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Subject: How to let go????


Author:
Tammy
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Date Posted: 09:07:59 01/10/07 Wed
 Ok guys I need some help!!!!! I was doing really good awhile back and letting my daughter live her own life but now I see myself being dragged back in again and I just need some help getting back on the right track. Everytime I turn around there is something dramatic happening and somehow she manages to pull me in. I am trying really hard but I do really stupid stuff like going to her house at 1:30am because she says she is getting prank phone calls and it is scaring her.

I have also found myself checking up on her at school to see if she is attending or not. I know that this isn't doing me any good but I work at the school system and the secretary at her school will call and ask questions about where she is and of course I find myself being sucked into the whole thing. I just think that it's not right that they let her miss so much school while there are other kids that want to go there but are waiting for an opening. It's an alternative school and it is her last chance at a high school diploma so I guess they want to help her graduate even when she isn't putting forth any effort. I know that it is not any of my business but when they call me I just fall into the whole thing and get caught up in the mother role.

I can see where this is leading me and I don't like it. It's like I am just watching to see where she is going to mess up next and I know that kind of attitude doesn't help her or me. It sucks, I want to be a mother to her but I know that I can't help her right now and there is nothing that I can do or say that will change her and that thought kills me.

I have cut the visitation down to 1 hour a week supervised and that seems to be helping but she still calls during the week. When I told her that I was cutting visitation because of what she was saying to Cerinaty she told me that she was doing her best...that she had her own house and she was going to school and that all I do is put her down. She does have her own house but how she is paying for it I don't know for sure, she said that she is babysitting and cleaning house, but all I see is that she is not holding a steady job. And as far as school is concerned she is enrolled but misses at least 1 to 2 days a week because she is "sick".

I don't know, maybe I am being too hard on her or maybe I am just being too involved with her. I just don't know anymore...so any advise would be greatley appriciated. Sorry I went on for so long, I just need to be able to tell someone this that can understand and know where I am coming from.

Thanks,
Tammy
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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: How to let go????Heather12:20:14 01/10/07 Wed
Re: How to let go????SUSAN20:28:18 01/10/07 Wed

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