I see joy and liberation,
these are the screams of one who is found.
I see the eyes of a man who is blind,
who sees still but not very far.
I see one in bliss,
but seeks the profound.
I see one in flight,
no longer rooted to the ground.
And what of you my friend? What of you?
Ah. of false pretence.
of hypocritic pride.
of undisclosed ignorance.
of achilictic confidence.
perhaps it's time to hide.
And so I stand in premises so unstable,
family, neighbours, friends or acquaintances.
My world of now no further than my table,
crammed in the mrt, exchanging glances.
moment of splendor -- jian, 23:54:42 04/17/03 Thu
there is a painting outside my window
it seems frozen at the moment
nonchalant to the activities around it
the sky grows darker
as the hue of the painting changes colour
as the sun sets
it takes with it the rest of the day
and I know that it has been another day
the song on the radio continues to play
oblivious to the emotions it displays
where? -- mel, 15:37:24 04/16/03 Wed
you point this way,
i walk
again, you point that way,
i walk
yet,
three hundred and sixty degrees later
i sill see no sign of you
where are you?
how can i find you?
i am lost...
rain -- jian, 09:51:14 04/16/03 Wed
The rain beats hard on the window
the radio blasts loudly
as the hot chocolate sits on the table
water drips and trickles off the roof tops
the trees seem happy with the feeding
the skies are happy, they are finally crying
the world is darker than it were was
yet clearer to the birds who attempt to soar
blinds -- sin, 17:44:35 04/15/03 Tue
Blinds
are nothing
but an exclusion of incandescence.
words -- how, 05:41:30 04/15/03 Tue
words
are nothing
but a filter that blinds
life -- mel, 23:09:18 04/14/03 Mon
life
is nothing
but a heap of words
blow wind blow -- jian, 18:36:13 04/11/03 Fri
the north wind blew
a gush a sadness over me
a grain of sand
lodged in my eye
drew a drop of tear
that weeped into the sky
it drew a fear
from which my heart cried
out aloud into the world
no sound was drawn
but shadows fell
onto the ground where
I stood
it was clear
the end always seemed near
the wind a comfort
to know I was here
speak -- jian, 13:16:17 04/11/03 Fri
all the things they said
all the things he said
all the things she said
creates images in my sleep
running about before me
I awake to find them
on my chest
on my heart
awake in some parts
pene -- sin, 04:07:24 04/11/03 Fri
You're taking drugs
Stop it you say.
Serious look.
It's nothing
Compared to what I grapple in my head.
I can't take the inflictions.
And the man who wasn't there.
junkie -- sin, 03:58:47 04/11/03 Fri
Everyday I hurry back
To find an answer to ease this broken heart disease.
It's just too easy to get hooked on painkillers.
it's only just began -- jian, 22:42:42 04/10/03 Thu
the war is over
I am reminded the way life use to be
the baggage, the useless
all the things not meant for me
I want the war to go on
to keep me busy
to keep away all the things that prick me
the war is over
I am not happy
I don't want things
they way they use to be
and complicate me
[On the eve of the Unicorn Glade] -- da, 21:33:31 04/04/03 Fri
I found a fairie ring under the tree this morning. There were three of them, one blue, one red and one green.
So I asked the blue one, "direct me to where I dwell, this old mind of mine serves me not well."
But the blue one heard me not, for she was all too busy, with the dew in her pot.
So I asked the red one, who was giggling at my getting cold-shouldered, "yes go on and laugh, I know I am as lost as the capricious draught. But won't you guide me to where I dwell? Oh little fairie, pray tell pray tell."
But the red one answered me not, for she was all too happy, to be bothered with my lot.
So I asked the green one, who seemed kind enough, "please please, return me to where I dwell, my sweet old secluded woodland dell."
And the green one turned and led, for she was the kindest of all three, this sorry rag back to my humble shed.
I thought -- jian, 18:37:14 04/04/03 Fri
a boot and a shoe
does it belong to you?
lying there
as though asleep
could it be you?
through frosted panes
that drip and drap
I thought I saw
the one I knew
I must be mad -- jian, 18:33:13 04/04/03 Fri
.
aA -- jian, 16:26:29 04/01/03 Tue
farmed trees made in thailand
growing in cages
fed by farmers
slaughtered to make paper
randomness -- sin, 20:32:11 03/31/03 Mon
When I turn to above
All that surround
Are voices of disenchanment
Hovering around.
Like black mist.
Like ominous skies.
Like venom.
Come back
And
Tell me again
Your white lies
Your fairytale stories
Your cloud theories.
Remind me. Once more.
Because
Even now
Your brooding wordlessness
Your silent protests
Your absence of utterances
Would redeem more comfort
Than a thousand words at their expense.
one afternoon -- jian, 15:08:10 03/29/03 Sat
it feels quite sad in here
the fan spinning above me
the pot looking at me
the clock passing, flipping
the lives of others beckons
oh it stopped
the voices of those next door
oh they moved
outside to an open room
I clawed at the floor
there is no tunnel, I assume
but a door
open, letting the light in
keeping me out
she thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway - for da -- sin, 16:20:15 03/28/03 Fri
The
other day
I
threw away
All
my boxes
Marked
with crosses.
What
good remain
naught
of pain
I
sealed in
An
envelope within.
And
with dawn
beckoning
the morn
I slipped it
under your door
For you to trample
upon the floor.
braindead -- mel, 11:33:26 03/27/03 Thu
think!
i say
he says
everyone says
not working
ants -- mel, 11:31:22 03/27/03 Thu
i awake
at the stomps of feet
my first visions
of things misty
of things blurry
yet it seems to blur into one
as it comes closer
and closer
still
perfection!
seeing six legs
scurrying around
something so tiny,
yet made in beauty
smack!
this beauty
captured in time...
listen -- jian, 00:24:27 03/27/03 Thu
listen to the anger in the sound
dish, bang, crack
can you hear it calling out to you?
bing, dang, wack
seeking your attention
singings it's sorrows
can you hear the pain?
love -- sin, 04:05:14 03/26/03 Wed
Everything is bright again
I put my resentment in boxes
Beside those labelled 'pain'
And marked them with axes.
Everytime I do this
Hurling boxes out of windows
I can hear my peace
Returning like butterflies in the meadows.
And then
I can almost begin to love you.
hatred -- mel, 03:03:36 03/26/03 Wed
i live
to see.
yet,
i hate
everything
is it me
or is it
the world
it is me...
i hate
birthday by the sea -- jian, 22:13:17 03/23/03 Sun
contentment fills the air
with ships in the bay
with sounds of waves
with horns in the distance
the sky above
with shades of red
with hints of shade
with hues of grey
the planes above overhear
our conversations
as they glide into the clouds
taking my hopes along
everyone seems so happy
so far away
perhaps its the salt and sand
that makes us all want to stay
the candles hear her wishes
our voices united in pieces
for a moment it seemed so real
for that moment, time stood still
two-month-old promise - for jian -- sin, 17:37:17 03/22/03 Sat
If you would
reach out
Maybe you could
touch clouds
Of contentment and find it
Isn't so much
An abstraction
Stemmed from
Your imagination
After all.
Because one Thursday you came my way
And I swore I saw
Light in the corridor
Never before.
silent all these years -- jian, 19:05:53 03/20/03 Thu
Excuse me, but can I be you for a while?
My dog won't bite if you sit real still.
So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts.
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?
My scream got lost in a paper cup.
You think there's a heaven where some screams have gone.
I got twenty-five bucks an' a cracker;
Do you think it's enough to get us there?
Years go by, will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand?
Years go by, if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my head.
Years go by, will I choke on my tears 'til, finally there is nothing left?
I hear my voice, I hear my voice, and it's been here...
Silent all these years.
I've been here.... silent all these years.
excerpts from "Silent all these years" by Tori Amos
[a garsteress's wib] -- da, 22:41:56 03/19/03 Wed
I jummale the poila with a threaked mool,
only to garster all that is sool.
What fankle is this?
A glotamable pliss?
For I unbronder with dert,
in this defelasking lurt,
With a smatty wob and a flanty jur,
I tranplisted oethily my inklet of ver.
And hence the lanor wess,
the enk's drooky of tess.
go .wind .blow. -- sin, 23:02:51 03/18/03 Tue
Somewhence along time
We learnt
The secret language
Of silence
Maybe the wind has caught your words
And flown them to me like a thousand caresses.
But today
It feels a little more like it.
[] -- da, 16:01:29 03/15/03 Sat
And if I had known
that I know would know everything
none of these
none
would have
had happened
[] -- da, 15:57:22 03/15/03 Sat
.... .. ............
.......
... ........ . . ......
......... ... ...
... ..
.............
......... .... .........
..... .. ........ ...
. .
idiot -- jian, 14:11:15 03/15/03 Sat
why do people have to make my life miserable?
As if i don't do that enough to myself
to confront me with needless issues and meaningless words
and yet they trigger off a spark that burns
i don't want to hear
i don't want to know
what is important to you
is all crap to me
The Cure -- Sin, 17:26:54 03/14/03 Fri
A heater shorted and it burned almost everything I own. Because we were here for four months, I'd brought all my worldly goods with me. We saved my lyrics, crawling along the floor with wet towels around our heads. We had to make a chain and hold hands because I was the only one who knew where they were, I was the last in the chain. We got really told off by the firemen, it was like being back at school. They were saying "You're life's more important than your words" and I was like, "What do you know?". They were the only thing that was irreplaceable, I thought. The next day, I was sifting through the charred remains and I came across my wallet and it had two pictures of me and Mary - the first tow pictures we ever had taken together - and they were still there although a bit charred around the edges and I was really pleased. I genuinely felt happy about the fire, I didn't feel upset, I felt releif in a very banal way.
I realized I'm holding old pictures of things, even taken before my birth, to give me a sense that things went on.
~Robert Smith
I've been looking so long at these
Pictures of
You that I almost believe that they're real I've
Been living so long with my pictures of you that
I almost believe that the pictures are all i can
Feel
Remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
I ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
The sky fell in holding you close how i always
Held close in your fear remembering you
Running soft through the night you were bigger
And brighter and wider than snow and
Screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
Sky and you finally found all your courage to
Let it all go
Remembering you fallen into my arms crying
For the death of your heart you were stone
White so delicate lost in the cold you were
Always so lost in the dark remembering you
How you used to be slow drowned you were
Angels so much more than everything oh hold
For the last time then slip away quietly open
My eyes but i never see anything
If only i had thought of the right words i could
Have hold on to your heart if only i'd thought of
The right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
My pictures of you
Looking So long at these pictures of you but i
Never hold on to your heart looking so long for
The words to be true but always just breaking
Apart my pictures of you
There was nothing in the world that i ever
Wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world that i ever
Wanted more than to never feel the breaking
Apart all
My pictures of you
drunk on gin -- sin, 02:49:02 03/13/03 Thu
Do you think it'll be all right
If I could just crash here tonight
Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feel like I matter too
And you know?
it might not be that bad.
Him -- how, 03:22:55 03/12/03 Wed
Spending my time to read
just to gain my senses
only to nod my head with falling lenses
Trying my best to think
just to lose my direction
only to stare ahead with my hand in ink
Giving my whole to make
just to lose my temper
only to bash my model with a grin of fake
Gearing my self to fight
just to lose my sight
only to box my front with nothing close to tight
It's him alright
Is him alright?
Is him all right?
song on replays -- sin, 00:55:42 03/10/03 Mon
Tonight
We can no longer fight
We can never return to it
Once we begin to see
Through the eyes up over heaven
Would you ever return to me in the end?
I'm not afraid of you at all
If you turned away they will
All fall
Tonight
We can no longer try
All the time that i cried
I want you
Again
~Remy zero~
cute -- jian, 20:10:53 03/09/03 Sun
cool on the exterior
cool in the distance
fierce in the stare
quick on the glares
cute within a smile
sweet with a style
the words from a stalker
a mind i won't want to tamper
[in summer] -- da, 13:46:07 03/09/03 Sun
In summer,
I flew
over the village graveyard
and the church spire
toward the castle bastion.
And in my respite,
I found
in my wings
a burr
from the older greens.
[early in fall, late in winter] -- da, 13:40:09 03/09/03 Sun
animation from mortadellatv
lost II -- mel, 00:10:01 03/09/03 Sun
crammed in the mrt,
exchanging glances
looking at their tees,
through thick glasses
yet i don't see a thing,
that is so captivating
why then is everyone looking?
is it so mesmerizing?
that's life
i say
they strife
everyday
yet, it happens
not once,
not twice
but all the time
that's life
again
i say
to be monotonous,
to be controlled,
just...
to be
i say
again
that's life
the first 2 sentences are from an e-mail i got... -m-
listen -- jian, 23:01:53 03/08/03 Sat
standing amongst the crowd, peering through the hype.
searching for fleeting moments of hope is all that I seem to do
walking down the path of time, I realise that I have always known. the words were told, through the lessons you withhold
mighty I thought I was, noble I thought others were.
we are no different from her, in makeup in cycles
if only we listened hard, hard enough to see.
that the key of happiness lies within you and me
the task is easy, hard because it was never told.
listen with your heart, the truth was never so explicite
[iris; or how i remember it] -- da, 18:46:22 03/08/03 Sat
And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Kite -- sin, 15:26:29 03/08/03 Sat
My wings have flown!
They don't work as good as yours do
Anymore.
No Ordinary Morning -- sin, 15:22:49 03/08/03 Sat
One morning early
You asleep in obivilion.
I gathered my things
Quietly.
I didn't want you standing
There.
Watching.
From your wooden troves
One of them had four chambers
In it I found sanity (so this was where it went!)
And my long lost fervent passion
Now a dying flame.
I tried to keep it down
But still you stirred.
And so, tippy toe-y, tippy tope-y,
I closed the door behind me
In case you got up, and said "Get out."
Or worst, you'd wrap
Your arms around me
In slumber
Then I would lose all my courage
I've gathered that morning
and the nights before
To leave.
paranoia -- mel, 01:28:41 03/08/03 Sat
the edge
and
i
am
fall
ing
the impossible -- mel, 23:30:34 03/06/03 Thu
thoughts racing through my mind
what should i write?
yet my hands fly over the paper
and what do i see?
lines and more lines....
is that it?
i ask...
what else is needed of me
EVERYTHING
was the answer i got
want my senses,
my mind,
my soul?
and the answer was still
EVERYTHING
After a crit -- how, 18:27:37 03/06/03 Thu
I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately.
Only to find the trees turning their backs on me.
I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.
Only to be sucking at something that's already dry.
To put to rout all that was not life,
And not,
When I had come to die,
Discover that I had not lived.
Alas, Only to find myself to put to rout,
Had come to live but only to die,
To die twice,
Twice the pain of a worthless life.
a message -- how, 10:19:53 03/06/03 Thu
It's time
to die.
In your own way
or others' ways.
I call upon all deaths
Deaths of all
Be it sane or insane
Be it good or bad
Be it alive or dead already
Be it real or fake.
The Institute of Deaths--ID
ID--Institutional death.
[madness] -- da, 21:53:24 03/05/03 Wed
bonKERshysTERicalzeALousnutSLOONFREnzied
delIRIOusDEMEnteddERANgedpsYChoticSCrewy
nutTYdAFTWaCKyschIZopHRenicMEntalbeRSerk
lunATicMAdmANiacALUNHINGedcUCkooinSAnity
fanATicalhaYWirEWhackocRAzyPSYCHOCRacked
[cat] -- da, 10:05:27 03/05/03 Wed
a cat killed me
a rat
yesterday
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