The Copy-Cat Conspiracy. Part 6 -- The Beta Board

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Date Posted: 15:16:29 06/18/02 Tue
Author: Deedra
Subject: The Copy-Cat Conspiracy. Part 6
In reply to: Deedra 's message, "Need a Beta Reader.... The Copy-Cat Conspiracy." on 13:23:45 06/13/02 Thu

Part 6

Nikita enters her apartment and locks the door behind her. She goes to the refrigerator and drinks from the milk carton. The milk is sour, and Nikita spits it in the sink then pores the rest of the carton upside down into the sink as well. Then washes out her mouth with water from the tap. Wiping her mouth with her forearm, she heads for her bedroom. She grabs a few things, puts them in a small carry on luggage bag then fills a large bag, and then heads out the door. As she shuts her front door, she hears,

"Popsicle!"

She stops, turns around to face Mick Schtoppel and surprisingly Marco O'Brian. Mick and Marco are blocking Nikita's egress. Nikita looks down, cocks her head to the side then she looks up at both of them with a glare,

"Stand aside boys!" Nikita looks directly at Marco who should be dead.

"Wait! Nikita, We need to talk with you."

Mick and Marco put there hands up to stop her.

Nikita stops and snorts, "I don't have time for this boys."

"Popsicle just hear us out." Mick pleads.

Nikita attemps a second advance, "I don't think so!"

Mick and Marco grapple her and they struggle. Marco stuns her and as she slowly falls to the floor, Mick and Marco catch her then carry her back into the apartment placing her limp body gently on the sofa. Marco makes a phone call while securing Nikita. Retrieving Nikita's luggage from the corridor, Mick looks around nervously then shuts the front door.

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[> [> Comments on 6 and 7 combined (r) -- Nestra, 19:53:31 06/20/02 Thu

Nikita spits it in the sink then pores the rest of the carton

pours

Then she washes out her mouth with water from the tap.

She grabs a few things, puts them in a small carry on luggage bag

carry-on

Mick and Marco are blocking Nikita's egress.

Egress is a pretty specific term. I doubt Nikita thinks of every exit and departure as an egress.

Nikita looks down, cocks her head to the side

What is she looking at?

"Stand aside comma boys!" Nikita looks directly at Marco who should be dead.

Why? O'Brien didn't die until after Operations and Madeline, and both of them are alive and well in this story. Also, if Nikita thought he was dead, why wasn't she more surprised to see him?

"Wait! Nikita, We need to talk with you."

"Wait, Nikita. We need to talk with you."

Mick and Marco put there hands up to stop her.

their

Nikita stops and snorts, "I don't have time for this comma boys."

"Popsicle comma just hear us out comma" Mick pleads.

Mick and Marco grapple her

Either they grab her or they grapple with her, and grapple means struggle.

Marco makes a phone call while securing Nikita.

Securing how? How can he do both at once?

'Michael, where is Nikita? Shouts Operations.

"Michael, where is Nikita?" shouts Operations.

"I'm not sure. A couple of hours ago, I found who I thought could be a cloned Nikita coming out of the elevator shaft and put her in containment, "replied Michael.

This is no explanation for how Michael lost her.

Then turns to his terminal to make sure their coming.

Then he turns to his terminal to make sure they're coming.

"Paul," Operations turns to face Madeline,

This makes it sound like Operations was speaking and just called himself Paul.

"To expedite our agenda,

What? What does that mean? (and I don't mean that I need definitions of the words. I mean that the phrase doesn't make any sense.)

we need to access the terminalson level 29.

terminals on

Because someone has formatted my pc,

1) He'd probably say "computer".
2) When did this happen? We never saw this.

we have little choice but to chance the lower levels which are governed by the Ersatz Alliance.

The clones, which were supposedly under Section's control until now, had time to form a government?

Davenport's directory of clone is there which will arrest this exigency.

I'm sorry, I have no idea what this means.

Operations begins to introduce the operatives, "Alpha team will be Michael, Grant, who specializes in hacking.
Jake and Heath, whose specialties are sniper and assassin. Kira, who specializes in Cryogenicsfrom the lower level. Denise, who is a chief assistant strategist to Madeline."

You need to separate a list like this with either commas or semicolons.

Denise will stay here and work with Birkoff if Nikita shows up. "

What does Denise working with Birkoff have to do with Nikita?

Michael interjects, "Nikita didn't answer her phone period"

Operations continues, "The objective, for now, is to obtain Davenport's directory from the PC. You have your orders."

How will a directory help them stop these clones?

with Michael and the new special task force in tow.

After Walter distributes weapons, Michael and his special task team are seen descending at the elevator shaft.

Are seen by who?

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[> [> [> Re: Comments on 6 and 7 combined (r) -Thanks -- Deedra, 07:50:14 06/24/02 Mon

Many thanks.
God bless,
Deedra

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