Create a New Forum Admin Login Member Login Contribute to Voyager Search VoyForums Help Desk VoyForums Exchange VoyForums Directory/Categories VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4] ]

Subject: lost Author: DRM (sadness) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 03:45:47 12/11/06 Mon I had an abortion on Deceber 5, 2006. This would have been my 8 year wedding aniversary has i stayed married and my ex husband hadn't died so the whole day was one filled with immense sadness. After telling my boyfried of 10 months about the pregnancy he asked me what I wanted to do...this was his way of saying he didn't want the baby. He told me how he didn't have any money, no home and was going to loose his job. He went on and on about how his priority was his 3 year old daughter and i had to be crazy to even think of having another child (Ihave 2 already). I reluctently made the appointment at which i found out i was carring twins. I told him hoping this would change his mind but instead he just browbeat me more reiterating his circumstances and tell me that he was not going to be around to help me throughout the pregnancy. I have a medical condition that would have made it impossible to maintain a pregnancy and 2 other children on my own. I had the abortion and since then have been having nighmares and an unbearable sense of gilt and shame. I HATE my boyfried for forcing me to do this, we are not kids. He is 49 and I am 33 this should have never been done, I shuld have never done it. I dont know what to do now. I can no longer even look at my boyfriend and i said some horrible things to him because i am so angry with myself for letting him bully me into an abortion. I cannt sleep, i have nightmares about the abortion, i remember the feeling of having my twins torn from my body, i HATE myself and dont know how to move on. All is do is cry now, I am overwhelmed with saddness and loss. I am having problems parenting the two kids I have due to the sadness and guilt. There is no joy or happiness in me anymore and I dont think there ever will be again. Letting my boyfriend bully and scare me into an abortion is by far one of the worst decisions have ever made. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: lost Author: ARP [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:43:21 12/11/06 Mon I am so sorry for your loss. You will feel great sadness for the next few weeks because your loss is so recent. If possible search out a support group for your grief. It is important that your grieve this loss which will take time. Grieving an abortion is harder than most losses because of the shame and stigma we feel. Also, most people do not understand the great loss that goes along with an abortion. You will not have people coming up to you saying "I am so sorry, what can I do to help" and many times that is what we need. Since this help is not always available you must seek out the support you need on your own. Tommorow, December 12, will be fourteen years since my abortion and it has taken me many years to move forward and forgive myself. I do not recall it everyday but many days I do remember. Find a speical way to remember your children and with faith and time you will be able to cherish the life you have. I will keep you in my prays.