>
By me for you (always)
Time needed for that you wouldnt give
That must be it-
The answer to all the things we couldnt
Get right.
[fake laugh]
I shook off the last of the blames yesterday
And cleaned my forehead of the name you
Gave me so soon.
You know me better than that.
I erased the time right out of my mind:
Pencil I was sure to right it in, that second
time around.
So go back-1 year and 5 months please.
I loved it like thatjust a person I walked
By.
You walked by
Then
And even
FASTER
now.
Quick hello we both hate to utter,
It doesnt mean what it says
Well for me anyway-
You say hi.
And I cry out for you to hold me.
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Replies:
Crimson Rendevous -- Crysta, 00:44:29 03/31/02 Sun
Another match lit,
And there I went hiding,
Playing peekaboo from behind the smoke.
Your fresh smile was so endearing,
Your bright blue eyes so enchanting,
But that telephone
With the generic clang
Plummeted me with fists.
I watched your shoulderblades shift
In stressfilled spasms.
I wanted to touch you,
Nurse you with my hands,
Be pure for you,
Be naked,
Colorless,
But with each step closer
Your tension held me furter,
And the distance seared.
I must have turned black and blue.
Such a face you wear,
Charming young man,
Holding so many hearts in your hands.
Crooked confidence in a self-absorbed skin,
I long to strip you naked
And put you in the cold, baby boy,
Break you down to bits
Like ashes in a compost pile.
You'll grow up eventually, but
Black lungs,
Die young,
Luck will run...
And my heart will stain
Red on your hands.
I love you.
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Replies:
Rambling. Purpose: Irritation -- k, 16:55:38 04/07/02 Sun
Two halves that never come together. Opposing forces. Emptiness on one side, full on the other, and a wall inbetween.
Pathetic attempts to break down.
I can sit here and tell you that I spent hours hitting my head against the walls and cutting myself with knives and safety pins.
But it's just words.
No feelings are shared, sympathies are forced and therefore phony. No one else can fix my problem.
My two sides
Seperated.
Faces on the inside
Sticking their tounges out at eachother
Like children fighting on a playground.
I hurt myself on the playground,
Way back when
All I needed was the cloud in front of my eyes,
Natural idealism of childhood.
I can sit here and tell you that I hate myself,
I hate my life, and I'd like to put an end to it all.
I'm too scared, though.
Scared of losing, of being lost.
But I hate myself, and I hate my life.
Two sides.
Empty and full.
Halves that just don't match.
I don't know where to go from here.
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Replies:
When Departing... -- confused, 02:52:27 04/06/02 Sat
If we must part,
Then let's part with gentle words;
Words like
"Thank you for the good times"
or
"Have a good life."
For in so doing,
We not only protect
The precious memories we've shared,
But we also leave the door open
Should our circumstances ever change.
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... -- confused, 02:37:44 04/06/02 Sat
it's a delicate situation
when two people come together
and one needs a friend
while the other needs a lover
and unless they have the wisdom
to communicate with eachother
one will have no friend
the other will have no lover
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Fade to Black -- Crysta, 17:24:51 04/01/02 Mon
Let's all just clear our heads
And let it fade to black.
I found a new disease
And I'm never going back.
Lampshades cloud my view
And fog strolls in for show.
Blood sun cries tears of joy
When night assumes the status quo.
I dreamed of plenty trees
With brown leaves turning black.
Crooked jargon brings
Knives into my back.
Cracked lips wash fingernails
And youth watches the sores grow.
Ash waits for them all
And wind is ready to blow.
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drownding reality in excess -- knight, 20:40:17 03/24/02 Sun
filling my lungs with gas
to burn the last breath that thought of u best
igniteing the trail that lead my thoughts to you
to find a road that burns just for you
passing on the blind curve to find the love
and thinking of you is never enough
but remebering hurts like a punch with a glove
ill continue to rip my heart out when i think of what we had
and tell my self you were just a fad
to follow the blood back on the trail of thoughts
remembering for you my inside rots
... next time i think of you i will do 2 more shots
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from nothing, something responds -- Hobbes, 13:23:44 03/11/02 Mon
So it's empty in here.
That's ok i guess.
Empty was always a good place to start anyway.
It's so empty in here.
I guess that's not ok.
Empty always says anyway.
So Anyway...
I'm parted by the time again
the time before and after
and still to come
I'm patient though it seems
because i'm still waiting
for myself apparently
and the reminders that i should never forget
the ones i said would bring me back
to those dark little places
where i am the only one
surrounded by a world of circus clowns
are fading
as i put on my make up
and juggle with the rest
The numbing thoughts come of course...
but so do the memories of you, and her, and them...
It's so empty in here.
So how are you
I'm keeping warm... enough anyway
empty always says anyway
from the start the circle spins
goes around
and soon will end
i start and stop and spin again
never progress
it never ends
i've been here before
i know it
i've said this before
i know it
i've lost too much
but never had
i've gained so much
what the fuck
what in the fuck do i have
.
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Replies:
a journal entry from 03-03-02 -- confused, 20:50:32 03/20/02 Wed
run little girl.
run.
that is how He likes it;
because you cannot hide.
He will find you.
hide over here,
over there,
in the sea,
in the air.
He will find you.
run across the street,
over the sidewalk,
around the corner,
down the block.
He will find you.
race up those stairs,
through that door,
down the hall,
and on the floor,
He will find you.
change your name,
your identity,
your residence;
plastic surgery.
He will find you.
a life of running is a life lived in fear.
and a life lived in fear is a life half-lived.
Fear will find you where ever you go.
defeat Him before He defeats You.
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broadcasted love affair -- saira, 22:11:17 03/12/02 Tue
broadcasted love affair
alright...
heres a question for that wrong-me-not face of yours
if you really pretended to care,
for that year,
then please,
do tell...
how the darn did i get so crazy?
i do pride myself on judgment.
or i did.
and maybe my intense need for apathy is just natural progression.
after all,
i haveta get tired at some point.
right?
right.
so,
mr maybe-next-year,
in all seriousness,
im not sure if i should take you seriously.
did i ever tell you that its a terrible bore to talk serious?
with you anyway, when every statement leads to a rolling of the eyes
[always marked by a paradeand-a-half, if you ask me]
sometimes i feel like im talking to a book
damn that antagonist.
i laugh out loud at myself especially when signs of you pass and i miss to recognize them as fate licking my paper cut fingers that you used to kiss me now.
and you said i lost my sense of idealism
gave into the pragmatic-based-acid-full-world
where prostitutes and hand-shaking shelter me out.
and its a pity, because my eyes always stood wide open and swallowed words by the dozen.
now maybe once in a while i reiterate your words with blinks.
one means yes.
two means yes.
what a nice house we have here dear.
well... lets get that chin raised a little higher
and dont think i didnt see that winkity-wink-wink
and as you walk so fast and slow...
i-just-woke-up-but-not-really-and-now-you-kill-me-with-sighs
heavy breathing was always a difficult sport.
really, in all factuality,
we just exchanged sounds, love.
nice talk radio they have nowadays.
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I like this song -- Poodie, 06:39:14 03/12/02 Tue
I kiss your lips and close my eyes
take you away to paradise
let everybody
see
that
I
love
you
and you love me
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Inferno -- Crysta, 01:12:46 02/28/02 Thu
Caught in the fire
Wings will burn
Screams will be muffled.
A crackling noise,
A pop,
A spark falls to the floor.
it is warm
there
in front of the flames
licking the walls.
Teeth shatter,
Skin falls to the floor,
Ash will be left,
A smoldering, hissing gray.
A strand of hair
licking the walls.
Hands licking the walls.
Dreams falling to the floor.
Tounges dominate,
A smoldering, hissing sound.
Caught in the fire
Moment disappears,
Lives will be muffled.
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Replies:
Screened -- Crysta, 18:52:03 02/28/02 Thu
I haven't seen anything,
Been anywhere.
I've been holed up,
Whimming away my walls,
Believing I've lived.
My space isn't dark enough.
I must create more absence.
Hide for awhile.
I can't use the softer side.
I can't pretend.
I want to let myself drool into stupor,
Crash to the bottom
And stop.
Has it always been such an illusion?
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I'm Found -- Clint, 23:28:54 02/24/02 Sun
In times, in rhymes, in space, Im lost.
In sights, in spites, in faith, Im lost.
In ends, in friends, in strife, Im lost.
In goals, in souls, in life, Im lost.
In downs, in frowns, in pride, Im lost.
In tears, in fears, inside, Im lost.
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missing teeth -- Crysta, 01:00:02 02/21/02 Thu
small
little corners
cradling
hands
matching
in size
don't touch me there
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how i make my rainy days -- saira, 22:21:18 02/19/02 Tue
dont you hate how everything gets forced together,
and well, forget about personal space cos thats just too much to ask for.
the whole emotional deal is played out, if you really want to know.
all we need is an open bed,
preferably still warm.
just the way you like it.
and if you never say goodbye you never really leave and then well,
technically, its all the same.
i hate that.
everyone has the same name if you listen hard enough.
so no penance here,
nothing but putting my feet up on the table that i was supposed to polish.
nobody wants to play the eye-sore,
not even furniture.
then i heard myself ask
"so how's life, and everything else that comes with it"
and i got a screen lighting my face in response.
with every possible achievement muddled into one sentence
i think i'm gonna feel sick.
sometimes reactions are over-rated,
and you won't even try to impress me with anything.
thats crazy and refreshing i suppose,
but well see if that holds true when your face gets raised.
and then ill respond back blank,
which is the best way to go.
lack of response leaves lack of impression.
and if not, you won't know any better.
and words stick out to me,
cos i encode conversations like crazy.
with the bold i find the accusations that you accuse of me.
but if you accuse me too much
i'll have to accuse you of accusing me
and we'll sit with accusations trailing behind and wrapping around
and then where will we be...
its better not to think about things.
if anything is for sure,
then i sure am fooled.
but things might be better today.
my pages sit void of you [and so they are blessed]
but then again, with lack-thereof, the essence is still sitting,
maybe wiping grins all over the place.
and with silence and absence i'm just putting you up in bright neon signs.
nothing is planned to be long,
and i think i'm the lipstick on your collar.
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Hobbes -- The no sex, 04:41:04 02/19/02 Tue
the only riff
o o o o o o o o o o o o o
The
World
Is
a
Hollow Chocolate
ball of candy
there is nothing inside
o o o o o o o o o o o o o
it has become something of a distraction
to think that these little interactions
might do something to make us forget
that we are just band aids on a gun shot wound
what has become less of me
you have taken away the best of me
but i still love you anyway
even though you dim my day
keep me away
from the dark grey day
where retarded kids
on swings can play
so symbolic of how live today
stupid happy
can be okay
push me higher
i want to fall one day
just not
this one
just not
today
and it is something less to fake
less of a mess on an empty plate
so considerate youre so considerate
to help me lie
with this great sex
but
did you consider it
that this is no sex
that this is too much to deny
so do me a favor
and be considerate
and tuck me in when i die
in a bed beside you
o o o o o o o o o o o o o
The world
is
a
Hollow Chocolate
ball of candy
there is nothing inside
o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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Replies:
Mouth full of smoke -- Hobbes, 02:06:37 02/17/02 Sun
So much room is left in these shoes
so much space is left to grow above the ground
why am i wallowing in this soil
::transition smoothly operates by understanding the obsurdity
of your everyday life conversations and relationships not
wanting to care or think of yourself beside yourself or beyond yourself::
something is Caught
Lodged in my throat
something is choking
Drowning me in my own cynisism
Phonetics aesthetics linguistics
semantics have fucked me
facillitated the curiosity
fed a growing hole
and are considerately destroying me
Biology philosophy God's hypocrisy
everything that pulls at me
screams at me
to answer me
Eyes and mouths and ears and noses
pasted to a head right on the brain
every sense
pasted to a head right on the brain
One great day i will open my eyes
and see how beautiful death could be
without questioning what makes this beauty for me
one great day i will sever all ties
and fly beneath and above all these stupid fucking lies
One great day i will swallow this jaded piece of glass
swallow the blood that is cutting at my throat
this knife
this gun
would not justify would not satisfy
destroying the question along with the answer
I will wait with the rest
for the divine
for the indifference
to swallow me back into the ground
but i know
that one great day
something will have to appear
.
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Replies:
evolution -- Crysta, 03:25:19 02/16/02 Sat
Palms spray out and into the ground,
And your rolling on the floor,
Escaping from that egg.
Walk slowly.
Change comes in a matter of centuries.
Let's travel,
Swim today,
Jump tommorrow
From tree to tree.
To the poles,
And I'll grow layers.
But it's not me anymore,
It's everyone
All mixed together.
Individuality is pretended
In a collective unconcious.
Anything but
Beginning
Or
Ending
Just becoming,
Transcending.
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Airless Flight -- Crysta, 02:33:30 02/13/02 Wed
Something simple
To flow in between.
Out from under
The tip of a hat.
A generous hand shake.
And yet there it goes
Faster than ever
So buried and so open
In the cock of an eyebrow,
A nod of the chin.
Fingers cover me,
Blanket my cold
And drip their warmth.
Please don't let it go much further,
Please give me the strength to push it away,
I can't do it now,
Not again.
There's that ambiguity I live for,
That hint in a word,
Wonderment.
Possibility.
I fly,
Scalding my shoulders in the heat of the sun,
While you crawl,
Scraping your nose on the rocky floors.
In between,
In that vast distance between us,
I think...
You think...
Back to back.
I've done my share of searching,
Around your profile,
Centered in my memory,
And I'm ready to wait.
Maybe you'll come to me.
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To get back -- Hobbes, 09:27:54 02/08/02 Fri
In a dust pan
broken glass and
a shattered sandman
collect to acompany what they used to be
neighbors in this dust pan
to this filth and
to this holding hand
chattering about life and what they used to be
Now a step away
I can't describe it
in this "bullshit three ring circus"
I still haven't found away
to cut my strings completely
to cut my string completely
and fall
just fall
away...
away from this
never ending yelling screaming
hopeless pointless meaning beaming
won't you laugh and go away
let me dance on puppet stage
let god toy with me in these bullshit ways
i don't mind or care i can't
but i do
but i do
So why in retrospect
do i did
did i do
i can't understand anymore than you
but i try to ease this pain
of neverending rain
try to stop the pouring
but damn i like this pourinnnnng
raiiiiin
Animosity towards indifference
doesn't make a difference
except to the one who is mad
and i heard that he can't feel
and i heard that hearing isn't real
that i live only as a representation
of what i would have liked to be
but then again what i would have liked to be
is not alive
and i'm not alive
I will find some wings you mother fucker
I will fly to you and scream you mother fucker
Ask you why
What the fuck and why
why do i have to be here
why do i have to be here
eternity
in a place with you
still doesn't answer purpose
yours
or mine
you motherfucker
I'm still yours
I'm still yours
until the end of neverending time
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Replies:
diary of Ever-Eager -- saira, 20:04:15 02/07/02 Thu
without a blink
she said
goodbye dear. i did believe i loved you, y'see.
i just turned my head last night.
and with a small smile,
alls well that ends well.
thus exits Maybe-Tomorrow.
and he buried his face
in the phone.
i love her
he sighed.
as his pestilential-self caved way.
then
reaching under his pillow he pulled out his sunday-night grin.
but i'm free tuesday"
he whispered to Yesterdays Catch.
and over his strands and pores and tissues
he laid out his ego,
set to perform once more.
but another heart beat slipped by
and enters Fall-Out-Girl.
friday sounds good to me.
let the show begin.
he found his confidence,
after all.
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fish tank -- whoelse, 11:01:11 01/30/02 Wed
reach into this mouth
pry these tired words from my throat
thrust your arm deep inside
grab my interpretation
seize this understanding
as i have understood it
Peel these scabs away
watch me bleed
and then hurry to heal
Cut away these unfelt limbs
i no longer need
them to feel
so much so much so much
so much is going on to grasp it touch it taste it hear it seems so wrong
believe to tell it say it preach what the fuck is going on
so insane to pretend to live this way
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Replies:
Atoms and Eves -- Hobbes, 23:42:58 01/25/02 Fri
Free me from this unrestricted
grasp i can't feel your unrestricted
grasp i can't deal with this self conflicted
grasp i can't i won't i want to see what happens
last
:;:;:;:;:;:;
Peace becomes a breath to take
humbled by my ignorant child inside
my lack of consideration
my not wanting to accept
my not wanting to embrace
my involvement
my part
my splash of paint
in this picture
See me from this place that's yours
I will always be
the pool of your eyes
collecting the infection
for you to wipe away
Free from this pointless meaning
A kiss of bliss
Hypocrisy dresses me by the day
and when i cry and say i love
hate and feel
and empathize with my creator
as his friend
as his purpose
i can live within the margin of error
i'll be his friend
i'll be his reason
just show me
just tell me
that you were here alone
unperfect
alone
i will be your art
your splash of paint
in this picture
.
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Replies:
Stupid break-up poem- I hate sap but I had to write -- Crysta, 15:17:55 01/25/02 Fri
There it goes,
Like an utterance under my breath,
And it's gone.
Fading faster than your idea of me,
Our hands have broken
And disappeared among dust in a wind.
Ravaging breezes ripp out the tears
And send wisps of hair into my eyes
Just to torture me.
But it's you who tortures me.
It can't be you anymore.
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Replies:
untitled -- sober, 21:48:00 01/24/02 Thu
[enter. not-so-fragile fragile girl, holding a framed picture. walks to the left, and then to the right].
you always seemed to make me break. and i think i'm tired of it. why, i'm even tired of just hearing you try to make me feel better, by not mentioning what i know is happening. it just makes it worse, you know.
[pacing in and out of love, stops. smiles, then frowns].
you were so good to me, for a minute. and i felt so special,for 3 seconds. but i guess that's all i was worth.
one minute, three seconds. per year. one year. maybe more. yes, more. i mean, when you think about it a year isn't such a great amount of time. all hype. so don't feel terrible of anything. it's not like i was miserable for you the whole time, right? i mean i should have known a little better. a little better.
[walks slowly to the bed and shakes it out with her steady hand].
really. it was so obvious all along. i didn't mean to insult my conscience, i really didn't. i just go astray when it comes to you, sometimes. not my fault. not your fault. it's just the fault that lives outside us, and we kinda get stuck cos of it. but it's never anyones fault.
[walks to the edge, looks out].
ha... well. if you want to know the truth, i'm a wonderful liar. just terrific if you ask me. and all that talk about love, gimme a break. some sort of chemical imbalance, y'know. i read about it somewhere. another one of those deceptions that are so celebrated all the time. nothing real, nothing solid. hell, i could fool myself into thinking i was crazy, i could.
[places picture down].
it's alright. i know it is. don't you worry about me. not saying that you would worry, but if you happen to, then well, don't. i'm sorry, really i am. i can be so difficult sometimes, and i know i've made you had a dreadful time. i forget that it was your year too. maybe not as involved, but still, a year is a year. well, who am i kidding. not you. maybe me, for a minute. and three seconds? it's about time we admitted how awful it's been. we fall off center. it's that easy. and i'm tired of you. tired of thinking about you. i said that, didn't i? well i'll say it again. i'm tired of you! there... that feels better. i'm not upset, not anymore. i just... i just know that you make me worthless.
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Replies:
1001 1100 1010 -- tocktick, 04:54:38 01/18/02 Fri
Today seems like a good day to try again
i suppose
I tried yesterday and the day before
but not today...
not yet atleast.
Recognize
Re... suffix, again
Cognize... cognition,
recognize
I recognize these shapes *before* me
*ambigious*
before... in front of
before... behind, in the past
never clarity... both will be
and always never understood
truth is what's tolerated
accepted, if you will
and you will
if you can make me
and you will
unless i make you
like a social prodigy
you gabble and worry
like frogs, oblivious
justify, deliver meaning
laugh, inaudibly scream... why
together we will melt into this complication
.
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I think it's been 80 years since I posted anything on this board. Here I am. -- ~~Lauren, 18:04:30 01/15/02 Tue
...This Was Never...
y'seem to have forgotten
that I was never your way out.
...that this cloud around you
didn't end with me. you're the one
who's misled
me - all this time.
you got too comfortable
with playing beaten.
this defeated act
has kicked back.
you broke me into thinking
i could be a friend to you.
(with you?)
--going about this all wrong
(all wrong)
(all wrong)
they tell me to be flattered.
i feel cheated. you've misled
me - all this time -
into trusting
simplicity.
and the next time i lay down -
i'll just have to let my feet go cold, it seems
(because this can't be your way)
i can't be someone's last hopeful.
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Replies:
pieces of me / you -- saira, 20:33:14 01/11/02 Fri
[12:55 am]
uncertain perils wanted / given
with our complexions captured under closed eye-lids
for $2.95 per glance,
that is.
love leeks lovely...
well,
i hate you lovely.
you and me scar...
and it's been real real catching the year
together.
bad news comes in 3s and 5s
they say.
so then i searched for the kiss that we all missed
last friday.
[always friday].
but you hide me away
and i'm tired of playing shadow.
.shadow.
please dont be my 3s and 5s.
hey baby,
contradict my doubt
and show me in.
i'll wear a daffodil crown yet.
[12:55 am]
26 and a half seconds celebrate you beautiful.
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Replies:
The Star of a Show -- Crysta, 18:42:33 01/08/02 Tue
The lights turn on, and the curtain is drawn.
There you stand, illuminating.
Grand smiles and wild eyes,
You're moving to an unknown sound,
Unknown to me and to us beyond,
But in you
We see an inner lying reality.
So I watch
Alone,
Oblivious to others avidly starting,
And you pull me closer
To the edge of my seat
Until I can go no further with my body.
That's when I feel you on the inside,
My head and my heart touch you
When nothing else can.
Maybe I'm not alone but I'm the only.
You keep me longing for more, suspending time.
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Replies:
Just trying to write again -- Crysta, 18:45:53 12/31/01 Mon
Sunny days are bleak this time of year,
But it's everyday
I need and I crave
And my insides hurt
To face each morning
In my reflection.
I can't wait for the holidays to be over.
I walk slowly,
Dragging my feet,
Waiting to feel my heart beating.
It does, everyday.
And it's sunny, everyday.
And I miss you, everyday.
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Replies:
Your Ticket -- ADmoralcut, 06:44:39 01/04/02 Fri
Hanging here
from the top of my own desire
watching so much dangle before my eyes
like a confused child
I remember the warmth
from the cold I feel
no regret
i can just feel it gone.
and my skin rises to remember
and my eyes lift the weight to think
that maybe...
just maybe...
I'm closer now.
watching the ones who haven't made it out
such an awe inspiring dillusion
waiting for some one to ask it
waiting for some one to speak
waiting for your ticket to the show
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thursday night update -- saira, 15:56:42 01/04/02 Fri
it's easier to forget when all we pass down are sighs.
and you called to me.
the last hours of the spring of december.
and fumbling fingers hide so much,
those callous sighs leaving me
half through
to you.
i can't tell which beat is mine
or breath is mine.
[but at least this crazy bed is mine]
we'll go waltzing in the dark
[your tune or mine?]
and this symphony will have to end somewhere.
so don't despire me tonight.
analization inside and out,
it's hard to believe your real world.
cos you and i sit blurred
in my rose-tinted vision.
well now...
i guess supernatural abilities aren't the cure.
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What Dies -- piaount, 07:14:35 01/04/02 Fri
the brittle tear of tissue
beneath what dies
is kept alive
even with this silent killer
doing so much
to keep this muscle from forming
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eye dye -- daSdaM, 01:16:08 12/30/01 Sun
What i miss is what i missed
or the thought of it
anyway
No guarentees
that it would have been better...
it would have had to have been better
than today
But i'm not so sure
and i never was
and i'm not so afraid
but only because
solitude will comfort me
just like before
forever perhaps
I'm a student of my survival
my existence
my being
my desires
sometimes the want returns
When i am drunk on dillusion
and i set goals to shield my vulnerability
sometimes just to prove
to myself
that yea...
i can do what you do
and the want returns again
when i pull another under with me
sometimes just to prove
to myself
that i can not live outside of truth
but damn it is so
aesthetically justifying
to play with your lips
or to strum and pic
to paint and write
until the wave crashes down
and suffocates my worries
while drowning my whys
...and sometimes...
I want to miss what i missed with you...
and i do.
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From there to here -- OxyelipticCircle, 05:17:39 12/31/01 Mon
I can't hear anything
except for the lyrics
words that i didn't say but seem to live
im so over fed
so much has been pushed in
so much of what has been forced inside
is falling out
like it is my own
like i put it there
i didn't
From there to here a year ago today
I can't believe how different things have become
Idiot knots
were the only things
that i could use to tie myself to you
but there is no you when people part
wait
there is ONLY YOU
when people fall
apart
Days and Daze have passed or have they
I can't say i don't know
Capturing you in the time that i knew you
relief from the present
i don't know
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Replies:
Sunglasses? Anyone? -- Woc Man, 18:01:08 01/02/02 Wed
Hi! Grab one free?? Cool!
~Woc Man
Enjoy your Holiday!
> Hi,
>
> ** Forward this to your friends before January 15th, 2002 **
>
> One of the world largest Sunglasses company is clearing stock.
> Get a pair of Sexy Metals Sunglasses model 2002 for free
> while stock last. Limited offer on first come first serve only.
> http://track.floppybank.com/click-21899-5051
>
>
>
> Best wishes!
>
> Regards,
> WOC Fan Club
> Interested in free goodies?
> Join my mailing list: woc_mailling@yahoo.com
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
> http://auctions.yahoo.com/
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Free Sunglasses? -- Alex, 05:31:46 01/02/02 Wed
Hi! Grab one free?? Enjoy it ??
~Alex
Have a nice day!
> Hi,
>
> ** Forward this to your friends before January 15th, 2002 **
>
> One of the world largest Sunglasses company is clearing stock.
> Get a pair of Sexy Metals Sunglasses model 2002 for free
> while stock last. Limited offer on first come first serve only.
> http://track.floppybank.com/click-21899-5051
>
>
>
> Best wishes!
>
> Regards,
> Alex Fan Club
> Interested in free goodies?
> Join my mailing list: alex_mailling@yahoo.com
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
> http://auctions.yahoo.com/
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Short Wish -- Crysta, 04:58:44 01/01/02 Tue
On my knees and naked before you.
Licking the ground beneath your toes.
Praying with an iris between my palms.
Make me whole again.
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Upper hand, Upper skirt -- B-cups, 08:11:56 12/30/01 Sun
Could you copulate with me?
I wan't claim your fertility
I am a hairless ape
and some strange force is urging me
to spread my seed
before i die
---->() = :) = ? = :( = ---->() = :) = ? = :(
---->() = :) = ? = :( =----> () = :) = ? = :(
Seduction is so well known
and Brutality isn't tolerating
So now i must show my strength
while youre ovulating
and seduce you with my frightened lies
Look at me your monkey man
I can dance in this monkey land
make you moan like Big monkey man
Me big funny
real big funny
monkey man
How ridiculous are you
and the things that you do
just to show
how much better you are
than me
just for you to know
you are much better
a much Bigger
monkey
than me
Dismiss this
and me
and you
it's too early to live this young
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Replies:
I made a song for yall. Like to hear it, here it goes....... -- Double D, 04:39:13 12/30/01 Sun
Penis's and cornbread cornbread cornbread
Penis's and cornbread, Oh YEAH!
Penis's and cornbread cornbread cornbread
Penis's and cornbread,OH YEAH!!
Went down to the corner
bought myself a toy
stuck it in a sugar pack and pulled out alittle boy.
Took that little boy and shuved em in my pocket
with all the .,,,,,,,VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!!
VAGINA!!!!!!
VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Replies:
A reply to absence -- mTeeJug, 01:20:29 12/28/01 Fri
What did you say to mean
Could you say what you mean
Do you even know what you mean
to say
*interupted prayer*
the tranquil beat of a voice
at the door of my self doubt
could bring me outside
... .. . . .. .. .
. . . . . . . . ..
where there is rain
. . . . . . . ..
. . . . . . . .
Quinching my self drought
-------------------------
And the Nerve
The Fucking Nerve
that i fucking have
for wanting to know
what i want to know
How dare you me
question
the illusion of sanity
and stab
your own humanity
Sexual being
Sexual desire
Social grooming
who makes this fire?
Climb high to stability
fall back to the ground
reproduce
and
die
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October -- Suzy Q., 13:05:39 12/14/01 Fri
You could run the lengths of me:
Silken fingers are muffling
The sharp sound my sore lips make,
And your callous skin is tripping
On my every re-mark.
You taste undeniably sour in the unrelenting fall:
Red leaves are inevitably cascading
And giving back to the frosted Earth,
While were writing our confessions.
This forbidden musk isnt lingering
As long as it used to
And youre pulling my teeth again:
Breaking the silence and replicating
Mother Natures fierce blows.
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hey look i am friken emo -- boyle, 23:51:46 12/02/01 Sun
the sun will burn out before the one i care for will give me a returning stare
the sky will fall before that bitch will ever care
keep telling your self that you're better and shes less than scum
try to forget her and drink 20 shots of rum
make yourself look cooler and pick up your fone when she walks by
but in your heart for her love you would die
the muscles don't work when she gets close
like your presence is a lethal dose
but its ok rip my hear out it will feel better when i fall to my knee
unrequited must be the way it should be
my chest a void and emotions without glee
MAYBE one day you will be able to see ME for me
its like the side of the brain who wants you to give up is talking to the enfatuated side...
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Replies:
What Was -- Penguin, 12:25:58 11/20/01 Tue
I was looking for you
There is no way to deny it
You made me believe you were looking for me too
But I don't want what can never be
I already tried that too many times before
I was waiting for you
I know I can't hide it
You said you found me like it had been your quest
But you can't leave your old life for me
I realized this and don't want to move on
I will be getting over you
I don't want to try it
You said you didn't want me to cause you wouldn't
But you won't change your life for me like I would for you
So I'll step over the line you drew for us and cry till its gone.
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Replies:
too bad -- saira, 18:27:13 12/04/01 Tue
reciprocate,
baby.
wear me inside through to you.
to you.
again i'm calculating reactions to non-existent actions.
but it seems like the thing to do.
timing can be everything,
don't y'see.
when time is ripe,
and i am ripe,
then i might be time.
or it might be time.
for us.
i've really got a hold on
absoluetly nothing
for you're not everything or anything or something
to be reckoned with.
play it back on me.
i like you
being insane for once.
i like you
being me.
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Hiding from a Saturday Night -- Crysta, 03:13:00 12/02/01 Sun
I hear a ticking
Tickling the very walls of my head,
Yet instead
Of smiling and letting loose in a quiet chuckle,
My knees buckle
And I crumble to the floor.
Is it a ticking
or does it beat
With a rhythm beyond
What I take in my senses
When I lose those senses
With a glimpse of you.
Silence.
It leaves me,
And I picture you leaving me
For the laughter I can't give you,
For the speeches only my mind can form when the words don't come,
For the music you can't hear in my lyrics.
Baby,
Sweet melody,
Bring me close with a dance,
And drag me along with the wind.
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random thing to post -- arizona, 16:37:31 11/16/01 Fri
we are not enemies, but friends
we must not be enemies
thought passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection
the mystic cords of memory will swell when again touched as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature
-aberaham lincoln
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Replies:
to be continued -- insert a name here and they are the ones who posted this, 22:00:14 11/19/01 Mon
so my friend your thinking of her again
so my friend she is stuck in your head
maybe my friend you should tell her how you feel
don't my friend don't leave your love concealed
so last time my friend you took my advice
so last time my friend it didn't work out right
but this time my friend i will direct you the right way
yes this time my friend listen to what i have to say
today my friend today will be the day
today my friend you will whisk her away
heres what to do my friend you should write her a song
with a song my friend you can not go wrong
so you wrote her a song my friend and brought a tear to your eye
so you wrote her a song and it made you cry inside
but my friend did you sing it to her to let her hear
did you my friend let your song and words penetrate her ear
to be continued........
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Replies:
here i am -- sara, 13:11:42 11/19/01 Mon
here i am
filled with nothing but the hope
that one i can only read about
when i have the time
and i don't
have any time to spare
because i'm wasting it
being occupied here.
nothing works out in the end.
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.not vague enough. (i hate being the only one who posts) -- saira, 20:07:44 11/16/01 Fri
i swore to step away.
as emotions
wilt
inside out.
and i also swore to make white...
the empty pages say it all.
fingers touch only air,
as perceptions tend to trickle.
tears are ripe on friday night.
so
i
picked up the phone.
"hello operator. bid the boys goodnight, will ya?"
and the monotonous dial hummed in approval.
.approve this.
fall short
fall fast
falling short...
catch me.
and so i waltzed beside him...
"send the thank yous all around please"
as i curtsied to my audience.
thin remains endow a not so shallow me.
clocks count backwards
as hearts leap forward.
i guess i'm heading towards
not you.
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Replies:
short goodbye -- sober, 18:52:30 11/09/01 Fri
starting backwards...
half a night ago plans for half a year were shattered.
with a blink of two eyes,
minus the tears.
i said i would hold on tight,
and you said please do.
so i did, and you did, and we did.
uh... who did?
come again...
yes please.
and i'm not capable to score my own points,
so double it when i do.
adding more upon less,
you took my hand in the hand that i took my hand in yesterday.
fuck.
memories always confuse the hell outta me.
well,
i gotta say it.
i meant it,
and i loved it.
but you sold it.
away...
and now
you're my broken insomnia.
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Replies:
"I Remember" - Stabbing Westward -- Hobbes, 04:52:32 06/11/01 Mon
Do you ever wonder where
We would be if we had tried
A little harder?
It seems like yesterday
That we were making plans
For the future
But it's been so long
Since I have known those dreams
Those dreams we've left abandoned
And I'm haunted by your face
And the memory of your kisses
Sweet kisses
(Chorus)
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcended space and time
Those memories slip away
The ghost of what we were
Is faded
But there is no more pain
Which is funny 'cause that night
I was dying
I was dying
Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry
But I can't forget her face
And I can't forget her kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember always feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcended space and time
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
Or how we swore that we would never be alone
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
'Cause I still can't forget your touch
And how we swore that we would never end
We knew that our love transcended space and time
We swore that we would never end
We knew that our love transcended space and time
Do you remember?
God I remember so much
I remember so much
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Replies:
The texas giant -- supasteele, 04:08:38 10/04/01 Thu
The adreniline hits,
And you embrace the seats,
It goes up then down,
The food you had and air meets.
It started off simple,
As just a game,
Between two friends,
And then afterwards there was someone to blame.
You convince yourself,
That its his fault,
Never looking at the truth,
Of the roller coaster vault.
For the truth is,
Its yourself you can't handle,
Your up and down,
Its apart of you that you can't dismantle.
Suddenly it slams to the floor,
The people grow quite,
Never talk,
There's no longer a roar.
Never more will it be like before.
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Replies:
Orange glow, blue fog -- Hobbes, 04:59:18 10/01/01 Mon
She falls
She fucking falls
everytime...
i think she likes it.
I'm dating a drama Queen
a dramatic teen
whose life is everything
but interesting
to me
Shez so common
but common is all i want to be
right now
and if i knew how
i would devour her
but i think i'll just sour her
instead
like the arrogant fuck that i am.
She creates her highs
and smokes the orange glow
Fucking Drama Queen
She never asks why
and never stays too low
Im Fucking the Drama Queen
(curtains rise)
::emptiness speaks::
Im Fucking the Drama Queen
all just to play
some small part
in
her
dramatic
fucking
show
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Replies:
MOMENTS OF MR. AND MRS. STEELE -- supasteele, 02:33:13 10/05/01 Fri
Fuzz surounds me,
As I get up off the couch,
Nothing but haze surrounds,
And you can hardly see.
You wonder if your dreaming,
Or even if your a live,
I turn off the light,
Its no longer gleaming.
We go back to bed,
Our hands mold,
I give you a kiss,
And I start to hold.
Together snugling there,
Neither one willing to move,
In that moment of tranquility,
They make a great pair.
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Replies:
Nobody's Girl -- Penguin, 14:15:09 11/06/01 Tue
The other night
You thought you were great right?
I let you hold my hand because you needed a friend
But let's get this straight
You don't know me, so stop pretending
If there was ever something to upset me,
that would be it
I am nobody's girl
Don't think you can take me away from myself
I'm too strong willed for you to try to hurt me
I don't know you, let alone love you
Sorry to be so cruel but that's the truth
I don't want to sugar coat things anymore
Because nobody wanted to do that for me
Which is fine, because its made me stronger
I am nobody's girl
Get it straight
The time will come to love,
and when it does,
Then I will give in
But never pretend with me, common sense came in my package
And I am proud to be nobody's girl
Because its easier to get over your own mistakes
Then when someone makes them for you.
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Replies:
still don't have a title... -- saira, 21:04:55 11/08/01 Thu
unfocused
on your picture.
and i sit exanimate,
lacking a clutch on myself.
roll on in.
undefined
to me,
you should (and just might) feel less.
while brushing out my hairs,
and singling in my cares.
roll on in.
maybe quivering is enough for tonight,
and for tomorrow.
(here comes my practiced laugh)
when tomorrow is tonight and tonight is tomorrow,
i'll know that you let yourself analyze too much.
i drink to nothing.
refusals last one hour,
and now that two have passed, it's your turn to dance.
with me.
so come on now,
roll on in.
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Replies:
still don't have a title... -- saira, 21:07:10 11/08/01 Thu
unfocused
on your picture.
and i sit exanimate,
lacking a clutch on myself.
roll on in.
undefined
to me,
you should (and just might) feel less.
while brushing out my hairs,
and singling in my cares.
roll on in.
maybe quivering is enough for tonight,
and for tomorrow.
(here comes my practiced laugh)
when tomorrow is tonight and tonight is tomorrow,
i'll know that you let yourself analyze too much.
i drink to nothing.
refusals last one hour,
and now that two have passed, it's your turn to dance.
with me.
so come on now,
roll on in.
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Short Spurt -- Crysta, 02:20:13 11/06/01 Tue
Leave it behind,
Or put it behind you,
Forget and Forgive,
And all that other shit.
Whats wrong with keeping problems in front of my face
Floating like food on a stick
Protruding from my chest?
But it's not where I keep them that bothers me,
It's the fact that they seem to be so out of reach,
For every step forward they stay a foot in front,
And I salivate like a dog in my yearning for consumption.
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Replies:
Dead.............. -- crying w/a smile, 20:19:16 11/04/01 Sun
Anger building up inside of me,
There is nothing left,
I'm caged behind these bars,
Were I'll never be set free.
The Pressure is pounding,
I can't breathe,
Part is telling me to stay,
Part is wanting to leave.
Is there a better way out,
I've always been indicisive,
Never stuck with anything,
But how could I live.........
Screw my dreams who cares,
Why don't you take and mold them,
Conform them so they can fit who you are,
Erase the old me and make a siloette of your dreams.
I can't live...........
I'm already dead.
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your red poppies -- saira, 22:04:58 10/30/01 Tue
so i guess you're my drug
(and i'm the anti-drug)
waiting
and
covering.
bet y'didn't expect me to last this long.
bet y'were ready to say so long.
now go long...
you're just 6 weeks away...
and expectations still crouch unexpectedly.
i dunno what's coming,
or if it already did.
and
i
laid
there
sleeping.
picture me now.
picture us now.
bet y'don't even have a picture to share.
now.
inject me with your ways,
my love.
and i'll inject you.
and we'll sleep away into ourselves,
buried in your red poppies.
3 days old... going into 35 nights cold.
choose one.
after all...
i'm just scared to see that last kiss.
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Replies:
False Dilemna -- Crysta, 14:00:30 11/02/01 Fri
If I were to slip into black
Like the blanket that covers me
What would I see but what I always see
When my eyes close at night?
And now they are swollen
So pink and tight,
I can't believe how perfect you are
In those moments before I cry.
There you are,
My silent figure,
Across the way
Or way across,
So far,
I wonder
If you'll stop
Or if you'll run
Until you're dead.
Death seems a place
Pure and serene,
A sanctuary for which I dream.
If's only an if,
And you only confuse me
Until I can't keep from screaming.
Or maybe I'm just laughing
To keep you within my arms.
Or maybe it's something beyond this false dilemna.
I know nothing
But the clearness I feel
When black lays its hands on my throat.
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A Body's name -- let stop go, 18:32:38 10/28/01 Sun
desperation has me.
desperation has me trying to clean this mess.
desperation has me trying to clean this mess with a dirty rag...
bird's eye
bird's eyeview
bird's eye
bird's eyeview
still not high
enough2
see enough
never
enough2
to spread evenly
through
{{a body is named where it lopsides}}}}
birds die
birds die
birds die
birds die
too...
You refers to me
so much
too much
but not always
and i hate you
but not always...
A reflection reminds me
that i'm just a body with a name
like you
but different...
right?
no.
just the same.
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Replies:
my little story -- sober, 21:51:40 10/24/01 Wed
When you throw an apple, it falls. When a young girl throws everything, she falls. Simple. So goes the story of the one known as Lisa Lee.
Lisa Lee knew not of anything but. And Lisa Lee pretended to hate carbonated beverages... but we all knew that was only an excuse to wear socks with sandals. Not to mention preach the "bohemian eay of living" as she so cleverly put it. And I promise you that right below the nape of her neck (if you can locate it) was a small label reading:
Add culture, close eyes, and shake. Make sure to not overflow, or internal and external dammage will result.
No one reads the warnings just right. In order to fully digest the small print a tall glass of water is needed, (not short mind you) followed by saltines and a bowl of pineapples and milk. Only then can one fully understand. Lisa Lee neglected the pineapples. Alas.
So, one day, Lisa Lee decided the only way to grow into herself was to kill the growing of her hair. After painfully pulling strand by strand, Lisa Lee figured the next best option was to cut her hair. And so she did. Again. And again... for good measure.
Now, let me tell you, did Lisa Lee go crazy afterwards. The falling of her hair was followed swiftly by her good humor and sensibility. And Lisa Lee became almost scary to the point that mothers hid their children, big and small. Through that vibrating laugh and stick-on smile (not to mention peel-off eyes) I knew. And she knew I knew. Lisa Lee cut herself off of herself and off of me and off of the very pages of her sobriety. So each day was played in front of a mirror (we held hair brushes as microphones) and fiction was the only section in our library. To make our peace, that is.
Then after all those daily games of ours, Lisa Lee finally faded away. She did attempt to smash her fist into the green wall... and any wall. To display her newfound strength that came as a complimentary gift with her newfound friends. But she was shallow, the wall was firm. The result was a laughing wall and a crying Lisa Lee. And as for her newfound glory... well they sold out anyway.
Turn around, and you just might see Lisa Lee. With her hands open and a feeble smile (still a stick-on, I assure you). And even though you so desire, your goodwill keeps you from sneering, and even laughing. So you calmly place your head out the window and say "Need a lift?"
And she always does.
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Pessimistic Ambiguity -- Crysta, 23:18:34 10/23/01 Tue
A tapestry unfolds,
Tumbling from its golden ties,
Blocking an empty doorway
To come to rest before me.
Threads woven into bold colors and shapes,
A wink and a wave.
But the moment it was exposed
In all of its brilliance,
My mind clouded and closed
To deny such beauty for fear.
What if I were to touch each expression
Only to feel it melt away?
What if I were to focus on the very joy it may posess
And see it crumble?
Better to wait.
Let it retire.
Scroll back into shining ribbons.
I'll walk through the doorway,
Dark and bland,
Withough expectation.
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ISH - The Greatest Self -- Hobbes, 05:42:14 10/15/01 Mon
Finally,
a chance to listen to nothing.
a chance for the empty air to echo.
Voices with and without faces
from the long days ahead and behind
they are all talking at once
One at a time please...
one at a time.
[pick up][drop off]
[repeat]
[you first...]
I'm in love with the part of you
that stayed behind
when you decided to leave
and i guess it hurts
a little more than a lot
to know that this is it
to know that
this is all that i've got
left of you
and
to know that
i can't feel you
no matter how hard
i squeeze my eyes shut
and try to
hurts
a little more than a lot.
[now you...]
So now
With every day thatz done
the more complicated
i become
god damn
itz so hard to laugh
when humor
is no longer fun
and you would think
that in a game
with no ther players
that in a game
where you're the only one
why
and how in the fuck
you keep on losing
a battle you shouldn't lose
a battle you should have won
[you're next...]
The things i need to do
seem so many
seem so much
The things i need to do
seem so god damn fucking ridiculous
the more that i think about it
im losing so much
[your turn...]
the nothing race is going too fast
i would like to see who's running beside me
Why does life have to be such a binge
with everybody eating as much as they can
before they die
i can't keep up
i can't fucking keep up
in this nothing race.
[ok, now everybody shut the fuck up]
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Replies:
semi-circle -- oxymoronic, 22:09:51 10/22/01 Mon
and its ended
all over again.
you fade even in the dark.
toxicity echoes after
every step you take.
slink behind that yellow margin.
something's speaking from my voice
but it isn't me.
every thought i birth draws itself around you,
away from you.
but farther makes me slower
and the clock ticks heavily.
i'm never myself anymore.
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i hate my daddy. -- saira khan, 18:20:20 10/22/01 Mon
i guess i remember when...
and then soon enough i forget.
he threw out my last thoughts,
along with everything else i held sacred.
inside.
i can't step along anymore,
with those damned wide feet of mine
the ones my mom called pretty.
fuck,
i can't do anything anymore,
with any damned parts of me.
outside.
and this transcends empty.
almost to the point where it's fuckin full of nothing.
and i guess it kills (you) that i'm so apart,
but you can at least appreciate the distance.
at least i exist, somewhere.
(altho my potential sometimes breaks with me)
your call... as always.
so everything burns,
but nothing tears.
and then nothing burns,
and everything tears.
forgetting isn't easy to remember.
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Capricious -- jen sim, 17:50:41 10/18/01 Thu
I've grown out of myself now.
there's a handful
of extra skin somewhere
near the back of my head...
(and you won't notice it at all
i suppose you've kissed
back there enough
to not strain yourself anymore)
The casualty is slipping
and I'm merging with
the delicate flowers in the aesthetically pleasing
wallpaper you've painted by number.
I've never stood for ignorance...
but hell, I've never stood for anything.
My toese turned over themselves,
and I'm curling.
Hang me up to dry
and bid me your mantelpiece.
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Replies:
My Journey -- B.E.G., 01:01:24 10/18/01 Thu
When choosing the path to follow
I selected the road heading west
It began in the Forest of Childhood
and ceased at the City of Success
My bag was packed full of knowledge
but also some fears and some weights
My most precious cargo was a vision
of entering the city's bright gates.
I reached an impassable river
and feared that my dream had been lost
But i found a sharp rock, cut down a tree
and created a bridge i would cross
It started to rain, and I was so cold
I shivered and started to doubt
But I made an umbrella out of some leaves
and kept the cold water out
The journey too longer than i had planned
I had no food left in my dish
Rather than starve before reaching my dream
I taught myself how to fish
I greaw awfully tired as I walked on and on
and i thought of the weights in my pack
I tossed them aside and I sped up again
fear was all that was holding me back
I could see the City of Success
just beyond a small patch of trees
At last, I thought, I've reached my goal!
The whole world will envy me!
I arrived at the city, but the gate was locked
The man at the door frowned and looked pissed
"You have wasted your time. I can't let you in.
Eileen is not on my list."
I cried and screamed and I sobbed and I shook
I felt that my lave had just ceased
For the first time ever, I turned my head,
and for once in my life faced the east.
I saw all the things I had done on my way
all the obstacles I'd overcome
I couldn't enter the city
but that didn't mean I hadn't won...
I had taught myself how to cross rivers
and how to stay dry in the rain
I had learned how to keep my heart open
even if sometimes it lets in some pain
I learned, facing backwards
that life meant more than just survival
My success was my journey....
not my arrival
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Make me happy -- B.E.G., 00:46:59 10/18/01 Thu
you could never make me happy
it's not your fault that you were wrong
i'm not sad that we're apart
it's alright that you left me
cause i can't miss you any longer
sometimes i wish i'd stayed blind
but i'm alright and i've realized
you could never make me happy
i was only happy with your lies
i only loved what you pretended to be
i guess the truth is gonna hurt
you could never make me happy
and i could never love the real you
so now i'm glad that i can see
my love for you was just a lie
i wanted so much
to believe those lies
that someone was finally
in love with me
but you could never love me
and you could never make me happy
never make me happy
make me happy
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Feedback: 
willam (acheter votre medicament), 09:15:27 10/11/21 Mon