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Date Posted: 00:50:34 03/18/03 Tue
Author: Bri
Author Host/IP: cpe-66-1-253-227.co.sprintbbd.net / 66.1.253.227
Subject: Re: Can we start General Review and Discussion of B/X "Through Different Eyes"?
In reply to: Gwynevere1 's message, "Can we start General Review and Discussion of B/X "Through Different Eyes"?" on 21:31:57 03/17/03 Mon

Okay, I have a few issues with this piece too. Even though I wrote it, and genuinely am fairly pleased with how it turned out, there were a few things I wish I would have done better.

First off, the Buffy jealousy bit. It was overused. There are several points in the show where she gives in to irrational jealousy, but she's normally not so vocal about it. Also, even though there were sound reasons for her jealousy, I could have come up with different ways of showing her displeasure.

I'll give you guys this one, as an insight from the author's mind that you don't always get: I'm a core W/X 'shipper, and that was coming through too clearly in this fic. I wrote the B/X as a challenge, as it's not a 'ship I normally care very much for. I felt like I was forcing the jealousy as a catalyst for Xander's reassurance that he loves Buffy, not Willow. I wish I could have come up with something more appropriate to fuel the emotional insecurities.

Okay, the other part I had a major issue with is, as many people have commented on, the uncharacteristically serious side to Xander. Again, as with Buffy's jealousy, there were many hints that Xander had that serious, quiet and mature side to him, even though it wasn't displayed very often. Most notably, his negative responses to Buffy in the early seasons were based on her irrational/irresponsible behavior, or anything she did that endangered Willow. In this fic, I used both of those devices to bring out his mature side. Unfortunately, I *did* overdo that and it made him seem more season five or six-ish.

There were quite a few things I liked about this fic, too. I thought that I did a very good job of capturing Buffy's voice-in early season one, she was very girlish and funny and reacted before she thought. I really like the first scene with her mother, when she got defensive about the way she'd dealt with Xander. I thought that was something she really would have done at that point.

Secondly, I liked Willow. Most of the B/Xers who read this fic as I posted it got mad, saying that Willow was "manipulating" Buffy and Xander, whereas I felt she was entirely in character. She was wounded but tried to be supportive, just as Willow would have been in the first couple seasons. She was thoughtful and considerate of both her best friends.

This is another side note-there were complaints that Willow "got over" Xander too quickly. I wrote that part at the same time I was going through a nearly identical situation. And maybe a lot of people have never felt this, but it *is* possible to just wake up one day and be "over it." Not so much so that there's no longer any feelings there, 'cause Lord knows you'll always keep them inside you in some way, but you can realize overnight that it doesn't hurt anymore, not if you don't let it. And that's the realization I had Willow come to. It fit the way I thought she would deal with the situation.

Lastly, I liked Xander and Willow's plot to give Buffy a day of normalcy. One of her chief complaints has always been that she wanted to be a normal girl, do normal things and go out with normal guys, but it was more prevalent in the first few seasons. I liked that Xander caught that. He could be incredibly intuitive, when he wanted to be. Unfortunately, the writers don't let that show except every now and then.

Overall, I thought it was good. Not my best effort, not by far, but I didn't think it sucked. I give it an 82/100. (Of course, I've graded all the fics generously, including the ones from last session. LOL)

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Replies:

[> Re: Can we start General Review and Discussion of B/X "Through Different Eyes"? -- Kelso, 02:31:43 03/18/03 Tue (c66.190.39.48.fdl.wi.charter.com/66.190.39.48)

What I liked:
-The story had a very sweet tone. Fluff, to me, is generally a good thing, and I much prefer this sort of story to those that are heavy on the angst. It was a nice light read, though not *too* light. The material dealing with Willow helped ground it and of course Willow's feelings for Xander were a significant issue.
-It was straightforward and easy to follow.
-I liked the fact that it was set in the first season. I don't much care for B/X, but I find it much more palatable in fanfic that I think I ever could on the show. And for me, if this pairing was ever going to happen, the windows of opportunity were greatest by far in S1, early S3, and S4.
-No spelling mistakes that I caught.
-Generally, I liked the Willow and Xander characterizations. The issue of Willow's crush on Xander was handled well, not just brushed aside or ignored. Maybe she got over things a bit too quickly; maybe not. The speed didn't bother me much, though.
-I also enjoyed the introduction of Oz, which of course happened before he ever appeared on the show.
-Good use of humor.
-The story held my interest throughout. I never reached a point where I really wanted to quit. Since this pairing is far from one of my favorites, that means more than if I said it about a B/S or a B/A story, for instance.


What I didn't care for:
-Not a big thing, but I'll mention it anyway. I wish author's notes had appeared right above the text, instead of on a different page that wasn't even linked to the story. When I started reading, I had no clue about the time setting, who the speaker was, etc. I figured it out as I read but it would have been better if I'd had the basic info going in.
-Setting was after "The Pack," where Xander was possessed by the hyena spirit. But it was also after "Angel," because in the story Xander knew Angel was a vampire. What then of Buffy's feelings for Angel, which really came out strongly in the "Angel" episode? They seemingly did not exist here. For some reason, Buffy suddenly loved Xander and Angel was basically no one. I saw no real resolution of the Angel situation, no moment when Buffy decided she was "over" her feelings for him and could move on. She hardly seemed to give a darn about him at all.
-What made Buffy decide she loved Xander? Because she saw a dark side of him in "The Pack," as was stated in the story? That dark side wasn't really Xander, though. It was the hyena spirit that had possessed him, and Buffy had to beat him off of her with, well, not a stick, but a desk. And even if S1 Buffy actually was attracted to darkness, at that point she wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, even herself. She was more likely to admire Xander's good qualities instead. That element was mentioned a bit in the fic but not enough to really work for me. I just felt like Buffy's love for Xander came from basically nowhere. I needed more basis for it.
-Factual error. Both Buffy and Xander stated they were 15. When the show began, though, Buffy was already 16. Xander had to be, too, because he's older than Buffy.
-Some technical errors, average of about one per page, including shifts into present tense and a number of missing commas (as in "Hey[MISSING COMMA] Wills").
-Most of the time, Buffy's voice was good, but at times it felt too cloying and squealy even for S1 Buffy.
-Why was Buffy so angry when she went home and found Angel talking to her mom? I would think she'd have been more curious and worried, wondering what could possibly have happened to make him show up, but she was downright mad, to the point of throwing the door open, snapping at Angel, and glaring at him.

Rating: 71.


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