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Subject: I need help for my sister. Author: Me [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 02:10:56 11/05/07 Mon She had an abortion about 18 years ago. She was only 16 at the time. She confided in me and we didn't tell our parents ... until she had a breakdown some months later and they found out. Now all these years later grown up, responsible and in a happy marriage her and her partner are trying to have a family. Two years ago she lost a baby at 19 weeks and now she is finally pregnant again ... now 15 weeks. Since my sister's abortion she has pretty much suffered from depression. Perhaps she always would have even without the abortion. I guess we will never know. In this pregnancy the depression is worse than ever. She has spent the past four weeks in a psychiatric hospital where they took her off her current medication and changed it to one more suitable for a pregnant/breastfeeding woman. That seems to have made her worse. She has spent the whole pregnancy crying. Not just crying but sobbing. Full on sobbing the whole time. It's scary talking to her on the phone ... she lives four hours away. Although she hasn't threatened to do so (at least that I've heard) I'm frightened she is going to harm herself and her baby). I'm sure she is now finally really grieving for her aborted baby and understanding even moreso just how precious new life is. But I'm scared its all going to be too much for her. She is unable to work, unable to do anything. It's hard being so far away from her. She doesn't have a wonderful relationship with my mum and dad so even though they are aware of what's going on and they are desperately worried and unhappy for her she wants her own space from them. She talks to them on the phone but they live 6 hours away so having them with her would mean they would have to stay with her and that is too close! What can I do for my sister? I'm thinking that her problem could be that perhaps she doesn't think she is going to be a good mum and she is scared. I'm going to visit her in a couple of weeks and I want to say these things for her. She is a wonderful person and she deserves a happy and fullfilling life. I'm worried she thinks God doesn't want her to have a baby or that she doesn't deserve a baby or perhaps even as I mentioned above she won't be a good mother and she is almost trying to kill her baby. What is going through her mind? What can I do to help my poor sister? Advice please? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: I need help for my sister. Author: Kris [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 20:01:02 11/08/07 Thu Dear Me, The only REAL thing you can do is pray for her. Pray for her to find peace, to be able to forgive herself and to heal emotionally, mentally and physically. It's good that you want to help her, but if she's in a psychiatric hospital four hours away, your hands are really tied. Be supportive, calling her is good - so she knows you care and love her. Honestly, I have seen prayer do amazing things. If you have a church, ask them to all pray and talk to your pastor/priest about it. That's the best advice I have to offer. Kris

[> [> Subject: Re: I need help for my sister. Author: Me [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:46:54 11/13/07 Tue Thank you both so much for your kind replies. My sister has come home from hospital but is desperately sad and I fear for her life. Her husband is home with her and I'm going to visit this weekend. It's so depressing just for me to talk to her. Constant sobbing is heart breaking! I try to call her every day so it's nice that you both think thats good. I'm wondering what to do with her when I'm there ... thinking getting out of the house could be good? Movies, a walk in the park, shopping for a bit of a wish list for their baby ... now both my sister and her husband both have to be home money is extremely tight which of course adds to the pressure. My sister is 17 weeks pregnant this week.

[> [> Subject: Re: I need help for my sister. Author: Kris [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:00:07 11/15/07 Thu Getting out of the house is always a good thing (IMHO). With Thanksgiving coming up, it may also be good to volunteer at a soup kitchen - or a church function that is doing some sort of outreach for folks in need. It's sometimes very good to see that you aren't the only one in need of something. Kris

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I need help for my sister. Author: Pat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:34:23 11/17/07 Sat Kris, I don't know what's wrong with voy, but it just plain won't let me post to me. Please pass this on to her. Let your sister lead the way. Make suggestions of things you can do, and let her decide. Give her lots of hugs. It is so good she will be with you! Have her check with her doctor to make sure that any medical needs are taken care of. Me, please keep in touch. You are all in our prayers.