| Subject: Will the Courts in Canada.....ever listen?? |
Author:
Nikki BLUEiizz
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Date Posted: 09:12:13 03/30/06 Thu
Well, i am sure happy i found this website. I have a huge problem, and i sure would like some input, especially from lawyers, (who may know how i can word, my victim impact statement correctly.) I am a single mom (now) with 3 children. I knew "mike c" for about the past 15 years. Mike was a friend of my childrens deadbeat dad. I knew throught our highschool days, that Mike was an addict. His drug of choice, crack. I watched him, destroy, one relationship after another. I was always fond of Mike, and met up with him about 3 years ago, when he returned from western canada. When, we got together, i "felt sorry" for him, that he was "clean" and struggling to get his life back on track. Being on my own, since my twins were born, I decided to let Mike become a part of "my little family." My children adored him, and I loved him more than words could say. I stood behind him, and helped him build a business, a home (which I already bought b4 we met), and helped him with the court processes of getting access to visit his 14 yr old son, (i used to babysit). This is a long story, with many heartaches, etc...so i will try to make it short, in hopes SOMEONE, can help me with my quest.
After living together, and the kids calling Mike dad, life seemed to be finally turning out RIGHT. wow....was i ever wrong. Mike would get paid from a job, and disappear for 3 days. This would happen EVERY 4-6 weeks....like clockwork. I ould get the cell phone bills and find out, he was calling his dealer, b4 he even got paid. He pawned all of my jewellery, or tools, ANYTHING and everything, when he was "triggered" to get high. I gave him ultimatums...I watched my HERO, the LION, My KING....turn into a paranoid, scared little child. I found detoxs and rehabs...and signed him up, and took him. He never completed anything b4 he met me. On my birthday of the 2nd year we were together, Mike disappeared on one of his 3 day nightmares....He called me, scared to death, that the police were outside the seedy motel, he was getting high at. I packed up the kids, drove to the town, and was going to pick him up and "save" him, once again. When i pulled into the parking lot next door, i was surrounded by police, and put in handcuffs...and taken to a cell, charged with obstruct a peace officer. When I was released 4 hours later, Mike was released at the same time. He was charged with possession of stolen licence plates.. I looked at his clear bag of belongings, and SAW....his crackpipe, at the bottom...I was shocked, that it was listed as "one pipe". He was never further charged. I listened to his cries and pleas for help, so i advised him, that if he went to REHAB, i would take the note to the court, and have it put off to save him, once again. When my court appearance happened, the charges against me were completely dismissed. (thank God). Mike returned home, and stayed clean and serene for approx 5 weeks. We went to the casino, and after we returned to the hotel, i woke up at 2 am, and looked around, mike was gone again. He returned at check out time, crying, and i took him back. Following this there was slip after slip...for the next year and a half. I didnt want to end it because i have never loved someone so much as i did him. However his mistress cocaine, was always in the background, casting fears and doubt...and triggers....on a monthly basis. I learned to watch him, and saw the twitches in his face, b4 his relapses, I had 2 children in the hospital with food poisoning last summer, and came home to find out, he was smoking crack in our bedroom, while MY son, was in the room next to us. I told him, he had to go to a 3 month program...or get out. He went to the program...and (it was the most successful) of all the rehabs, he had ever attended. I found out from a friend of his, the CRACK dealer, was cooking the crack, and enhanced it to be Crack/crystal meth combination. Once he returned home...we was again clean this time for 11 weeks...and i was proud... He was locked in the bathroom, telling me to please go get him some anti-diareha medicine at 2am. I went, and my heart told me, he was getting high...I chose not to listen. I was wrong....and this was the end of our relationship. The kids were devestated, I was lost, and hurt, and the business was our only source of income.
Now....the story is sooo much more in depth, but i dont want to bore you, so PLEASE....i need some help. My assaulted me, in the garage...i was devestated to find out, he was sexually active with a 17 yr old babysitter. The police arrested him, and made a no contact order.
Court is remanded until April 10, 2006. The victim services, has asked me to write a letter to the crown, and advise, my thoughts on mike.
Jail, is not the answer. The love of my life, is DYING from this disease. I still love him, and probably always will. I do not want him to continue killing himself, and/or the SPIRIT and livelyhood, of ALL the familys and friends he comes in contact with.
I do not want him to DESTROY....ANY MORE CHILDREN....I do not want to ENABLE him to DESTROY me...any further. The points i need to make clear in this letter to the crown, are that....his enabling qualities for using...are "access to a vehicle..(although his DL is suspended)...no further use of cell phones...and to attend 12 steps meetings on a regular basis. I also need to point out the facts, that he needs to be DRUG TESTED....for all his probation appointments... The drug testing, is the ONLY way, to hold him accountable...and BRING HIS BOTTOM...TO HIM...
Please help.....any suggestions, are greatly appreciated.
I thank you in advance. I do not want to be angry, or hurt any longer.. I just need someone to listen...and save this man's life...because I no longer can, and I ache inside...like i am watching "my fellow brother die."
Thank you
With Gods Blessing
Nikki
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