Take a deep breath... -- NSYNC Skeedettes

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Date Posted: 00:06:24 09/15/01 Sat
Author: Silver
Subject: Take a deep breath...

and SCREAM!!

Gotta let it all out, man. It's all too much.

From the start, from seeing the plane crash into the tower the first time, I've been glued to the TV whenever I'm home. Half of me is hoping for some miracle, and the other half is afraid of another disaster.

My sister just turned off the TV and said, "Enough. No more. We need to stop. Or it'll drive us crazy." They're basically saying the same thing over and over, but I just feel like I *have* to watch, to stay connected, to be a part of this surreal situation. She's right though. Enough is enough.

My eyes watered many, many times while watching the news but the one that really hit home for me was when they showed England's Guards play our national anthem. The tears just spilled in an outburst of emotion. The music, the gesture, the moment -- it was so touching. And in my subconscience, I knew this was real. All too real.

And I think that was why I let myself cry that moment. Before then, I was still in disbelief. I'm not sure whether it was because I couldn't, or wouldn't, accept it. But I'm forced to face it now and it's hard.

Life seems so normal on this side of the coast, in my city, in my neighborhood. If I didn't watch TV, read the news, I might not have noticed the difference. The streets do seem a little quieter, but is that my imagination? The shoulders of the people I meet seem a little heavier, but is it really different from any other days?

I feel ridiculous about thinking about my homework assignments, worrying about tests and quizzes, seeing my teacher about a question I have -- they all seem so trivial, but yet, it's the trivial things, the everyday things, that is keeping me going, keeping me sane.

I am hurt, I am grieved, but I WILL NOT let the terrorists take away my sense of humor, my smiles, my laughter, my love, my life. And I hope you won't let them either.

May we all hold hands with Hope, achieve Peace in prayers, and sleep every night with Serenity.

I love you all very much. *HUGS*

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