[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1234 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 18:10:59 04/16/05 Sat
Author: Diane
Subject: Chapter 5 - Read this one intead, please
In reply to: Diane 's message, "Okay - Chapter 5" on 18:06:15 04/16/05 Sat

Michael waited until Adam had finished half of his Pepsi and polished off an entire bowl of honey-roasted peanuts before he attempted to continue the conversation. He was a bit concerned that all of this unaccustomed sugar might make Adam wired, but anything would be preferable to the lethargy that had filled his previous days.

“Ready, Adam?” Michael prodded.

Adam put on his ‘I’m-about-to-get-a-shot’ face and took Michael’s hand.

“The other Super-cops hid me so well that I didn’t even know Mommy had died, and that you were alone. I came to get you then, but you had moved.”

Adam nodded, remembering.

“My Super-cop friends were looking for you, but some bad guys found out who I was, and they wanted to find you, too.” Adam’s eyes grew huge. Things were finally starting to make sense.

“You were playing in a park, with your car. The car rolled into a parking garage.” Adam shut his eyes. Clearly, he remembered this part vividly. Michael continued in a soft, steady voice, stroking Adam’s hand reassuringly. “The Super-cops and the bad guys found you at the same time. They both called to you, but they were both strangers, so you stayed where you were. That was the right thing to do, Adam.” Adam opened his eyes and looked at his father, who seemed very sad. “But the bad guys beat the Super-cops that time, and they took you away where I couldn’t find you.”

“A Super-cop got shot,” recalled Adam, seeing Operations lying on the cement in a pool of blood.

“Yes, he did,” confirmed Michael, not denying what Adam clearly remembered.

“What the bad guys really wanted was the boss of all the Super-cops. They said they would give you back if I would give the boss to them.”

“You traded the boss?” Adam asked skeptically. Even at six, he knew something was wrong here. You don’t just give up your teammates that easily, especially the team captain.

“This is the most important part Adam. I really need you to listen carefully because it involves you, me, Nikita, and the boss of the Super-cops, and the reason we had to leave Europe.” Michael didn’t know how much more of this Adam could take. He had to wrap things up quickly.

“We tricked the bad guys,” Michael went on. “The boss was old, and tired, and very, very sick,” he improvised. “He told Nikita that if she would be the new boss, he would trade himself for you, and you and I could get away from the bad guys for good.” He made sure Adam was following him. He was. “When you and the old man crossed the bridge together, he wasn’t the boss anymore. He wasn’t even a Super-cop! We fooled them!”

Adam’s eyes lit up. “And you were alive again, and I ran and ran, and you hugged me!” He climbed from his seat and jumped joyously into Michael’s arms. “We fooled them all!” he shouted with glee.

Michael sighed in relief. Apparently, Adam was never aware of the assassination of Mr. Jones by the Collective. One less thing to deal with.

“And now you can marry Nikita and we can live happily ever after,” Adam said in a sing-song voice, smiling up at Michael while holding his father’s face cupped in his hands.

Michael wrapped his much larger hands around his son’s small ones. “That’s the sad part, Adam. Nikita can’t come live with us. She’s the boss of the Super-cops now. She has to stay there.”

Adam was dismayed. “For how long?”

“Probably forever.” Michael heard his own voice break, and he ducked his head so his son wouldn’t see the moisture forming in his eyes. When his voice was steady again, he looked down at his son, who held his trembling bottom lip between his teeth, tears silently coursing down his cheeks. Again, so much like Nikita.

“Nikita made a promise, Adam. She promised to be the boss, and she has to do that in Europe.”

“Then why can’t we stay with her?” Adam persisted.

“Because the bad guys still want me. They know they got tricked. They won’t know where to find me if we live in Canada.”

Adam thought this through. “Can we visit her?” he asked, hope waning. “Can she visit us?”

Michael buried his face in Adam’s hair. “I’m afraid not, son.”

Adam was silent for several moments. Suddenly he blurted out “That sucks!!”

Michael’s head whipped up and a chuckle burst out. “Where did you pick that up?”

“At school.”

“Well, drop it before you start at your new school. Which reminds me. We have a whole lot of things to memorize before we get to Montreal.”

“What kind of things?”

Just then, there was announcement made that the ferry from Nova Scotia had reached Bar Harbor, Maine. All non-US and non–Canadian passengers needed to have their passports ready.

“Daddy, I need my passport!” Adam cried anxiously, quite sure he hadn’t seen it in his carry-on bag.

“No you don’t, Adam. You’re Canadian. Here’s your birth certificate. Hold on to it.”

Adam perused the document. “But that’s not my name,” he protested in confusion.

Michael automatically went into mission mode. “It is now, and you were born in Montreal. Don’t speak unless one of the customs officers asks you anything, and then act like you don’t speak English. Only speak French.”

Panic was written all over Adam’s face. Michael sighed and remembered that he was a father, not a Cold Op, and he had put Adam through entirely too much already for one night.

“Here,” he said, removing the document from Adam’s sticky fingers. He picked Adam up and slung him over his shoulder. “Close your eyes and stay fast asleep, no matter what you see or hear, until I tell you it’s okay. All right?”

“Oui, Papa.”

Michael walked over to the chain link fence where a row of customs officers separated him from his car and the United States. He was planning to drive south along the coast, then through northern New England before crossing the border again in New York. It would give him a chance to bond with Adam again, while practicing for their roles as Michel and Adam Samuelson.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]


[> [> [> Re: Chapter 5 - Read this one intead, please -- Shanola, 18:28:39 04/20/05 Wed

Okay, I still have issues with the fact that Michael is being so open with a six year old, son or not. Obviously, you are holding firm to that scene and unwilling to change the basic premise.

We shall have to agree to disagree on this.

I think I need to read a few more chapters before I can comment further. I need to see more of the story structure. I'm not sure where you are going with this and I think I need to.

If that's a problem, let me know and I'll back away and let someone else beta for you. =P

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> [> Re: Chapter 5 - Read this one intead, please -- Diane, 18:48:48 04/22/05 Fri

I know you don't like it, but it means a lot to me. I did some major rewrites to both chapters 3 and 5 (mostly 5); cutting a lot out and trying to let Adam lead some of the conversation. Is Ch 3 at least a bit more palatable than it was?
I'll post the next four chapters. BTW, I *loathe* ch 6, but I don't how to fix it. It sucks, so feel free to slice and dice.:)

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> [> [> Okay. Please give me a few days, as the weekends are rather busy for me. -- Shanola, 07:22:11 04/23/05 Sat

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.