| Subject: Shelly |
Author:
Shari
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Date Posted: 08:22:54 08/30/06 Wed
Shelly,
You are correct in the fact that your situation is different beause you were never married to your addict. You have it better than the rest of us. Everything you need to do against him is free of charge!
You said that he has to pay you $100 a month. How long ago was this ordered? Your county's Department of Human Services Child Support office should be able to help you get that changed if it has been long enough. I would make an appointment with them if I were you.
With regard to "assuming" he is in rehab...you don't know that and don't have proof of it, no matter how obvious it might be. Therefore, you need to respond to him as if it never happened.
When and if he contacts you again to see her, you might want to consider contacting your Department of Children and Family Services regarding what you should do. Remember to state the facts and things you have proof of, and not the things that you assume. You said you have written proof of him using, but you do not have any proof of rehab; thus, he is still a user. They might just step in with an order for him to not be around your child. This order will stand up in a court of law. It also could help you obtain a restraining order to get him to not contact you in any way.
Your daughter has the right idea. She has detached...you need to also. Until he has proven himself clean, do not call him or anyone regarding him, do not write him, do not communicate with him in any way shape or form, nor anyone else regarding him except the authorities that can help you get what you need from him. Yes...easier said than done, but this will help you heal. Each day will get a little better.
You said that you haven't told your daughter that her father's addiction is meth...YOU SHOULD. There are different degrees to which the drugs cause havoc in lives, and meth is the ABSOLUTE WORST of all of them.
This man isn't working, yet he has all this money? Is it inherited or is he dealing? If he is dealing, he is more than likely cooking...and that is a catastrophy waiting to happen.
You agreed with him that you wouldn't take him to court if.... don't worry about it. You don't have to. The fee-free agencies designed to help the guardian parent will do it for you. Just provide them with the facts, and step back and wait.
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