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Subject: A recent abortion is ruining my life... Author: Ashleigh [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 00:23:32 09/27/07 Thu Where to begin? First off, I just turned 23, I'm married and I'm a military spouse. My husband is currently deployed, due home in January some time. I had an abortion in April of this year, and am having an incredibly hard time letting it go. I hate myself for what I did, or for what we, as in my husband and I, did. There isn't a day that goes by that I dont think about what happened. I would have been due in November, and I keep thinking about "What if I would have kept it?" and its slowly making me fall into a deeper and deeper depression. As a result, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and I'm on anti-depressants. I'm not good with talking about my feelings and emotions, so its putting a huge strain on my marriage. I have so much guilt and remorse over what we did and part of me blames my husband for the choice we made, even though it was US who made the decision. I can't talk about the abortion without breaking down into tears, I have suicidal thoughts and I have even began cutting myself. I dont even know who I am anymore! We decided to end the pregnancy because, one he's in the military and this life is stressful enough to deal with, without bringing a child into the mix. Two, we knew he was deploying in July and would miss the pregnancy and the birth and I didn't want to go through any of it alone and three, finacially, having a baby wasn't a smart idea. Before anyone says "Why weren't you using birth control?" I was! I forgot to take my pill 2 days in a row and it happened. I think about our baby everyday, and what he or she would have looked like, what they would have grown up to be, would they have my hair, his eyes...I think about all of it. The abortion was the worst thing I have ever done and I dont know how to deal with it and start healing. My husband is effected by it too and has deep feelings about it and its really putting a strain on us. Can anyone help us?? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: A recent abortion is ruining my life... Author: Kris [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:24:50 09/28/07 Fri Dear Ashleigh, It's really good that you have posted here - I want to encourage you to also check out this site and post there too: http://www.safehavenministries.com/ It's a little more active than this site. Please know you are not alone in this - many women (and men) have the same feelings after an abortion & it's important that you find a way to heal. Any loss we experience can cause us grief. Grief is something we tend to brush off quickly in our society (IMHO). We do not allow ourselves to grieve, and even though it's not always pleasant, it's an important function in our emotional well being. It's critical to not get stuck in grief - there are ways to work through it and deal with it in a healthy manner. You can do your own search on grief - you can look at this site some too: http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html I think it's really important to also turn to God in tough times - so if you haven't already tried that, please do. A good SOLID REAL church is an important part to your good overall health. Start with a small prayer and look up a church near you and go. Hugs, Kris