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Date Posted: Thu, Apr 15 2004, 2:03:10
Author: MKIceman
Subject: Re: Previous Post
In reply to: Long Time Lurker 's message, "Re: Previous Post" on Thu, Apr 15 2004, 1:41:00

>And yes, "sucking up" does mean what you think it
>means. But if I were to say, "Matt, you are so fine I
>want to do you right here on the coffee table," and
>someone else accuses me of sucking up, then we could
>both be insulted. Is the third person not hinting that
>you are not fine at all? That the compliments given
>are not justified and therefore false?

I agree that offense could be taken by me in that scenario (even though it was specifically directed at you), but such offense would be an attack on my ego, and, if I were truly offended, I would respond to the fineness point (i.e., "What, I'm not fine enough?").

The fact Heywood took offense is, as I explained above, a result of a bruised ego (i.e., "What, I'm not worth worshipping?"), which is what Ilse and I were discussing beforehand (hence my wild amusement). The extent of such ego-bruising, however, was manifest by the severity of Heywood's response. He not only overlooked the fineness point completely (or failed to state it, anyway), but he made the leap that "sucking up" equates "statutory rape." And despite several clarifications by me AND Ilse, he refused to believe it, and continued to take the quote out of context.

The issue here isn't just whether or not he should have had a bruised ego, for I don't think any of us can or should justify being worth worship. The issue is primarily how he dealt with that bruised ego.

>I'm way over-explaining here, I'm sure and it probably
>wasn't any of my business anyway. Too much left over
>Easter candy.

Not at all. Elaborating perfectly, and if it wasn't your business, it wouldn't have been posted on this forum. :) Heywood could have, at any time, e-mailed me for clarification. He could even have e-mailed Ilse. But he didn't. So the board gets stuck with the wangst.

--Matt

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