Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 13:24:47 06/24/06 Sat
Hi, Christy,
I am so glad you came!
They never tell a woman what it will be like. They lead you down the primrose path, and then you're stuck with the consequences.
Your boyfriend probably can't understand what you are going through. He never had the physical experience of being pregnant, and no matter how hard he tries, he will never know what that is like. He may also be hurting, but if he is, he probably won't talk about it because grown men don't talk about such things, you know. On the other hand, he may not care. You probably won't figure out which, either. He may be trying to drown his feelings in his video games. He sounds pretty immature to me. It is really common for abortion to do grave damage to a relationship, but they never tell you about that, either.
I don't know where you stand on the question of religion, but it's something I need to talk about, especially since you are so very depressed. None of us is worthy. We have all done grave harm. Cry out of the depths of your soul to God. Read the Bible, particularly the Psalms. I want to tell you about David, who wrote some of the Psalms. He had done great evil but yet God forgave him. Some of what he writes is about this experience. One time, he coveted another man's wife, so he sent the man into battle so he would be killed and David could have his wife. But God forgave him for that. And then there was Paul. Paul killed Christians. But God reached out to him, and changed him, and he became an apostle. I owe my faith to his preaching. If God can and will forgive those people, He will also forgive you. You already have the first ingredient of healing: you are sorry for what you did. Also, you need to recognize that you are not totally to blame for what you did. Other people coerced you, as well as the situation itself. Don't take the blame for their part in it.
Forgiving yourself is very hard, but it can be done. Ask God for forgiveness, and for Him to heal you emotionally and spiritually. If you trust His promises, you know that He has paid for what you have done. It is finished, and all you have to do is go to Him. Healing is possible, and it does take time, and part of it is recognizing that because God has forgiven you, you must forgive yourself, else you call God a liar. But you are human, and it takes time. When you go to therapy, make sure that the person who is working with you understands the spiritual dimension of the situation. If there is no evidence of understanding that your problem stems from this action you took, then find someone else. There are a lot of people who do not understand. If you need to find someone else, go to a crisis pregnancy agency. They are trained to help with this specific problem, and many of the women have been through what you are going through, so they do understand. I have been through some of it myself, and I know how it affected me. It wasn't pretty. But you CAN heal.
I will be here for a couple of days, and then not for awhile, but there are other people here who will reach out to you. We love you, and we will be praying for you. You are a human being made in the image of God. He paid an infinite price for you. You don't feel worthy now, and none of us are, but since God wanted to love us that bad, we can live for Him. And therein lies hope.
May He comfort and bless you, and show you the way.
Hugs,
Pat
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Feedback: 
Re: Does time always heal?
Sherrie, please email me