| Subject: Re: So how's it goin ya'all? |
Author:
scarletyoureyes
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Date Posted: 07:45:36 01/12/06 Thu
In reply to:
Dreemdanser
's message, "So how's it goin ya'all?" on 19:41:19 11/29/05 Tue
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS someone posted! Thank yoooouuuuuu Dreemy. I could really use this site right about now. Since summer I have gained back all the weight that I lost, and I am just so frustrated and unhappy about it. It started with going to school: social eating, stress eating, convenience foods. I made some really valient attempts but didn't make it a priority when academics took over. So then of course I felt sluggish, sick, and yucky. Plus, it seems that the "good-for-you" foods, especially organics and things from the health food stores, are way more expensive! As a college student who had NO luck finding a job, this was a concern for me. Don't you feel like this is backwards? Doesn't it seem like the healthy foods, fresh fruits and veggies, etc, should be LESS expensive since they keep people healthy? I don't know maybe it's just me but that doesn't make much sense! Anyway, then coming home for winter break, we had the illness and death of my grandfather so of course people were bringing over all sorts of yummy but not so healthy comfort foods, not to mention the social eating that goes on when you visit friends on vacation. Living in NE PA, there isn't a whole lot to do so you end up entertaining with food. I'd be so good all day, then wreck it at night by eating at a place where I wouldn't have a prayer of finding something good for me. And when everyone else is eating, it's even harder to resist, especially when your emotional reserves are down, as mine have been during most of this winter break. And it seems that not one of my friends or my boyfriend "need" to watch what they eat (man it gets me so ripped how my boyfriend can eat the most awful things and still stay lean! :-)) Excuses, excuses, I know, but they are definetly true. I was writing in my journal, trying to figure out WHY it was so difficult, and I realized it was those things: social eating and the comfort eating. and lack of excersize. So I realize that I can't care what anyone says or does. I can't follow the crowd and order a calorie-laden unneccessary meal when I'm out at night when I'd be just as satisfied with a decaf coffee or some fruit. I can't let myself go when my boyfriend says "WHAT? You don't need to be on a diet I like you just how you are" because this is for my comfort and happiness. I am so grateful that he doesn't see me differently when I've put on some weight, and that he loves me just as I am, but I want to be healthy, and I know he understands that too. And I can't, can't, CAN'T let friends or family sabotage my eating habits. My mother is really the only one who "gets it." everyone else in my extended family (aunts, grandparents, etc) has the tendency to overeat and they love company while doing it. When my grandfather was sick, all everyone did was EAT and it was really hard to say no.
I've gotten to the point where I just feel very uncomfortable and I think about my weight way too much for it to be healthy. I think that I just have to realize that this is a lifetime way of eating, not a "diet." That I can have the things that I like, in small amounts. And it's true what Dreemy says, "One bite tastes as good as the whole thing." So for about the last two weeks, I've been really changing my habits, but with a lot of slipups. Baby steps, I guess. I just really want to be back in control. On Saturday night my family and I went out to eat, and I ordered broiled fish and veggies (which were way overcooked, blah) and a salad (no soup). My brother had these french fries, which are one of my favorites. but I just ate two, and I felt satisfied. I have to remember that.
It's a lot of work, and will be moreso when I'm at school with more temptations and more stress, which makes resisting even harder. I realize that I can't go by what my roommates eat, because I want to be in excellent condition and excellent health. I have to bring food with me when I leave my apartment, whether it's out for the day or over to my boyfriends apartment (he doesn't usually have much in the way of fresh veggies and lowfat options). And I have to just feel okay about that.
I have been asking diety for a lot of help and also visualizing as well. Visualizing how I want to look and feel, looking at certain clothes that don't fit me as well that I really love and wanting to look good in them again. So here it is...I'm back in control but its not going to be easy...and I need this message board to help me out, too.
Thanks so much.
Peace,
Scarlet
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