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Date Posted: 09:56:26 01/02/02 Wed
Author: Marz
Subject: About ready to move on

Embarrassment kept Marz from looking directly at Tristan, but that changed when he was reprimanded for it. He brought his eyes to his lover's face and quietly listened to what he had to say.

When Tristan said he was sorry for making him cry, Marz frowned. He saw no need for such an apology because his lover had nothing to do with the tears he had shed. Being stuck underground with the walls closing in on him was the cause of the terror that had made him react like an idiot.

"It's okay to cry, you know," Tristan told him. "Doesn't make you any less stronger. In fact, I think it even makes you more strong, because……well, that's just how I feel about you, that's all."

Marz gave the dragon a blank look. It was totally incomprehensible to him to be able to cry without being belittled and punished for it. How many times had Sistino told him that shedding tears was an unacceptable display of weakness? Now, the person he loved most in the world was telling him that crying made him stronger! To say that Marz felt confused would be putting it mildly. At present, he was completely baffled!

For years, he had hidden his emotions behind an impenetrable wall he had erected around himself because he feared the repercussions he would get for revealing his feelings. Keeping everything inside turned him into a bit of a mindless zombie, accepting everything Sistino told him and following his orders without question. As a child, he moved through life in a mental haze, believing that torture was simply a natural part of everyday life. There was no one around to tell him any differently. His entire world consisted of only one person: Sistino. It was impossible for a six year old to realize he was being brainwashed by a sick, sadistic fool. Even now, the beliefs his stepfather imposed upon him were hard to shake.

Marz wanted to believe Tristan when he said it was all right to cry, but a big part of him refused to accept that the dragon really meant what he said. Perhaps his lover was trying to confuse him like Sistino often did, by saying something was acceptable, only to punish him for it later. If that were the case, Tristan would go into a fit of rage the next time he shed a tear.

"I just want you to know I still look up to you, that's all," his lover said, giving him a warm smile.

Fighting through the confusion he felt, Marz finally managed to return the smile. He could afford to be happy right now since Tristan hadn't gotten angry about his cowardly actions this time. When he was pulled to his feet, he squeezed Tristan's hand then released it, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before they made their way outside.

"I can't remember why the hell I gave it to Corum," he said, when the dragon asked him about the communication mirror. "It was stupid of me to give it away." He shook his head when Tristan suggested letting Corum keep the item. "No way! It's mine, and I want it back now. I paid for those mirrors so if you don't want yours, return it to me. Don't you dare give it to someone else."

Without waiting for a response, Marz strode over to Corum. "I want my communication mirror back now." He ignored the surprised look on his friend's face and went right on talking. "I also expect you to replace my invisibility cape that got destroyed because of you. Once we get to a city, you can buy me a new one or hire a mage to enchant a regular cape, but I want it replaced as soon as possible!"

He turned to find Tristan standing beside him and frowned when he realized the dragon was wearing one of his shirts. "That's mine," he said, pointing at the dark red garment. "Stop stealing my clothes. Wear your own drab shit from now on, Tris!"

Marz had no idea that any chakra he meditated on would leave him with negative effects until he managed to close it. The first chakra dealt with material things and the ability to become one with the world. Focusing on the charka had left him feeling greedy and very possessive. The sounds of nature were also amplified immensely now due to his delving into the first chakra. Because Marz wasn't aware of that, he didn't realize that the buzzing in his head was actually the activity he heard going on in a beehive located over two hundred yards away. He simply attributed the noise to the after affects of his earlier crying, which also left him with a headache.

"I think its almost time to get underway," he said when he saw Ravin beckoning everyone to gather together.

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