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Date Posted: 17:25:14 10/28/05 Fri
Author: Sunshine
Subject: I have rewatched the scene
In reply to: Sophist 's message, "To me, the first question is...." on 13:15:16 10/28/05 Fri

No, he did say Riley was "the one". Here's what he said:

"Xander: Yeah. I think you mean convenient. I think you took it for granted that he was gonna show up when you wanted him to, and take off when you didn't.
***
Xander: But you miss the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy. When he's the one that comes along once in a lifetime. (Buffy looks dismayed) He's never held back with you. He's risked everything. And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums?"

I think you really have cherry picked your quotes. Yes, Xander did say that (and I agree that Buffy did shut down and was treating Riley like the convenient rebound guy but that is a different discussion). The last thing Xander said in the scene was:

“If he’s not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn’t there, let him go. Break his heart and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy – I’m talking scary, messy no-emotions-barred need, if you’re ready for that then think about what you’re about to lose”
Buffy begins to cry and says “Xander”
Xander replies “Run”

This is really what I was saying all along. He doesn’t really demand that she consider Riley the guy, he says “If he is the guy” then consider what you are doing. Break the circle of attack – counter attack, look into your heart, and, even if it’s not fair, do something to stop Riley from leaving. IMO, for years, Xander has tried to sabotage Buffy’s relationship because he wants her (I hesitate to use the term love because I am not sure that he really knows what love is). I really don’t think that ever changes, I think he wants her up to and including Chosen. But here, he is trying to help Buffy. I think Buffy’s attitude in AYW in season 6 indicates that Buffy did have genuine feelings for Riley and wished that things had not gone as they did.

As far as his statement to Anya, it seems to me that Xander is absolutely sincere. I really don’t know on what basis you dispute his sincerity. There is absolutely nothing that I see that would lead one to believe that he wasn’t affected by Buffy’s situation, seeing Buffy and Riley about to split up over, at least in part, a failure to communicate and that he is determined not to let that happen with Anya. Of course, as we latter learn, that is exactly what does happen but you cannot assume that he lacks sincerity just because it ends badly.

I really think your anti-Xander attitude has made you over-reach in this instance. I think he could have been a little softer and maybe a bit less aggressive but I gave him credit for this scene because I was so used to him behaving badly with respect to Buffy (and Willow and Anya and Spike), that when he sincerely tries, I recognize the effort.

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