How ta Cure a Screamin' Dibbun (trust me, I know how) and Caurs for Boredom. -- Remedies

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Subject: How ta Cure a Screamin' Dibbun (trust me, I know how) and Caurs for Boredom.

Author:
Windong of the Naughty Knot

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Date Posted: 20:55:11 01/27/05 Thu

Okee doke, first of all, if the Dibbun is screaming and you're an elder, dat means you're a bad person and should be punished. Ok? here we go!

1) Tell the screaming Dibbun that you've been naughty and that the Dibbun gets to spank you 100000 times.
2) Offer the Dibbun all the yummy food in da world ifin's they stop.
3) Allow them to force feed you nettle broth and to pour kindersib oil all over your fur! (GUARANTEED TO WORK!)
4) Give 'em alla candied chestnutters dey wants. (GUARANTEED TO WORK!)
5) Tell them no more baths.
6) Give 'em the Sword of Martin the Warrior to play wit.
7) Give them the Sword or Martin the Warrior and tell 'em that they're the Abbey Warrior.
Now fa all the other stuff.
How to Cure Boredom *grins evilly*
1) Find your way into the human world
2) Amaze people with your talking
3) Let me adopt you!!!!!!!
4) Find Redwall again and bring me.
5) Annoy a certain Badger Lord of Salamandastron and watch him get all BloodWrathy at you and get some poor, evil vermin to try and fight him, then watch as the Badger Lord throws them down a mountain.
6) Um, get Ma Mellus mad at ya and then hide behind a chair and whisper like a dead beast that she hadn't taken enough care of you and that you drowned in the pond and watch her go insane then roll yourself in flour and appear to Ma Mellus. Then say you was neva dead and run for ya life!
7) Go kill vermin wit Martin da Warrior's Sword.
8) Get Dibbun-napped by vermin and escape.

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