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Date Posted: 10:46:52 03/24/03 Mon
Author: morgain
Author Host/IP: modemcable047.10-202-24.mtl.mc.videotron.ca / 24.202.10.47
Subject: Review of the B/A selection: The College Years

We can extend the deadline by a few days. Review away!

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Replies:

[> Alrighty then -- Molloch, 08:12:14 03/25/03 Tue (NoHost/203.55.173.3)

First off let me say that this was quite long. But I really did enjoy it. There was certainly alot happening in the story. Which was good and bad. Good because it seemed to be well thought out and added many elements to the story but also bad because at one stage I was thinking how many other new characters were going to appear and how many new storylines would I have to contend with. Overall though I thought it worked well.
It had many recognizable elements in the story such as the Watcher's Council and the Initiative. It did stray from the canon we know but in a believable way. I actually liked the Initiative the way we know it and found this one a bit harder to believe, but with the background on what they did in the past it seemed to make up for the seemingly ineffectual nature of the government operation. The writer seemed to have very strong knowledge of the characters. The only things I would question would be Angel calling Buffy "beloved" alot. That just didn't ring true for me and also Buffy going to Giles after being attacked. Being the loner that she is I wouldn't have thought that Giles would be who she would go to. Plus we saw her so many times go in her bedroom window when her mum didn't know, that she could've easily done that. That said, everything else seemed to fit and everyone seemed to be the way I remembered them.
The story is original but retains enough to be familiar. But sometimes it did seem that the writer was going back on too familiar territory. It seemed like for some parts he may not have been able to think of something original. I was quite disappointed in the ending where Darla was brought back. While I remember this vividly it just didn't seem to fit his existing storyline. I am going to go back and read the rest of it to see how he handles the Darla storyline and see if that changes my mind.
There were some spelling mistakes like belief instead of believe and evr instead of every but overall this did not detract from the story.
It did seem to move along well but in some parts it clunked along a little and I was wondering when it might end.
Overall though I did like this and I am going to read the follow up to it. I am going to take marks off for the ending as this did give me a vague feeling of not liking the story but I would still recommend it to B/A ers.

87


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[> Re: Review of the B/A selection: The College Years -- Kelso, 23:39:11 03/25/03 Tue (c66.190.39.48.fdl.wi.charter.com/66.190.39.48)

Two things about this story initially turned me off: the length (122 printed pages), and the title. "The College Years" just didn't do it for me. Then I read the story, and I really enjoyed it. It didn't feel like it was 122 pages.

First, the main plot was very original. Reading it, I felt like it could have been used as basis for an actual "Buffy" episode. It had that tone. The Huntsman idea made sense and I've never come anything very similar to it in any other story. I really liked how the plot fit in with canon (mentioning events from "I Will Remember You," "Hush," etc.) yet combined these elements with fresh ideas. I was never quite sure what would happen next, but when it did, it made sense.

Characterization was solid. I especially enjoyed the Riley portrayal, since he tends to get bashed in many B/A or B/S stories, and he was treated respectfully in this one. As for the others, they were in character and a line of dialogue only occasionally rang false. (For example, the bit where Xander said, "What would you have us do, Buffy?" It sounded more like wording Giles would use.) Overall, though, quite nicely done.

Problem areas:
-The consistent misspelling of "Mohra demon" as "Mhora."
-I wanted to deduct for Wesley's last name being spelled "Windham-Pryce" (the current canon version is "Wyndam-Pryce") but I found that the official site kept coming up with different spellings. Since they can't get it straight, what are fanfic authors supposed to do?
-The story was too choppy in a few places. For instance, all of a sudden Angel was human and the author recapped the events of "I Will Remember You" as explanation. Too much telling; not enough showing.
-The story really could have benefitted from more careful proofreading and editing. I noted an average of more than one error per page, which IMO is way too high, not to mention distracting.
A few examples from the roughly 200 mistakes I found:
She was right, he did need to heal. (Comma splice; story contained a fair number of these.)
Quentin Travers presence (punctuation error of missing apostrophe)
He resisted the urge to fiddle with hands. (missing word; "his" hands)
a big pot if ice cream (typo; "if" should be "of")

Rating: 92. I liked it a lot and would love to read more if the author goes on. Or has he already? I couldn't find a sequel. Anyway, this one was a very entertaining piece of fanfic.


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[> Re: Review of the B/A selection: The College Years -- Gwynevere1, 21:36:49 03/26/03 Wed (dhcp0228.hrn.resnet.group.upenn.edu/165.123.185.122)

*shrug* Once again, that was my basic reaction to this story. Not good. Not bad. Just there.

I do agree a lot with what has been said before, so I'll try to keep this brief. I never cared for the Initiative storyline the first time around, so I did not care for this much more unbelievable version here. The only aspect of its appearance in this story which I liked was that the author fleshed out the objectives of the Initiative a lot more than was ever done on the show. Like the previous posters, I was also turned off by the length of this story. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I know that I would not have chosen to continue to read this story if it were not for this group. The author could have written the events much more succinctly. The lack of any mature style to the author's writing really bored as well.

I apologize for what must seem my constant negativity, but I did not enjoy this work.

Overall score: 75


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[> Re: Review of the B/A selection: The College Years -- PJzallday, 00:15:39 03/29/03 Sat (px1so.cg.shawcable.net/24.71.223.140)

I thought generally this was a well plotted out work, clearly built on a strong foundation of the Jossverse (encompassing both BtVS and AtS).

Although there were many aspects/plot points taken from both shows, the author varied the outcomes in plausible and unique ways. I found the use of elements from the two shows both interesting/effective and at times overwhelming. On the positive side, I appreciated a realistic reconnection of Angel and Buffy --- taken from season 4 BtVS/season 1 AtS: Doyle's vision of Buffy in danger. I thought the variation of Angel's post-Mohra-demon attack visit to the Oracles was well done --- having him remain human but them suggesting he could still have a purpose/help Buffy. On the other hand, the involvement of some of AtS' other characters (and even the return of Doyle toward the end), Ethan Rayne's cameo and the introduction of so many new characters seemed a bit much to me. (Kinda like season 7 BtVS ;-) with SITs running amuck.) The end was rather confusing ---- not quite Restless-confusing, mind you, but leaning that way. (I assume that was the author's intention, but for me that detracted from the story a bit.)

Also, I didn't see a reason to resurrect Darla. (On the show it made sense because of W&H's desire to lure the vampire with a soul to their side --- but being that Angel was no longer a vampire... Hmm... come to think of it, in this story Angel was actually mentioned by name in the prophecy. Perhaps it doesn't matter that he wasn't a vampire anymore???)

The author's poking fun at cliché-ness of the actual TV-version of the Initiative warehouse was well done. I chuckled through that bit.

In my view, the author has a strong knowledge of the characters as well as the ability to develop an unique and well-thought out storyline. Dialogue and behaviour was believable pretty much all around (though the repetitiveness of "beloved" did come off a little... odd).

I was intrigued by the Huntsman mythos/lore, by the behaviour of Jackson King and his interaction with Buffy. I admit, though, I did groan when after Buffy killed King, the Huntsman chose Angel as its new host. (I was rather interested in seeing what might happen with Faith and King, but...) Also, I couldn't understand why after such a primal encounter between B/K, there didn't seem to be a more powerful primal "connection" *nudge nudge wink wink* between B/A. (That they were both able to control those more base instincts with each other seemed... strange and perhaps even disappointing.)

There were some errors in punctuation/grammar/syntax --- more noticeably in the latter sections of the story --- but nothing which seriously impeded understanding or enjoyment of the work.

On the whole I thought this was a very good fic, representative of what I think the Buffyverse is about. While still being "'shippy", it didn't exclude the actual "Slayer" aspect of BtVS's base.

83/100


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[> Hey I made it finally! -- Chani, 14:40:16 03/29/03 Sat (curie.noos.net/212.198.0.93)

It was very long, but I enjoyed this story.

First I have to say that I loved the first chapters! This beginning was great! I've always thought that the Cow isn't used enough in fanfictions.

The story was well built and the plot has been followed logically, though I think that Angel turning into human was too much sudden. Something doesn't fit in there.

The idea of the Huntsman was refreshing and quite plausible...I can see the CoW doing something like that! The character of Jackson King was really intriguing (I really liked the Huntsman/Slayer bond stuff...)and his encounter with Buffy...WoW!

I also liked the way Riley has been portayed and I enjoyed that the author went deeply into the Initiative stuff.

I liked that Angel had to deal with his new humanity and had to ajust to the changes...Actually I can't watch Ats well in France (they have aired the two first seasons with many missing episodes here!)so I haven't seen IWRY!).

As for the things I disliked....Too many characters who weren't necessary for the main plot IMO. The confusing ending doesn't fit in the whole story...I was really disappointed in the end...Above all I have been disappointed by the B/A ship! I expected more emotions, someting more intense and more romantic. The characterization was good except for Angel...

However I think it's a very good fic and I recommend it!

85/100


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