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Date Posted: 13:52:33 05/30/03 Fri
Author: Jonathan (admin)
Subject: Re: rural
In reply to: SYNTARSUS 's message, "Re: rural" on 02:32:44 05/29/03 Thu

Ah -laughing- yes this sounds like the town I'm from. Nosiness, taking you to lunch, some good some bad, yup. (I'm from upstate NY) But it may be some time before you figure out what's what, that's kind of what I was getting at, you probably have to figure out each person and their place in the community one at a time.

I have no trouble understanding your fear of rumors or gossip and such, that certainly is a problem small towns have a tendency to have. For me it was a kind of constant tension that I think is much easier to get away from in cities. They will be nosy, almost guaranteed, some do it to dig up dirt, some do it because they are interested in a good way and want to be welcoming and friendly. In contrast I've found the anonymity of the city to be very relaxing, I was relieved to take a break from the small town. Pay attention to your level of self-confidence, if someone senses that you have self confidence they might think twice about saying stuff about you. Be confident and make your own decisions and with some luck you'll be looked at as a leader rather than someone to gossip about. But of course never give anyone anything terribly exciting to talk about, unless it's someone you've built a decent friendship with. (or I suppose unless you're looking for a good suspenseful adrenalin rush :p ) Don't forget about the people who are quieter and less nosey, my guess is there probably are some, maybe even many, though naturally you might not notice them. They deserve credit for respecting your space.

In theory there is an advantage to it though, I hope it works out well for you and that over time you find that people look at you by your name, rather than just bluring you in with a broad category.


>Jonathan -
>
>I don't know really how the town is either. I've met a
>few people - some good, some not so good - but I don't
>know that much about them to really understand
>anything about how the people are. They seem kind of
>'nosey,' I can tell you that much. Maybe they're just
>trying to be friendly, but it's kind of scary!
>
>My town has a good university close-by. One older lady
>& her husband took me out to lunch at a chinese
>restaurant after church last Sunday. That was nice. No
>one would ever do that in the city back where I used
>to live, unless they really knew me. So, I'm trying to
>go out and get a social life, but I'm kind of scared
>that if I say something stupid (like about my family
>or something), that people will go around spreading
>rumours about me and my family, even though when they
>are completely untrue! I'd really hate that! In the
>city, you're allowed to be more 'anonymous', people
>don't get so nosey about every little thing you do and
>say. In the country, all they ever do is talk, talk,
>talk about other people!!! How rude!
>
>This is where I have some major problems in dealing
>with 'culture shock'.
>
>-SYNTARSUS

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