This Pain Wont Go Away -- Post Abortion Healing Support

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Subject:

This Pain Wont Go Away

Author:
Crissy

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Date Posted: 21:38:24 11/08/06 Wed

I'm 23yrs old and had an abortion 2yrs ago this coming Feburary. My baby would have been around 1 this past September. I think about what I did all the time, I cry to myself and think about whether or not the decision I made was right. I'm still with the father of the baby but I feel like I cant talk to him or anyone about it. He is an amazing person but he just doesn't completely understand what I went through. I almost feel like it was a relief to him since he will never understand what I went through and what I still go through to this day. I cant completely blame him bc how better to understand something then to experience it - and physically, mentally, and emotionally men cannot understand as much as women. I know that I was only 21 when I got pregnant and me and him were only together for 7mnths, and there was no way we could financially and maturely support this baby. Now I look back and feel like somehow I could have made it work. I've seen people worse off and they're doing it. I guess I just try to rationalize whether I was right or wrong. Emotionally me and my bf are close, sexually we're not. I cant get myself to be intimate with him anymore and I think the abortion is a part of it.

When I found this website I felt almost relieved that women were going through the same feelings that I am and are able to express it. I praise all of you for being able to speak from your heart and share your stories - somehow you've given me the courage to do the same today. On the other hand it makes me think about it more and more but I guess no matter what, the pain will never really go away. How do you all cope with this?

I know my baby is in heaven right now and I hope he/she understands why I did what I did. Until I can fully forgive myself for having the abportion..I hope my baby can forgive me as well.

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[> Subject: Re: This Pain Wont Go Away

Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 07:52:02 11/09/06 Thu

Dear Crissy,

Thank you for posting. It takes courage to do that and it's a healthy thing to express your emotions in a healthy way. Everyone copes a little differently with traumas in life. It's good you are looing for the way you need to find. There are some other websites I'd like to encourage you to go to.

http://www.optionline.org/afterabortionhelp.html

also:

http://www.safehavenministries.com/

It is important that you continue to work through the emotional scars and gain understanding about it all. Burying your feelings will only put them away temporarily. (I think most men are taught to do just that).

Peace,
Kris

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