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Date Posted: Fri, Nov 07 2003, 20:33:34
Author: Shy Lurker of the ominous looks
Subject: You asked for it!
In reply to: ohsolurid 's message, "It's the "Create Your Own Badfic Opening Line" Game!" on Thu, Nov 06 2003, 18:13:37

LOTR:
Under the spidery trees of the darkened forest that once had worn the proud name of Greenwood the Great, a battered but still ethereally beautiful blonde Elf staggered along the way that led away from the castle of the King. He knew he had but little choice to reach the safe haven of his lover's valley on her own, not without a horse or supplies, even less in his current state. A state which enraged his haughty, royal father so much that Thranduil lowered himself to beating up his son with his very hand - one soft, tear-streaked cheek still wore the imprint of the King's richly-adorned rings - and then banning him from Mirkwood for becoming the catamite of his father's greatest enemy.

Pulling the shreds of his cloak protectively around his swollen belly, Legolas Greenleaf heroically continued the hopeless task to reach the Last Homely House on foot, during winter.

*pardon me for a moment; I need to step out and puke*

Okay, now on with Voyager:

Tom lay quietly sobbing in Chakotay's strong, protective arms, still not believing his incredible luck. That after all that abuse he had to go through - first by the hard, loveless hand of his father, then by the inmates in prison, who couldn't resist his flawless beauty - it was so very sweet to be loved, perhaps for the first time in his whole life. Even if they had to hide their newfound love from the vengeful women who still held them in their clutches. Torres was bad enough, as she would broke their neck in a fit of murderous Klingon temper, but Janeway was a lot worse. If they wanted to stay alive, they had to keep hiding.

*I think I'll stop here. Not even in a parody can I endure any more of this sort of stuff.*

Actually, I wanted to give you some Angel badness as well, but I doubt that I could top what the recent season has given us in canon.

SL

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