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Tuesday, April 21, 8:50:19 [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, [10] ]

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Date Posted: 03:08:58 08/20/03 Wed
Author: John Scott
Subject: Life's little moments

I beleive we have all had them, but they sure are fun to laugh about. You know those moments when you feel two inches tall?

When I was about sixteen I saw a lady in church whom I had not seen for awhile. I had heard she was expecting, and saw her belly. So wanting to act like a "proper adult" I greeted her and asked when she was due.
She stared at me, then said the baby was in the nursery! OOPS! I felt pretty tiny, except my mouth with both feet in it. ;)

There was another time when I was in the military. I worked out regular about an hour to an hour and a half daily. But it was all anerobic (heavy weights) so I went to the gym to try and do something for my cardiovascular system. I found a lifecycle on the corner of the indoor track and jumped right on. The track was sloped in the corners so I was elevated and had a good view. There happened to be an attractive lady running around the track. After about 45 minutes I decide I should see if I could meet her, so as she is coming towards me I dismount the life cycle and step onto the track. Having never before been on a lifecycle I should not have started with such a strenuous program, I found out when, as I stepped onto the track, my legs got wobbley and I lost my footing. Both feet went up into the air higher than my head and I landed flat on my back.
Well the lady saw all this and came to ask if I was okay.
But to my dismay I was laughing so hard at how I must have looked that I could not even answer.
She left, probably thinking I was nuttier than a fruitcake, and I really couldn't move. I was laughing the best laugh I had had in years.
I still giggle when I think about that one!

Do have a moment to share?

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Replies:

[> ROFL, JS. Oh ya....I have one >>>> -- Brenda, 12:20:40 08/20/03 Wed

I was in the first week of my first year at university. I had finally worked up enough courage to venture into the Arts Lounge where all the "really artsy" people hung out. (I was still trying to determine whether I was "really artsy" or not). I found a spot on a couch, pulled out my book of 17th century prose, and proceeded to do my best to look like I fit in. Well, I guess a sat there a wee bit too long because, when I went to stand up to get to my next class. It became apparent that my entire left leg had fallen asleep. How did it become apparent, you ask? I tried to take a step, my leg gave out, and I crashed down onto the coffee table. Needless to say...I decided I wasn't "really artsy", just really clumsy.

The other one I can remember happened when my mom was trying to explain what confession was to my younger brother. She was trying to tell him what penance was, how the priest would give her something to do to make up for her sins. My dad (a non-Catholic) replied, "It's kind of like having to do push ups". Well, off we go to the church, Mom does her confession, comes out of the confessional and my brother yells (as only 5 year olds can do)from the back of the church, "How many push ups did he give you, Mom!?


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[> hehehe Wish I was there to see that. *wink* I'm straining my brain to recall any similar incidents... I'll have to come back when I think of something -- Lissa, 20:02:53 08/20/03 Wed


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[> Well, in my ehem, middle age, I'm becoming more & more of a clutz (who would ever have guessed I used to teach ballet!). A couple years ago I had bought a new, really pretty bird feeder to feed my finches and cardinals in the yard. I came home from work the first day it was up and saw 2 squirrels devouring all the seed. So yelling and waving my arms wildly at them, I ran from my car and up our 3 steps on the sidewalk, tripped on the long skirt I was wearing and promptly fell on my face skinning both knees in the process. You guessed it! There were 3 different neighbors out doing yard work and they all saw me fall. So I gathered up my skirts and promptly bowed deeply for them! -- Lori the Graceful (NOT!), 21:17:11 08/20/03 Wed


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[> Other than messing up my white blouse at inappropriate moments and such, I donīt remember a stituation like that. Maybe I am good at repressing, and a messy eater?*lol* -- Martina, 08:33:01 08/21/03 Thu


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[> Oh, I remember something along the embarrassing lines: When I met JSīs mother the first time in Canada, she showed me family photos. There was one of her when she married, and she looked like Liz Tayler or something, gorgeous! I said something like "wow, how pretty you were", and she said "Yeah, what happened, eh?" Now I can laugh about it, but then I felt so stupid! Hahahaha! Good thing the woman has humor! -- Martina, 08:39:10 08/21/03 Thu


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[> oh oh I have one! LOL When I first met the hubby I was having my nails done, acrylic tips put on. You know the kind that are *supposed* to last two weeks? Well, the night we met he asked me to dance and as we were dancing one of my nails came off into his hand. He looked at it and then handed it to me and said.....This is yours I think. LMAO!!! I shrugged it off and kept on dancing but inside I was really embarrassed, I still laugh about it when I think of it. -- Linda, 17:19:55 08/21/03 Thu


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[> [> Bwhahahaha! What if you would have answered "no, is it yours?" hahahaha. But hey, he was being a real gentleman! I think JS would have said something like "you are falling apart on me already"?*lol* -- Martina, 14:25:28 08/22/03 Fri


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[> [> [> bwahahahhaa, yes, I can practically hear JS saying that!!!!!! ROFL.. he's as charming as Horst sometimes! hehehhee -- Antje, 05:44:43 08/23/03 Sat


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[> I found this on the LOL joke board. Itīs funny! In case you havenīt seen it ... >>>> -- Martina, 04:53:34 08/27/03 Wed

Ever wish you could take back something you just said or that you
could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob?
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." Colleen Collins, 31, -- Ferndale, MI

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned,
and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told
her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw
you kissing Daddy's (?) last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson, Stafford, Virginia

5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the
intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB
OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" Diane E. Amov

6. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have
an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his
pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!

7. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....
a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's
that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too because they were laughing so hard.


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