| Subject: Re: Just need to vent |
Author:
lara
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Date Posted: 12:43:09 09/26/04 Sun
In reply to:
Courtney
's message, "Just need to vent" on 11:14:38 09/26/04 Sun
Courtney,
Are you talking to anyone–a good psychologist, an informed nutritionist, someone you trust? Listen, I cannot stand the way I feel when I've eaten either. I hate it when I can feel the food inside me–my stomach seems to blow up–but I realize that a lot of what I am feeling is ana. In other words, even if you don't eat you still won't feel comfortable in your own skin! Eating disorders are not about the food, you know that. And not eating is really not going to help you. You may think it will, but it won't. It will just make you sick, I know...
If you think about it, having an ED is kind of like being an alcoholic. Alcohol numbs the pain for an alcoholic just like not eating numbs the pain for the anorexic. But the pain is still there and your trapped feeling like a failure, hurting, and not knowing why... None of us chose to have an ED; somehow we all developed them, and they are horrible friends that stab you in the back repeatedly! Because it is not about the food, and EDs only twist reality to make you think it is: EDs are about something in your past, the way you feel about yourself, obsessions and distortions, "perfection" and the feeling of "not being good enough," a lack of self and a pain that you are desperately trying to "fix" with food but may not even recognize. I hope you find someone that you can confide in, because these feelings aren't going to just go away, even if you don't eat. Try to remember that an ED is just the symptom of underlying problems...
take care,
lara
>Ok so I am so stuck. I was so happy when school was
>starting because you know I won't have anyone watching
>to see if I eat or purge. But then the double ended
>sword, if i don't eat I get dizzy and fall down. I am
>stuck and my mom is a teacher at school so i just
>don't know what to do. I mean I can't stand the was it
>feels when I eat. Like I am this discustiong thing. I
>hate it. What do i do does anyone have any idea. I am
>taking vitames everyday but still nothing.
>Lost,
>Courtney
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