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This board is for women who are suffering after an abortion, and want a place to express their pain and get support for healing.
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Post Abortion Help and Healing
|Subject: Can't really talk to anyone|
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Date Posted: 15:04:21 04/23/09 Thu
This is the first time I am actually telling someone how I feel. Please bear with me if this comes out jumbled.
Last year I had an abortion.
My parents are very religious, I also have a daughter from a previous relationship that I am raising on my own. They weren't happy about that pregnancy because I wasn't married and had no intentions of being with the father(he was a summer fling that I was already done with by the time I found out I was pregnant). They got over it and they love my daughter so much. But honestly, I don't think I've ever really done anything that they have been proud of. Don't get me wrong, they are good people and they love me.
Last May I found out I was pregnant. The father was one of my very good friends and we were just starting to have a real relationship at this time. I didn't want to be the only one to make this decision because #1 I just couldn't go through raising another one alone and #2 this wasn't just something that was going to affect just my life.
He wanted the abortion. I couldn't put my parents through another "disappointment". I told my Aunt and she even said to get the abortion. The father also made another good point-"Do you want to have 2 kids with 2 different Fathers? What if we don't work out? What will that be like?". He made a good point.
I cried as soon as we got to Planned Parenthood. I asked him if he was sure. He said he was. I cried the whole time we got there. I even saw my baby on the ultrasound. I almost couldn't even swallow the first pill they gave me. I also cried the whole way home. The next day My boyfriend had to go to work for a while and I took the pills alone. I was in the bathroom for 2 minutes and felt it come out. All I could do was look at this blob that was the child I aborted. Most days that moment is all I can think about. I think about it every day. What my life would be like right now. I just held a friends little boy that would be the same age that my baby would be at this point. Since that moment a week ago, All I can feel is a worsening pain that I thought was just starting to subside. Its 10 times worse now! I feel so much resentment, guilt, remorse, and sadness.
It felt good to say that to people who understand.
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|Subject: My Terrible Mistake|
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Date Posted: 00:03:10 03/07/09 Sat
My name is Amanda and I am 29 years old. I never really thought about having children one way or the other. I have always just thought that because I have never gotten pregnant because I never did. Not until a month or so ago. I have been with the man that I am seeing for almost 2 years and we have never used protection. Then it happened. I got pregnant and I really didnt know how to feel about it. I cant realy go into grerat detail about the circimstances nut we decided to have an abortion and the appointment was scheduled 5 days after I found out I was pregnant. I was fine during the whole procedure but a couple days afterward I started feeling so empty, and am still currently experiencing the worst depression I have ever dealt with. I guess I didnt realize until it was too late that I wanted that baby and all I can think about is that I made a mistake and I want it back. My first child, a child I never evn thought i would have is gone at my own hands. I asm looking for any kind of help at all in dealing with this, so please, if anyone reads this that can help or relate, please respond. This is something that i am feeling incredibly guilty and regretful about, and i really dont know how to deal with this. i dont know if i can ever forgive myself for what ive done and will think about that child every day for the rest of my life
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