VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Main index ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12[3]45678910 ]


[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 09:59:20 05/27/05 Fri
Author: Reverend E. Dwayne Looper
Subject: Jesus does not "fy around"

Jesus does not "fly around" as RW seems to think. RW has cofused Jesus and Superman, a common mistake amongst religious novices. Here are some of the important differences between Jesus and Superman:

Jesus: Superman

Walks on water
Cannot walk on water

Turns water to wine
Cannot turn water to wine

Is not harmed by Kryptonite
Is harmed by Kryptonite

Does not fly, but ascends
Flies, but does not ascend

Wears a robe
Wears a costume and cape

Is the Son of God
Son of Jor-L and Lara

Born in a manger
Born on another planet

Worked as a carpenter
Works as a journalist

Has a throne in Heaven
Has the Fortress of Solitude

Does not need glasses
Pretends to need glasses as Clark Kent

Never had sex with a woman
Boinked Lois Lane

Loves the Apostle John
Likes Jimmy Olson

Boss is a white-haired God
Boss is white-haired Perry White

Hovers
Cannot hover, but can fly

I hope this helps, RW. Jesus is only a prayer away. And he is always watching you. And, as it has been said, "Everytime you masturbate God kills a kitten," so keep it in your pants buddy.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]


Replies:



Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.