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Date Posted: 19:06:41 07/25/10 Sun
Author: 
debikm
Subject: More along the lines of discovery but... Rayne's back! 1896 words
In reply to:
debikm
's message, "Lost and Found" on 08:52:29 07/24/10 Sat
This is from my revision of the ending chapters of Rayne's story, the Fantasy Story That Never Ends. Kaelian and Keresh are dear friends, Keresh claims her as a sister, for those unfamiliar with my saga ;-).
The battle mentioned in the homework about things lost mortally wounded Rayne's love Garoben. As a healer, she knew better than to try and heal someone as exhausted as she was, but her heart wouldn't let her give up. She nearly died several times, saved only by magical intervention and the sharing of life-force from all her friends. Now recovering, she's lost, bereft and nearly hopeless without Garoben.
*****************
A day later Rayne was restless in the extreme. Her every breath was observed, no doubt searching for signs of relapse. She was starting to feel the chains around her wrists again with the confinement. Even the endless supply of books from the Duke's extensive library had begun to dull.
She waited until after the morning entourage left with the breakfast tray and pushed the blankets back, unwilling to admit, even to herself, how tiring that simple act was to her now. She caught her breath, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed to the floor. Another rest and she reached for the chair that always sat there. Dragging it closer, she braced her hands on it, leaned forward and pushed herself to her feet. A wave of dizziness washed over her but she waited it out with as much patience as she could. Her head cleared and she straightened slowly, her joints and spine all crackling with the effort. The pops released some tension in her long-idle muscles and she took an experimental step, dragging the chair with her for support. Her goal was a tall mirror by the washroom door. It was about halfway across the room but she was determined to make it.
The depth and breadth of her weakness shocked her. It was only now dawning on her how much of herself she had poured into trying to save Garoben. She had done what all healers were warned never to do; never were you to deplete your own life-force for a healing. A healer’s strength and energy were ripe for the taking, but that central core, the furnace that kept the body alive, that was off-limits.
There were stories of healers that had tried what she had done and died, or worse, had become living husks, mind and soul fled but the body still hanging on, until, unable to feed or care for itself, the body too gave up. Rayne had nearly put out her own fires in the attempt to rekindle the spark that burned in Garoben. All in vain. Sorrow rose, closing her throat and stinging her eyes, but she clenched her jaw, biting her tongue. The pain and taste of blood in her mouth reminded her that she still lived, despite the empty place at her side that she had been certain Garoben would fill for years to come.
The mirror loomed before her; she placed her chair-crutch to the side to give herself an unimpeded view of her body in the glass. The short nightshirt hung on her like a sack; her face was hollow and her wrists and ankles looked skeletal. Her skin, always fair, was translucent; she felt sure if the light were to hit her just right, she would be able to see the bones silhouetted beneath. Her hair hung lank and rumpled and, when she turned her head, she was astonished to see that the white lock at her left brow was twice as wide as it had been.
Letting go of the chair, after a pause to ensure her balance remained, she pulled the tunic up and off to assess the rest of her body. Her ribs and collarbones were prominent and her hipbones were easily seen, tenting the skin over them slightly. But oddly, her breasts were still rounded and her belly, while concave just below the ribs, jutted in a gentle swell between her hipbones. The strong morning sunlight lit her and threw a shadow of the bump across her right side. She held onto the chair again with one hand while the other traced the rise of belly and breast. She moved closer to the mirror; under the pale skin of her breasts she could see the fine blue tracery of veins, more prominent than usual. The nipples were darker and fuller; when she touched one she gasped at how sensitive they were. Her hand moved further down to cup the budding in her belly and she was brought up short by that image. Bud. The small, tightly closed bud she’d seen as she stood before the Veil talking to Angus when she was close to death. He’d seen it too, and told her the choice was hers to make, go back or join them; live or die. But he had helped her make that decision by not encouraging her to cross the Veil to her family. He’d known she had a new family here, even if she didn’t know it herself. All the signs and symptoms of pregnancy had been there for her to see, but she had ignored them, her mind too full of other business that needed tending.
Her mind followed a trail of memory and she thought of the Beltane fire and her and Garoben’s long night beside it, celebrating the fertility of the fields and earth, joining earth and sky over and over again. Her courses had not come again since then, but she had written it off to the stress and worry about the upcoming confrontation.
Conceived on Beltane, her birthday, it was a good beginning for a little one. Children conceived at Beltane were children of the God and Goddess Themselves. Rayne closed both hands protectively over the little bump of a belly. I helped force You into a body; now You choose one for Yourself?
New tears flowed down her face, but these were of wonder.
She’d long ago decided that children were not for her; an unstable life on the run didn’t lend itself well to the raising of children. She had become pregnant while in Runeham, when she and Logan had been close, but she’d miscarried and nearly bled to death. The incident had frightened her; in her fear of conceiving and losing another child she had closed herself to Logan and their relationship had faltered soon after. She was content in those circumstances to remain childless. Time had passed and so had her opportunity, or so she thought. But now, everything was different. She was free from her past; with Fox dead, this time for sure, she no longer had that burden on her shoulders. She was made welcome here at Larken as long as she wanted, after all, she was, in a convoluted fashion, Arduval’s niece. It all painted a secure picture for her future. But her past pregnancy leaped to the front of her mind. Just a week ago, so ready to die and join Garoben; now she was afraid. A little part of him still lived within her, Rayne wanted to see it through, to meet that person they had made. But the idea of how close to death she had come hit her hard; she gave a little gasp and made her unsteady way into the chair to sit, cradling the almost invisible life in her belly. Fear of losing this baby made her heart hammer and she felt faint. She leaned forward and let her head dangle, folding around the unborn child like an oyster protects its pearl, shielding it from harm. She didn’t hear the door open behind her through the blood roaring through her ears but she felt a warm hand on her bare back.
“Raynie?”
She lifted her tear-streaked face to see Kaelian bent over her. She stood abruptly, turning to him. The motion was too sudden; she felt the room spin and the light dimmed. He called out, she heard the door open and rushing footsteps. She was picked up and deposited back in bed without ceremony.
Her head still swam but she was able to hear through the buzzing and the dark fog began to lift. Keresh was bent over her, lifting her eyelids with one hand while the other lay at her throat, to feel her pulse or throttle her if she moved, she wasn’t sure which. His gaze was fierce and livid. He thumbed her other eyelid back and she was able to roll her eyes back down from where they threatened to bury themselves in the back of her skull and look at him. She turned her head away from his hand and muttered, “I’m okay.”
Keresh muttered back, grumbling angry words in his native tongue as he drew the sheet up over her bare body. She tried to sit up again but another set of hands from the other side of the bed prevented her moving. Kaelian sat there, his hands on her shoulders, pressing her into the mattress. She twitched in his grasp, irritated and looked back at Keresh.
“If you’re going to swear at me, at least do it where I can understand.”
He switched languages in midsentence without missing a beat, all the while gathering pouches and bowls scattered about her bedside. “—stubborn, pigheaded, single-minded, selfish bitch!”
Her brows drew together in anger, her emotions changing gears so abruptly that it surprised her, though she only found one of his admonitions objectionable. “Selfish?!”
Keresh dropped the mess into a heap on a nearby table and turned to her swiftly, as much the warrior now as she had ever seen him during battle. His dark eyes flickered a warning.
“Yes, selfish! We lost you over and over—you were dead! And now, instead of healing and taking care of yourself and resting, which you need badly, you’re up and around the room with no one at all to catch you when you fall. Because fall you will. You’re so weak and thin I can almost see through you and to the child you carry.”
Anger drained away and was replaced by shock. “You knew?”
Keresh snorted and shook his head. “Of course I knew. Don’t be stupid.” She felt the grip on her shoulders loosen and Kaelian smiled.
“Why else would you have such a ‘nervous stomach’? All the times you couldn’t eat, then were suddenly ravenous in the wee hours?”
“You too?” Rayne was amazed. Everyone around her apparently knew more than she had herself. She sighed, getting a grip on her panic. “Did anyone think to tell me?”
Keresh smiled. “You knew; you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself yet. Just like Runeham.”
At mention of that time, she paled. Keresh leaned down in concern and she met his eyes, stricken. He had been with her through that dark time as well. “I remember what happened. I’m so afraid that it’ll happen again.” Her eyes welled, emotions careening wildly. “Maybe that would be best. What am I going to do alone with a baby?” She fought the surging tide of tears.
“Don’t say that!” Kaelian admonished. Rayne was drawn into his arms whether she wanted to be or not and he held her. “You won’t be alone.”
Another crack in her heart was smoothed and began to scab over, trying to repair itself. She gave in, letting the fear and grief well up and out again. A warm hand stroked her head and she turned to see Keresh sitting beside her on the bed. His gaze was steady and calming. Kaelian kissed her forehead and loosened his grip; Keresh’s arms slid around her as Kaelian’s had, holding her in support and love.
“I will be there, as long as you want me.”
Words failed her; she was reduced to nodding and burying her face in his chest, feeling the warmth of him soothe her frozen heart.
Last edited by author: Sun July 25, 2010 19:09:02
Edited 1 time.
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Oh! Oh! OH! >>> -- Page, 23:55:10 07/30/10 Fri
A baby!!! Rayne's going to have Garoben's baby! OMG, I so freakin' love that!
That moment when she finally lets herself know what's been going on with her body is so wonderful! Thank heavens she dragged that chair over to the mirror with her.
And I really like how everyone already knew she was pregnant and never said anything. When DD announced her first pregnancy, her grandmother and aunt both said, "I knew you were."
After all Rayne's been through, it's so great to have her realize her enemy is truly dead and gone, she has a wonderful place she can stay and raise her child, the best friends to help her, and that there's a piece of Garoben left in the world.
I love it!!
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Thank you! -- debikm, 12:07:11 07/31/10 Sat
>A baby!!! Rayne's going to have Garoben's baby! OMG,
>I so freakin' love that!
It was happening one way or another, but now that Garoben's dead, it that much sweeter that Rayne has a bit of him still. Funny, when I wrote the end the first time and Garoben had lived, the child born was a son. When I decided to continue to torture Rayne with misery, the baby became a girl. Dunno why...
>
>That moment when she finally lets herself know what's
>been going on with her body is so wonderful! Thank
>heavens she dragged that chair over to the mirror with
>her.
>
>And I really like how everyone already knew she was
>pregnant and never said anything. When DD announced
>her first pregnancy, her grandmother and aunt both
>said, "I knew you were."
I think Keresh's swearing at her was my favorite. ANd that 'selfish' was the only part of it she found offensive to her...
>
>After all Rayne's been through, it's so great to have
>her realize her enemy is truly dead and gone, she has
>a wonderful place she can stay and raise her child,
>the best friends to help her, and that there's a piece
>of Garoben left in the world.
I think the reworking of the end is going to happen soon and I'll post as I go. Duke Arduval helps her so much, almost taking a fatherly role, despite their past differences.
>
>I love it!!
Thanks! I want to finish this story so badly, btu there's so much to tell... it may never happen.
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