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Date Posted: 17:29:07 04/07/01 Sat
Author: Hobbes
Subject: Fools' Gold

I'm an idiot to complain about anything,
but i knew that already.
It just hurts to see my twisted looks
mirrored in the eyes of a four year old with cancer.

But im way beyond taking things for granted by now.
Im cut too deep to feel any scars on the surface,
so its not as hard as it was to look away.

And in my new found audacity
i question anything, everything,
until im void of feeling,
and stripped of emotion.
And in the end
im still left without answers.

I guess it all depends on the day,
or the weather.
It feels good to be mad sometimes
It feels good to be stupid sometimes
It feels good to laugh, scream, run away,
and regret...
sometimes

I guess that makes me a massochistic hedonist
enjoying the pleasure of the pain...
but not always.
I could never be a full-time anything
only in pieces
scattered all over every aspect of every personality trait that could be imagained



Its weird to read myself
i guess i say i guess too much
and of course im getting off of the subject
that i didnt create in the first place

A part of me recognizes that i am not considering something,
that there is a million things that i have not thought of
a part of me doesn't care
a part of me realizes that if i didnt care, i wouldnt have took the time to say it
but im used to lying by now
a part of me is pushing
a part of me is pulling
so "i guess" i should know why i feel so stretched
a part of me needs to end this damn stanza already...

there are just too many damn parts to me.

Anyway, (another one of my 'i guess words')
uhm,
so anyway...
i saw fools gold staring me in the face from a magazine article
the damn page might as well have pointed at me
i swear to God
that God is a writer
or a magician
with a jacked up since of humor
and he wont leave me alone

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