VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Saturday, May 16, 12:00:42pm [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 22:32:47 01/25/04 Sun
Author: lynece
Subject: DH and I too made the decision for me to stay home
In reply to: Heather S. 's message, "I made it through the week" on 20:00:28 01/24/04 Sat

before we were married, and that is why I do feel guilty. I have been blessed and no one has ever said anything to me, plus teaching is one of those jobs that it seems OK for women to have. I never planned on working full time again or at least until the kids were in school full time as well. I do know it was the answer to our situation. Without my salary I'm not sure what we would do and I'm very grateful to have a job that I really enjoy and am good at.

I think it is the Utah mentality. I have not noticed it in other areas of the country and even the world, like I do here. It is a real double standard here. And every lesson you get about how women should be at home just makes it harder.

I don't always think I'll feel this bad about it, especially when I feel better and as time goes on. But having to work when you don't want to, but have to is just hard all around.

L.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> I'm glad your week went so well....m -- Jo, 16:55:17 01/27/04 Tue

Sam's 1st 2 days at daycare have gone wonderfully!

For the record, DH and I had made a decision for me to remain home when the kids were very young...which for the most part, I have. I have worked, but always around their schedules (delivering babies, daycare, etc).

For this job, I asked the Lord if it was OK, then to make it work out. And it has. Sam is in a licenced LDS daycare, he is thriving with the activities of children closer to his own age (he has Down syndrome, so it is a big deal) and for now, my job is temporary. Whenever I have had the urge to work, nothing has worked out...so when all of this did, it encouraged me to realize that the time was now right.

Not every family has the ability to have only one income and be able to raise a family. Yes, we've sacrificed a lot to raise our large family - I wouldn't trade it, but frankly, I am looking forward to a little more breathing room financially.

Do I feel guilty? Not one bit anymore - and for those who spout about the church saying mothers are to remain home, it isn't something I listen to. What the Lord has in store for me and mine isn't what might be in the works for another family...it isn't something that I look at any other family and set a judgement by.

Jo


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> I'm glad it went so well. m -- Jenifer, 16:05:55 01/28/04 Wed

I hope it continues to go well for you and Sam.

I just wanted to say that I was NOT judging mothers who had to work. I was not "spouting" anything to make anyone feel guilty, but reiterating that the Church understands different families have different circumstances. I am sorry if my post came across differently.

I'm also well aware that many women never planned to work and that, as with all of life, plans change. I have nothing but admiration for any woman who is trying to juggle job and home, because I feel I fail miserably, at times, with just home.

Hope that comes across better than my last post.

Jenifer,
Mother to six earth angels and seven angels in Heaven.
Our newest angel left us Dec. 5, 2003.
We miss you Anna Marie!


[ Edit | View ]


[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-7
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.