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Date Posted: 11:00:14 02/06/02 Wed
Author: Laurel Goldleaf
Subject: An awakening
In reply to: Saras 's message, "Starting Again" on 11:01:38 02/05/02 Tue

Laurel was having difficulty meeting Erlic’s gaze as she shifted uncomfortably on the rock. He seemed determined to go his own way on this issue, even telling her that she ought not to worry. That’s right, she thought dully, Tell your pretty little friend not to worry and promise that you’ll take care of everything. She didn’t know why his response irritated her so much, but it did.

She wanted to tell herself to stop being petty, but couldn’t. This happened a lot between her and Erlic. Cases where she would make a point, and he would negate it, with clear, concise reasoning, too. Laurel didn’t like always being wrong. Erlic rarely discussed such things with her; when he was willing to open his mouth, he merely flattered her, as if she were a lady of the court to be wooed into submission.

But no, it wasn’t like that! He was very nice to her, she knew that. He treated her like a person, not like an object, like the other suitors had. What he didn’t treat her like was—

“An equal,” she breathed, very softly. A friend. Erlic didn’t see her as a friend; he saw her as a woman. That wasn’t to say that he considered women beneath men, he just saw a very distinct line between them. This was why he had trouble speaking to her. No wonder he hadn’t tried to discuss the current situation with Tegol Denair with her. He was probably thinking about finding Ravin to do exactly that at this very minute!

Almost painfully, she recalled the recent feel of his mouth pressed against hers. She loved it. Her body loved his scent, his touch, his longing glances—but her mind said no. They weren’t meant for each other like that. Laurel didn’t know why she’d tried to fool herself into thinking she could finally find a friend and perhaps future lover all in the same person. Lovers appreciated her body, and she theirs. She understood this and was happy when such an opportunity came along. But friends saw only her mind, her personality, who she was.

“Well, as I said,” she finally said, finding it difficult to speak, “It is your decision, and I won’t go behind you and tell them myself.” He seemed surprised, but whether it was because he thought she had intended to tell them, or was just startled out of his reverie remained unclear. Both would prove, nevertheless, that he wasn’t truly listening to her—or rather, he was listening, but not…digesting. Horribly vulgar way of putting it, but it was all that would come to mind right now.

“So you are right. There is nothing to worry about,” she added, putting emphasis on the word. No need to worry about the silly woman who couldn’t possibly understand the seriousness of the situation. She shook her head, annoyed by her sensitivity. “I leave you to your thoughts, Erlic. I’m going swimming.”

She got up and moved slowly toward the pond, feeling the light desert breezes nipping playfully at her wavy red hair. Swimming was a good idea, and she didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of it earlier. Preferably alone, with no one to bother her; no stubborn Erlic, who only saw a woman; no handsome Ravin, whom she knew was keeping Isobel company right now; no annoying Rowan, who was still annoying despite his attempts to make her life easier.

Like a molting swan, she shucked off her outer garments and walked leisurely into the pond, the waters parting before her slim legs as if commanded to do so. Little fishes swam happily about her toes, and other lake creatures, turtles and snakes and such, paddled joyfully around her, making her smile as she gazed fondly down at them.

She swam for a long time, making the length of the pond, getting to know it and all its murky denizens. Eventually, she pulled herself up to the far shore and lay down on a rock, closing her eyes against the bright sunlight. She wasn’t worried about the possibility of another assassin attack; she simply asked the birds and small desert forest creatures to keep a look out for her while she drifted off into a light, comforting sleep.

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Replies:

  • Shave but no haircut -- Argus, 12:44:19 02/06/02 Wed
  • What's for dinner? -- Ravin, 15:36:11 02/06/02 Wed
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