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Date Posted: 09:57:33 11/09/02 Sat
Author: Cactus Watcher
Subject: CW's Writer's Journal for "Safe" (spoilers for the ep.)

“Aw mom! Do I have to?”
“No, but nobody’s going to do it for you.”

This was a big week for Drew Z. Greenberg. First we had a Buffy episode that a lot of people had trouble with on first viewing. Now we have a Firefly called “Safe” that I didn't find much improvement in on second viewing. Perhaps bringing in Buffy writers to insure the future of Firefly, has had mixed results at best. At least we can say we have the beginnings of a couple of decent stories, namely what exactly is Shepard Book’s relationship to the Alliance, and where will River’s spooky mind reading power lead.

From last week’s episode , Jayne says, as River rips the labels off the canned food, “Do that in public and get herself hauled off.” - That is the whole of this week’s main story isn’t it?

In the store, the ugly ‘duckling’ - Turns out to be a swan. Well, sort of. Is this supposed to be symbolic of River or of the social class difference between Kaylee and Simon?

Kaylee takes offense over Simon’s insult to Serenity - Just before this, Simon has accidentally insulted Kaylee’s sense of taste, so we could be indulgent with Kaylee. But, Simon is clearly upset and Kaylee picks this moment to make it worse. Each time Kaylee has gotten mad in the series it’s because Simon hasn’t met her expectations of how he ought to treat her. But, clearly she is the pursuer in this relationship. The character Kaylee is getting pushed into being very self centered, where as Simon seems to be living mostly to keep his sister going. This is not the way to start a lasting love affair between them.

“It’s dirty and sharp.” - Look around the store. Everything is tidy and clean. Why is the post-holer dirty?

Mal stepping lightly through the meadow muffins, “This is the last time, the last time with cows.” This begs all kinds of questions about artistic license here. Mal said earlier that the cattle have been on the ship for three weeks. The cargo hold was full of cattle. Where was the feed? The deck is amazingly clean considering. How did they clean it up on the trip? Where did the liquid go? Do these people have any idea what a feed lot smells like? I seriously hope Serenity has a very effective cleaning and airing system!

“Milk and hay three times a day, fed to ‘em by beautiful women.” - Again serious problems with the writer knowing nothing about the subject. What kind of twit would water grown cattle with milk? Feeding them three times a day? Has Greenberg ever even seen a live cow?

“Twenty a head” - Why are these people negotiating? Would Lord Worackerro (sp?) send the herd C.O.D.? With no fixed price? What would keep Mal from pocketing half the proceeds? Would Mal be crazy enough to buy the herd for resale? The old west, trail-drive ways of doing business can’t apply here, because Mal obviously knows nothing about cattle.

“My comprehension is less muscle, the more tender the meat.” What the heck does Greenberg think meat is? He‘s thinking of relative fat and gristle content, but he’s saying it all wrong. The less muscle, the less meat period. A good bargainer could easily get this herd from Mal for a handful of beans, ‘magic’ or otherwise.

The posse appears - When Simon comes out of the store to look for River. He sees the posse. Behind Simon’s head in the store window there are newspapers taped to the window. The papers are printed in Chinese, just as Simon’s father’s was. Somebody in the properties department went to a little extra effort. Granted I don’t know Chinese. The papers may have glaring time errors showing. But, it at least looks better than Greenberg’s complete ignorance about cattle.

“Blah, blah, blah… you are bound by law to stand down.” Is half the punishment for murder on this planet having to listen to this long winded “Arrest speech?” I don’t get the idea Greenberg completely understands the phrase “stand down” from this scene either.

River dance - I bet someone was smirking when they decided on Irish-style music. Of course, Summer Glau was the ballerina on the Angel ep “Waiting in the Wings.” It was only a matter of time before ME had her dancing again.

Gunfight - Am I crazy or didn’t the guns on earlier episodes go ‘bang/’ They definitely go ‘piff’ in this episode.

“Dear Diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy…” Best lines of the show. Certainly the writers are quite fond of Jayne.

The wise woman - I’m glad our Wisewoman isn’t like that one.

“Daddy will come and take us home.” - Now Mal is Daddy?

“I had to leave your mother at the dinner table.” - The folks at ME (maybe Joss in particular) could use some serious professional help with their parental issues.

I hope the notes for the next episode won’t be such a nitpick-fest as these last two have been.

Question for thought. What happens if and when River is ‘cured?’ Does she become more normal? Does she lose her mind-reading ability. For the sake of the story, does River have to stay half-crazy and not be ‘cured?”

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