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Date Posted: 14:05:50 06/11/06 Sun
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 68-187-173-005.dhcp.hckr.nc.charter.com / 68.187.173.5
Subject: Re: More drama
In reply to: Liz 's message, "More drama" on 10:34:46 06/11/06 Sun

I know how you feel. I've always felt that I had to be perfect and never complain too. But then how do we explain these guys who are with women who rule the roost? Dennis lives with a woman who tells him what to do, when to do it and how to do it and the shock of it all is that he does it. I was always afraid if I didn't do everything right he'd dump me and he did anyway. I wouldn't have ever believed he'd let a woman boss him like that. And when he doesn't do to suit her, let me tell you the shit hits the fan big time!

I think sometimes that the more we try to please them the more they take us for granted. Take Gary for instance. When I was wanting to spend time with him to get to know him and see if there was anything there, he didn't have time. He wouldn't give up anything to spend time with me and it hurt my feelings. He totally took for granted that I'd still be there. When I lost interest he started trying and now I can't seem to shake him. It's like the meaner I am and the more pissed off I get, the harder he tries. What's with that? When we're trying and when we're always there for them when they want us, they don't have to try so hard. But when they think we might not put up with anymore and we might go away, then they try. Why can't both people try at the same time??? It seems that would make more sense.

I'd feel the same way you feel. He was gone for 10 days but he can't take a Sunday off to spend with you. Yet in 2 weeks he's taking a Sunday off to play ball. Which is more important to him? Having a good relationship or playing ball? You shouldn't always be the one making allowances because if you are it will only get worse if you move in together or get married. If you do all the giving in, you'll never get what YOU need and you'll always feel insecure.

I don't really understand why men act the way they do and I know they say they don't understand us either. I know they aren't all the same but I do seem to get involved with similar types. I'm at a point now where even though I would like to be in a relationship with someone I love, it's always been me who's given in, waited around for them to have time for me and walked on eggshells to keep from making them mad. And even though I did those things the relationships still went bad because eventually I got tired of not getting my needs met in return. So, unless I can find someone who's willing to meet me halfway, I guess I'll be alone because my needs are just as important as theirs are and I've finally realized that.

I know you love him but he really does need to think about what Liz needs or what would make Liz happy once in a while. It can't all be about him all the time.

I hope you can figure out a way to get him to see that.

Take care,
Sandy

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