VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]
Subject: Heather


Author:
Dawn
 		[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Date Posted: 22:24:08 08/27/06 Sun
 Heather, I know what you mean about wanting drug tests but guess what.
When I went before the judge it became his word over mine. My husband never showed for any court dates while he was using. That is one of the reasons I got full custody, supervised visitation for him and ultimately the restraining order.
Now he is clean and appearing before the judge in a suit.
At our last hearing the judge said to me, "Either you really believe he has a drug problem and he does, or you really believe he has a drug problem and he doesn't or he doesn't and you're using it to keep him from his kids'!!!
YIKES!!!! because he could not determine this and because there is no documented proof of drug use the judge appointed an attorney to represent our kids. Our kids had to be interviewed. The attorney believed me but said that by law the judge could not order him to be drug tested.
At the next hearing she mediated for us and I agreed to give him 6 hours of unsupervised visitation. I also offered to pay for a hair follicle test to be given sometime soon & if he agrees to this and passes and I am assured that he has been clean at least 6 months i would agree to additional time. however the attorney said the downfall of this is if he passes the judge will give him regular visiation. it's 2 edge sword.
I asked even if he shows clean what if he starts using again? She said they can not withold visiation on the basis that he could use again & she suggested that I enroll my kids in an alanon meeting for kids so that they will be aware of what to look for????? I thought this absurd. My kids never witnessed his crazy drug behavior why would I want them in a room hearing all the horrible stories from kids that did?
It is crazy! All I want to do is be sure that our kids are safe with him, but I know that if I had not agreed to the 6 hours the judge would not have been pleased.
For now, he is still unemployed and has no home. he lives with his dad. So I feel somewhat safe regarding visitation increases. He has not paid support in 15 months & has been ordered to get a job.
The court process is very interesting and not necessarily fair. i go back on 9/27. By then he is supposed to report having employment.
Let me know what happens at court and be sure to always say "our" kids not my kids.
Talk soon,
Dawn
[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:
Subject Author Date
DAWNHeather09:05:36 08/28/06 Mon
Re: HeatherBeen There13:49:49 08/28/06 Mon

[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.