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Date Posted: 02:31:43 03/18/03 Tue
Author: Kelso
Author Host/IP: c66.190.39.48.fdl.wi.charter.com / 66.190.39.48
Subject: Re: Can we start General Review and Discussion of B/X "Through Different Eyes"?
In reply to: Gwynevere1 's message, "Can we start General Review and Discussion of B/X "Through Different Eyes"?" on 21:31:57 03/17/03 Mon

What I liked:
-The story had a very sweet tone. Fluff, to me, is generally a good thing, and I much prefer this sort of story to those that are heavy on the angst. It was a nice light read, though not *too* light. The material dealing with Willow helped ground it and of course Willow's feelings for Xander were a significant issue.
-It was straightforward and easy to follow.
-I liked the fact that it was set in the first season. I don't much care for B/X, but I find it much more palatable in fanfic that I think I ever could on the show. And for me, if this pairing was ever going to happen, the windows of opportunity were greatest by far in S1, early S3, and S4.
-No spelling mistakes that I caught.
-Generally, I liked the Willow and Xander characterizations. The issue of Willow's crush on Xander was handled well, not just brushed aside or ignored. Maybe she got over things a bit too quickly; maybe not. The speed didn't bother me much, though.
-I also enjoyed the introduction of Oz, which of course happened before he ever appeared on the show.
-Good use of humor.
-The story held my interest throughout. I never reached a point where I really wanted to quit. Since this pairing is far from one of my favorites, that means more than if I said it about a B/S or a B/A story, for instance.


What I didn't care for:
-Not a big thing, but I'll mention it anyway. I wish author's notes had appeared right above the text, instead of on a different page that wasn't even linked to the story. When I started reading, I had no clue about the time setting, who the speaker was, etc. I figured it out as I read but it would have been better if I'd had the basic info going in.
-Setting was after "The Pack," where Xander was possessed by the hyena spirit. But it was also after "Angel," because in the story Xander knew Angel was a vampire. What then of Buffy's feelings for Angel, which really came out strongly in the "Angel" episode? They seemingly did not exist here. For some reason, Buffy suddenly loved Xander and Angel was basically no one. I saw no real resolution of the Angel situation, no moment when Buffy decided she was "over" her feelings for him and could move on. She hardly seemed to give a darn about him at all.
-What made Buffy decide she loved Xander? Because she saw a dark side of him in "The Pack," as was stated in the story? That dark side wasn't really Xander, though. It was the hyena spirit that had possessed him, and Buffy had to beat him off of her with, well, not a stick, but a desk. And even if S1 Buffy actually was attracted to darkness, at that point she wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, even herself. She was more likely to admire Xander's good qualities instead. That element was mentioned a bit in the fic but not enough to really work for me. I just felt like Buffy's love for Xander came from basically nowhere. I needed more basis for it.
-Factual error. Both Buffy and Xander stated they were 15. When the show began, though, Buffy was already 16. Xander had to be, too, because he's older than Buffy.
-Some technical errors, average of about one per page, including shifts into present tense and a number of missing commas (as in "Hey[MISSING COMMA] Wills").
-Most of the time, Buffy's voice was good, but at times it felt too cloying and squealy even for S1 Buffy.
-Why was Buffy so angry when she went home and found Angel talking to her mom? I would think she'd have been more curious and worried, wondering what could possibly have happened to make him show up, but she was downright mad, to the point of throwing the door open, snapping at Angel, and glaring at him.

Rating: 71.

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Replies:

[> Re: Can we start General Review and Discussion of B/X "Through Different Eyes"? -- Leatrix, 03:38:41 03/18/03 Tue (httpproxy.clear.net.nz/203.97.2.243)

First person stories are always difficult to read when the voice isn't quite right. Something about Buffy and Xander's characters isn't quite there with this fic, which detracted from the story. In saying that I think the author has made a valiant attempt to try and capture the feel of S1 Buffy.

In light of how the series has progressed, attempting to write such a piece that reflects S1 and the way relationships *might* have developed is pretty gutsy. The story would probably benefit from some tighter editing, but apart from that its perfectly plausible.

My score 75.


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