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Do it. Know it. Like it. Or else.
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  • i love it so much when you hear a song for the first time, and the lyrics and music and everything just exactly say exactly how you feel at that exact moment that you're listening to it, a good good song, for the first time. -- jess.i.ca., 05:24:45 08/09/01 Thu



    sea anemone
    by jets to brazil


    the curtain's a sea anemone in the way it sways to the slow breeze
    i lie, spread out on the floor, looking at these things, and most of them are yours
    and it's so nice, sitting very still
    without those old shoes i could never fill

    starfish with its arms out in a daze, staring at the stars through an ocean haze
    was i one you wished upon?
    burned out like a lightbulb when you turned me on

    and it's so nice, sleeping here all alone,
    with my ashtray and white courtesy telephone.

    now i'm making out the shapes, like the shower rod - can it take my weight?
    i will tell you i am fine.
    i got some news, friend. feels like i'm dying.

    turtle on its back in the desert sea,
    and you look like a cool drink, just slightly out of reach.
    draw myself into the shell, waiting on a sign from god, or a nod from hell.

    and it's so nice, sitting very still,
    without those old shoes i could never fill.

    now we're turning on the lights - it's the first day of my second life.
    take my name off of the lease;
    you can even keep the name, it never suited me.

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  • hooray!! -- Carrie, 05:14:42 08/12/01 Sun
    congrats...lol....i want a copy...so emailme!......pronto, j/k ....kaybye

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  • yyyyeah! -- jess.i.ca., 19:50:31 08/11/01 Sat


    So in case you didn't know, Rising to the Bottom (Sara & I) have finished our album.

    "Too Much Philosophy" is now available for purchase. Only $8.

    Buy your hot copy today!!



    (No, seriously. If anyone wants a copy, contact either of us. We've got copies for you. And we'd love it if you'd buy one cuz we know you'd love it. Ok... thanks.)

    [ Edit | View ]

  • blame it on the sun stroke -- saira khan, 22:21:10 08/07/01 Tue

    i bet you can laugh all you want
    in the back of your throat.
    like you sometimes/always do.
    i'm getting sore reaching for you.

    so you're gonna look over the dusty ocean,
    and i might just think about you.

    but another missed message,
    and not one more chance to say good-bye,
    directly followed by hello.
    it's too hard now.

    rolling my eyes so far back i can finally see you.
    digression only takes me this far.
    so i stop.

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  • straight edge? -- doesn't matter, as you've reminded me, 05:35:07 08/04/01 Sat
    or so you claim to be
    x.......X........x
    no drugs^alcohol^or sex
    either way it's ok, no one cares if you are not
    they all know, we know, i know
    and you don't care, right, about what "we" think
    but why the cover up?
    if you are thats cool, congrats,
    but, you're not, so why not try
    to leave the xXx's
    to the people who won't pretend there's less
    because you know you broke the rules,
    you can't erase an "X"

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  • ::ahem:: -- ~~Lauren, 19:57:49 08/06/01 Mon


    Peoples ... guess what...


    I got my cast off!!! Less than two hours ago.

    I would like to thank everyone who was at the Regent last night for praying - or wishing or hoping or whatever you did - for me. It worked.

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Ambiguous Monster -- Hobbes, 06:15:55 08/06/01 Mon

    A mother's missed abortion
    some how lived
    and grew
    despite its indifferent creators

    Monster nice


    Another alien of autism
    some how lived
    and grew
    into his own reflection

    mothered by mutilation
    fathered by introspection

    Monster good

    tO the Rescue
    The reassuring sad came
    tO the Rescue

    so much comfort
    in blUe
    and black
    and green

    Monster bruises
    Monster mean

    swimming in the warm puddles
    of seperate eyes
    the monster cries
    and screams her whyz

    i know she tries
    but life haz whyz
    when happy dies
    it is the reassuring sad
    on the rise

    So don't tell me
    anything
    but please tell me
    everything
    that you don't KNOW

    perspective plays the monster that puppets
    this whole fucking show

    Ambiguous monsters all around me

    And there is no one out there to believe me

    only percieve me

    please just cut me

    and eat me

    to be me

    to see me

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  • "So, Temporary?" i have no idea what i'm talking about, my thoughts are jumbled and this is about 3 or 4 people -- sima, 12:32:25 08/06/01 Mon

    I'm old news to you
    the dirty shoes passing over your head
    are more appealing to you
    than my scent, which you used to swear
    you could bathe in before breakfast.

    This sweating body-contact high
    could power you for days
    but why bother?
    You know I'll sweep you up then-
    right from where you left me.

    I'm feeling as useless as your sealed lips.

    Birds could build nests on your face now
    but you're still not ready to budge-
    I suppose you're home here:
    the piles of garbage have swallowed you whole,
    and I'm losing sight of you
    but you're the main attraction.

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Now he's awake again -- +-+-+-+, 06:30:31 08/06/01 Mon

    Long scars on his arm
    embedded deep within his skin

    thinking that this vibrant , self assured person
    was once lying on a cold metal table
    his body peeled open
    A light shining down on his closed eye lids

    Now he's awake again
    not affected
    in the least

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  • End -- Vanessa, 06:25:35 08/06/01 Mon

    as thoughts fill my head
    dear lord i wish i were dead
    so many chances so many knives

    just to taste the bitter sweet taste of death
    how it would end my pain
    how can we stay sane

    all these people are so increminating
    they try so hard to be whats impossible
    yet they are clausable
    for the depression that has lead so many
    into insanity
    and now as i take my last breath in say to them
    see you in hell

    [ Edit | View ]

  • W -- SEAN, 04:18:39 08/05/01 Sun
    WARPED TOUR plaaaa!

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  • Shibby the HIGHKew -- Not really high but biffs naked and hates manure, 03:09:24 08/02/01 Thu
    Today I Shibbiddy Dibbiddy with my Peter,
    The Maria with its valuable cavern of juices.
    Tomorrow I will shoot through like the Goonies did
    only i won't have Data backing me up with one of his snazzy inventions. Budweiser... Budweiser... has nothing to do with this. Shinny Shibby Shibby Flow, Shinny Flow Shibby
    Work it Work it

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  • The perfect Iris -- Hobbes, 06:18:36 07/31/01 Tue

    I am God's toy
    I was designed to disagree

    and it is apparent that i am transparent
    without this contrast
    to outline my identity

    and it is a parent that remains transparent
    succeeding only in
    Spreading the Seed of Misery

    Born Still
    Still Born

    Still Alive
    Alive Still


    Be still...


    inside of me
    there are those
    who Despise me
    but despite me
    i just might be
    able to fight me

    and build

    The perfect Iris

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  • it's not about who you think. -- saira, 02:18:59 08/01/01 Wed

    it's hard to regret when you're not even sure what you did.
    but i'm never sure of what i do.
    and when generosity is all that i know,
    there's not much i can think wrong about.

    maybe next time i won't flinch
    and instead of placing you somewhere else
    i'll keep you close.

    but that's unlikely.

    satisfaction comes with comfort,
    but i always thought my level could increase.
    now, there's not even seperation.

    take me home now.
    and i'll wrap myself in myself,
    and whisper words to songs.
    as my present was printed as someone's past,
    serving as proof that it's not so bad.

    i'll massage my own wounds.
    thanks very much.

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  • "you probably should've heard" -- JessicA, 17:17:09 07/31/01 Tue


    i probably should have said
    that i'd be fine
    maybe this time

    and i'm scratched out
    whether or not i should be
    but you just don't understand ...
    do you?

    should've heard me go outside.
    should've heard me screaming.
    should've heard me.
    you probably should have heard.

    you could have done it for yourself,
    if for nobody else.
    but she loves you, in that really real way,
    so it really doesn't matter how you make me feel.

    and i get none.

    well, for me?
    i'm in line
    with the horizon.

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  • "secret pathways through my spine. i know that i miss you." -the anniversary -- JessicA, 19:58:26 07/28/01 Sat











    and you have nothing to say about me
    unless i'm halfway listening
    and none of the way looking

    i haven't changed all the way through
    i'm just halfway dead
    where i used to be all of the way alive

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  • complaining comes too easy. -- saira, 02:47:15 07/31/01 Tue

    thrashing is so easy to you,
    no strings attached this time.
    or ever.
    and maybe loneliness is alright,
    yet my sympathy always relays back.

    i asked you to play,
    one day.
    a little humor now and then,
    to keep my mouth from numbing.

    another refusal to add to the half-life.
    that's mine.

    but i guess my smile spreads thicker this way.
    and i guess it's that i sleep with.

    just turn off the television
    just once.
    and adjust my face, my ways, my talk.
    a little leaning will imprint further,
    and your shoulder on mine will be a photo to pin up.

    more importantly,
    you should recall what it's all compared to anyway.
    then maybe i'll come out on top.
    a slight chance.

    instead i recreate
    and submit
    as i alienate
    or maybe subjugate
    you.

    so please don't be sorry,
    you can't help hating my eyes.

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  • can you fall slowly for me? I really want to watch it -- and then there was a wedding cake, 07:05:38 07/28/01 Sat

    and SO the creativity sleeps
    some where buried
    underneath the things
    that you've come to build around you
    no one is left
    what a horrible thing
    for you to have finally found you

    SHUT THE HELL UP


    It is
    not really hiding from you
    just remaining OBliVIOUS to you
    in a place we have all chosen to leave

    It is
    the only true thing that waits for you
    never growing
    when itz away from you

    SHUT THE FUCK UP

    People are slowly walking away
    and I can feel you
    s/e/p/a/ra/t/i/n/g
    piece by peace
    by
    piece no peace

    falling
    breaking
    away
    Im breaking
    ever day
    Im falling
    in every way
    piece by peace

    but falling has its upside
    you have to shatter
    to see the inside

    spilling on the outside
    watching from the upside
    now youre broken from the inside

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  • bad night -- jencook, 02:43:25 07/29/01 Sun
    and i'd change my number
    but why bother
    or even to tell you to stop calling
    as if you ever did
    in the first place.
    and those dreams of perfection
    faded with your voice
    that I never hear anymore.
    So to call myself naive
    would be right now
    cuz no matter how many times
    i want you with me
    it'll always mean more coming from him.

    [ Edit | View ]

  • w -- s2692, 01:17:10 07/28/01 Sat
    Time flew past as we were having fun
    What's in the past is what's done is done
    Now that the future for or friendship is looking bleak
    We can see or true friends

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  • man this sucks, i haven't written in a while...but yea...this sucks. i think i have writer's block....yep... -- JenCook, 04:19:31 07/24/01 Tue
    That was always your way,
    breaking things
    you were trying to fix
    with your excuses
    while empty promises
    fill me with sadness
    as lies surface.
    And that was always your way
    staring through me
    with a focused glare
    as if as though
    I weren't there
    as you scream so loudly
    that I don't hear it
    and I shudder
    while your presence
    makes me even
    more uneasy
    because I hate
    being alone.

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  • "Immaculate"...lately my writing has been nothing but ramblings...but this could symbolize an old friend. -- sima, 16:47:19 07/22/01 Sun

    I can't get anywhere with you
    on 7 dollars and a crooked smile
    but my eyes are full today
    and rolling back.
    I could tell you all their splender
    but my voice is being drowned out
    by these repeated songs
    because you're no good at pretending
    you're interested.
    We're living in the memory
    of what I used to be to you-
    but now you think I'm broke,
    and I know I've been broken.

    I would act like I'm paying close attention
    to this chorus I memorized 3 weeks ago-
    But your record's skipping,
    and you don't seem to notice anything anymore.
    I suppose it's hard to keep
    even your most precious- clean.

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  • Come again -- Wind-woken Willow, 23:34:53 07/26/01 Thu
    Fields of wheat stand tall before a late evening sunset, and I gaze into the horizon with a glowing halo surrounding my thoughts.

    I've missed these streams of happiness as a cascading waterfall following a night of storms.

    But where do you stand,
    So silent in misery and overwhelming facts,
    While I swim in the dream of possibility?

    Barefoot on the farm,
    Belly swelling,
    Flowers in my hair,
    And the floating image of you
    Grinning over my shoulder,
    Suspenders drooping off your waist,
    As your arms wrap around me.

    Where do you stand?
    Far in thought...
    ...or closer than hearts could imagine...

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Ok. -- JessicA, 05:05:45 07/21/01 Sat


    Ok, my party's today. Don't forget.

    Family's not coming until around 5, but anyone's welcome before that, to go swimming or to eat food or whatever.

    230 Chandler Rd.
    Be there or be square.

    Like you.

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  • Damn -- Dave chappell, 02:36:53 07/21/01 Sat
    You people need some serious help. I mean god damn!

    [ Edit | View ]

  • . -- JessicA, 17:27:23 07/16/01 Mon


    Happy, happy, happy, happy ...

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAIRA KHAN!!!



    ... like you. :)

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  • Between -- Crysta, 03:01:11 07/17/01 Tue
    I stare in the two shining holes I can only call your eyes across a fading black table. Elbows stabbing the hard surface and my chin firmly placed in both of my hands. I scowl, as if you dragged me here against my will. Motionless you are, so complex and so unreachable, yet finally here you are in front of me to answer each question I ever had of you, and I can only sit speechlessly annoyed.

    Yes here you are:

    six foot seven maybe, or three foot four. hidden beneath that ageless black cape with skeleton hands or blue smiles shimmering from a halo of light. i could wash my hands in the blood of you, all water and mud, and i could bleed for you when you take a hold of my wrists.


    I wait for you to skake me out of my stuper. Ripping claws constricting my neck, embracing my lips with a warmed kiss...

    But motionless you are, and stupid I remain my worst fear.



    Soon, icy breath escapes my frozen lungs, and the icicles that so clung to my lids begin to melt... and warmth fills the gaping hole beneath my translucent skins. I blink, and the frown between my brows slowly releases its hold.



    You're gone- and the sadness takes over my tears for I know nothing -and death, I could not decipher its silly face.

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  • i feel horrible guys. -- saira, 18:37:37 07/16/01 Mon

    lying next to traces
    of what could be us, or maybe you.
    then again, maybe nothing.
    and the only solid is my head.
    i'm not even sure if i'm awake now.

    not fit to wear,
    but good enough to display.
    light seems to ignore my remains.
    and reflections grow deep between my cheeks.

    packed with action once more.

    crap... i forgot.
    but i do that a lot,
    and routine is common,
    especially when heat circulates.

    no requests from me,
    not ever.
    just after this one,
    then maybe i'll move.

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Downer -- Hobbes, 05:22:03 07/13/01 Fri

    Hey,

    I found our picture frozen on that day
    memory lapse is where i play
    Between your thighs is where i lay
    but that was the dawn of yesterday

    And you knew everything that i would...

    Say,

    I thought i heard your voice today
    Saw you smile and walk away
    Made me think of old Holidays
    December warmth and
    Late night walks in...

    May,

    I take you back today?
    Whisper all the things we used to...
    Play the games we used to...
    And you knew everything that i would...

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  • ...Break Lights... -- ~~Lauren, 04:03:23 07/14/01 Sat


    ...when paper no longer holds like cement
    and your smell is no longer synonymous with my smile
    I'll know I've hit rock bottom.

    It's like losing a game you've trained yourself to tie.

    ...still I came boxed and slashed with wires
    and you've yet to get gone, running, from my hardwood scuffed
    elbow insides.

    you're not telling me the words I want whispered
    and I'm done yelling the words I shouldn't have to say.
    why do you try so hard to be soft
    and never try to break a sweat for a rock?

    you've left yourself hung from me.
    and I'll smile, finally seeing your toes swing.

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  • um.... a guy.. what else?...lol...i feel stupid.... -- Carrie, 20:14:19 07/14/01 Sat
    So, fall we think it never may,
    but not attached in our dismay,
    beyond now what we think is true,
    to spend the years here drunk of you,
    would such a crime be to sit still,
    and bask with-in some Taurus thrill?
    To cry not for another thing,
    wait with-out waiting fo a fling,
    not to forget thine eyes and heart,
    so close to heaven....so far apart,
    through starry eyes did this seem real?
    In mine this was....in yours of teal?
    Were wishes turned to memories,
    as oaks do shed their beauty leafs?
    Sadly, beauty may not ever see,
    how beautifully you look at me,
    with drawn, I tempt to stand correct,
    and not to leak, and to accept,
    this thing we run from, catching up,
    to break apart with any luck,
    to fall, we see, down fast like lead,
    may drop up fast..... so light instead.

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Kill the Spider -- the only idiot who writes this kind of shit, 06:42:40 07/12/01 Thu

    Life's frontal nudity.
    A belief in the undefined.
    It is on behalf of this fool,
    you fool,
    so stay
    far
    behind.

    Fire will eat you.
    Make it only
    if you know this.
    Knowledge will burn you.
    Light the match with care.
    Ignite a self-combusting bliss.

    Incubated life.
    Driving the machine.
    Slaves of pleasure.
    285 million people
    screaming to be happy.

    +Finger prints of GOD+
    +children of GOD+

    ever thought to ask why
    Angels need
    Animal wings
    to fly?


    All things are blind

    outside of my mind

    i need to unwind

    i need to unfind...

    these things i've collected.


    put them all back.
    take them all back.
    straghten my back.
    apathy slouches.
    ambition stands tall.
    it doesnt hurt so much
    as long as there is some one
    somebody
    to break
    the fall

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  • hi. -- saira khan, 23:16:04 07/11/01 Wed

    bliss comes with confusion.
    and i rather it stays like this.
    please take my hand and walk with me.

    my one request, is all.

    and everything's a big secret
    so only in the dark can thoughts collide,
    but never words.

    seems to be that flinching is my biggest problem,
    not to mention regret.
    next time my reaction will be right.

    i keep hearing things
    all over the place,
    and your silence worsens it
    when eyes burn you.

    as our hollow spots touch,
    collision is great.
    intertwining twice over,
    but never under.
    and we are made for the next hour.

    or so.

    and ignoring it all is the best way about.

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  • "Porous"...i didn't write this about any one in particular..but now that i look at it- it could be about my mom -- sima, 18:39:56 07/10/01 Tue

    These nurtured hands
    have poured over me
    and washed my skin
    of another lost night.
    It's funny how you can
    blanket the storm,
    and keep it under me.
    And this canopy is eroding and becoming
    just as jaded as your insensitive soul.

    This sobbing quilt
    has nothing left to offer
    but the silence of my broken stare.
    Swollen eyes have no use
    for seeing anymore,
    bathing in this salty solution
    is causing my blindness.

    We've built bridges
    with our memories
    but we have oceans left to cross,
    and carry my soaking body
    through his temperamental weather
    has become a burdening chore.

    And when these ceilings finally cave in,
    we'll be drowing in the
    bodies of water you've made.

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  • ... my first poem in a long time. i was actually enjoying not having anything negative to write about. and then my mother's mouth woke up. -- JessicA, 05:34:12 07/11/01 Wed


    "brilliantly yours"


    could it be
    any more on me?
    to weigh me against you,
    and the possibilities of an escape -
    impossible,
    even if the exit sign is 2 months away.

    but this fight has become
    brilliantly yours,
    for your voice shatters glass.

    and i can make my silence deafening,
    and you can't stand that talent about me.

    it all makes me want to
    up-and-away myself.

    and the spirals have straightened out
    when you've straightened your spine
    in my direction

    and i let myself out
    because you're chasing me still,
    even if i'm running in the opposite direction.

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  • boobies! -- JessicA, 03:24:32 07/12/01 Thu


    i am way glad that saira khan was my frisbee buddy today, cuz she is nice and she is really good at swinging on swings and she likes to wear pants in the summer just like me.


    and she is pretty and she has nice red hair and she buys really cool books and i like her way a lot.


    ok, bye.

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Hidden behind the Mask -- Crysta, 03:57:56 07/09/01 Mon
    My empty hands tremble,
    Red fingernail polish chipping,
    Snowing down to the floor.

    i can't get the fucking words outta my head.

    My tounge plays guessing games,
    Taking naps in between,
    And my eyes fuzz over with the mold warm moisture grows.

    It's so cloudy but it won't rain,
    So foggy but I can't feel the wet on my skin,
    And though the sun peeks in and out,
    In and out, in and out, in and out,
    It never yells "olley olley oxen free!"


    Is my safety on?

    Where's the noose?

    I've lost my fucking leash!

    Tied from my neck to my hands,
    It's always been grasped,
    Intertwined within my fingers...
    Led by me and followed by me...
    Where can I go?

    To bed I'd like to fall
    But I sleep too long in the morning,
    Missing every sunrise
    And a warm cup of coffee.

    Useless I am awake,
    Drooling through that clouded stare...

    Here I am and there I go,
    Racing along through barrels of rum.
    Not slowing down to take a sip.

    My empty and hands tremble
    As I bring my fingers to my lips,
    Waiting for the rain to fall,
    Or the sun to bite my ass.

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  • ::ahem:: -- ~~Lauren, 14:29:50 07/11/01 Wed


    I would jusy like to say that the fact that Bryan (Turtleman, to you insensitive kids...) now has a woman, has made me the happ-happ-happiest girl alive....

    And I'm not even "the woman"...




    (p.s.--bryan and i decided today - for those of you that know him - that Mr. Taylor's favorite band is Ace of Base.)

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Hey, guess what. I'm havin' a PAR-TY!! -- JessicA, 01:10:09 07/05/01 Thu


    Ok. So my mom is way gay & is making me have a dumb graduation party.

    However, I think that if all you cool people are there to make it cool, it'll be ... cool.

    So come to my party. It's on Saturday, July 21st, sometime in the afternoon-night. I don't have an exact time set, so come whenever.

    Ok?

    You're all invited. Even if I don't really like you too much. :)

    LIKE YOU, BYE.

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  • Damn you Media -- the only kid you know that would start his own army to destroy burger king signs, 05:19:30 07/06/01 Fri
    This is something all of you have probably noticed a long time ago. Living like the life of a movie is impossible. What I mean is guys in movies always get chicks, amazing chicks, with out trying. They just seem to sit there and bam she walks in on his life. In reality that's like getting struck by a meteor. Plus in the movies the guy always seems to screw up some how and the dumb bitch comes back to him even after she got her kids taken away because of him. Pollution is all it is. Its very hard to escape these ideas too, they're everywhere.

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  • mine's not the codeine, tho it may seem like it. -- saira, 20:33:20 07/05/01 Thu

    just a little shorter,
    and then so much more.
    my apologies
    for never listening and forever ignoring.

    three nights ago made it all okay
    and then we broke again.
    from the slamming results of fragmented words
    networked to sit in front of my eyes.
    but it's okay,
    cos i was never meant to see it,
    anyway.

    i keep stepping backwards.

    hours and hours
    of repetition in reverse.
    now i'm apathetic
    and you, you care.
    this is when i get scared.

    i told you more
    and i love how you remember when you feel like it.
    but selective memory was never your worst trait.

    these corridors keep coming
    and each time i explode.
    so i try to walk it straight,
    and ignore those temptations placed in front of me.

    placing a lid on me whenever you pushed,
    and that's why we don't connect.
    for now.

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  • i've completely stopped making sense...i think it's the codeine... -- ~~Lauren, 04:45:10 07/05/01 Thu


    ...Bridge...

    i'm ready to place my steps for you.
    no longer an inspiration -
    now motivation to inspire,
    as i hold your binding down.

    you lack my love of truancy.

    i've not yet finished smelling you.
    i bet you're sore for me now.
    i bet you'd soar for me now -
    yet doubt your trust in my rising ribs -

    it's what's behind that counts, man,
    when underneath is home.

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  • Our Sour Deficiency -- Efficacious, 22:20:30 07/03/01 Tue

    I'm so used to walking this path-
    my shoes are impressed
    in these bricks,
    and the road back to Kansas
    is becoming more disillusioned
    with every movement.

    I've never had to take a step back from love
    but at a safe distance,
    I'm quieting the baby's cry
    and that's all that matters anymore.

    My vulnerable-self
    has a way of falling
    too deep, too quickly.
    And apologies
    aren't a net,
    but a distraction.

    You have yet to open my ribs
    and hold my pure heart-
    I'm the only one
    standing between you two.

    And that's what you like least about me-
    that I'm in the way of my own perfection.
    But to you,
    letting go doesn't mean leaving...
    it's just falling apart.

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  • hiya -- jencook, 17:01:51 07/04/01 Wed
    Happy 4th of July! :)

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  • Capricious candy -- Hobbes, 06:10:22 07/03/01 Tue

    Strangle.the.thought.
    watch it fight for its life
    gasping for air
    the person born will never care
    about the murder.

    The.new.you.
    never knew
    the old
    so retreat deciet
    and never fold.

    Escape your own murder.

    CLUTTER
    inside of this place
    COLLECTING
    behind my face

    Im willing to challenge my own thinking
    but I can't seem to drown
    even if
    i am always sinking
    always staring
    always blinking
    contradicting
    my hypocrisy...
    sadly amusing...
    this way of thinking.

    and THEY tell me that there is a school called Zen...
    damn i would really like to see it.
    that sincerity is not a harborer of truth
    damn i would really like to believe it.
    that the face is a silent language
    damn i would really like to hear it.
    and that epiphany only knows two words
    damn i hate the realization of a life changing "holy shit"



    And as these automatic verbal expressions come spraying from my mouth

    I cant help but recognize

    that i am only half way here...


    Holy shit.

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  • . -- JessicA, 01:58:34 07/03/01 Tue


    burning down the symphony
    just to keep the sound down
    falling around you
    and you won't clean it up

    i spent a year
    mopping up after your mistakes
    finding out how to make my own
    and never succeeding

    i never want this position again,
    to be ahead of you
    and behind you
    at the same exact time.

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  • Red Balloon -- Crysta, 02:48:55 07/02/01 Mon
    My thoughts float beyond me,
    Within the boundaries of a red balloon,
    I carry by a thread.

    You accuse me
    Of not seeming myself,
    Detached,
    Broken off,
    But I am only seperated,
    Tied to my wrist.

    Those thoughts swarming like flies
    Beneath the rubber,
    Sweltering in the heat,
    Eventualy become the condensation
    Perspiring on the outside.

    It is then you see my tears flow,
    Glistening against the crimson sides
    Dripping from the air,
    Matching the flush of my sobbing cheeks.

    Yes I watch my emotions fly
    From the outside,
    Through an abstract looking glass.

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  • so i'm the only dork who has no life and posts. i'm going more crazy every day. -- saira khan, 18:20:49 06/28/01 Thu
    a series of moments,
    that's all that life is.
    he said.

    disagree.

    more like one big moment broken up.
    into sections,
    and still, you're none the wiser.

    ideas excel over beliefs
    so don't believe.
    once analyzed, a thought is wasted.
    being constant entices complaints, yet change is frowned upon.
    standing is left as the only option.

    so we fight
    against everything that sets up an argument.
    and words are thrown to numb the silence.
    the worst kind of noise.

    looking forward to nothing
    is better than looking backwards.
    i suppose.
    or we can just not look.

    crashing bitterly and unjustly,
    promoting the wrong and killing the right.
    impertinence keeps me smiling.
    cos it's important to have a sense of humour through it all.

    struggling with my hands
    and their unorthodox functions.
    this is what the bad people feel like.

    convulsing all the time
    because sleep comes too slow
    and then too long.

    all the time doing our best to live the anti-life.

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  • no worries saira...me too...at least yours isn't all crazy and f*cked up. -- ~~Lauren, 19:41:33 06/28/01 Thu


    & I watched you
    melting away from my mirror.

    & I never heard such
    empty.

    cut me from these played-back scenes.
    I've left tomorrow for now.
    & half this freak show
    left at noon -
    taking a few locks of hair
    from behind my ears.
    this train carrying them all
    ended up lazy.

    you smell like
    my car tires
    screeching away.

    you're that hopeful piece of lie.

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  • "Yearning"...i haven't been missing anyone for days or anything, i just always over emphasize a feeling and write about it...right -- sima, 22:53:46 06/28/01 Thu

    These games of telephone tag
    are endless
    I'm desperately trying to catch your lips
    between mine
    and my heart is skipping beats
    to match yours
    I was never taught how to hold my breath
    this long
    and I'm practicing this torturing task
    with each passing moment
    The waiting light in my room
    has kept the neighbors up
    all week
    and I'm holding meaningful conversations
    with myself again
    All I have to look forward to
    is the falling of the sun
    so I can find your face in the stars
    with what's left of my exhausted memory
    Knowing that sooner or later
    this lamp will burn out,
    along with the light i've built your eye with
    won't make me stop missing you

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  • To Crysta! -- Keith, 19:12:18 07/02/01 Mon
    There is still so much to say,
    yet there is nothing left to say.
    Routine drove you away from me,
    and into the arms of another.
    Drove you into a new experience,
    something different,
    someone older and wiser.

    Everyday i lose myself
    in thoughts of you,
    old memories,
    all the good times,
    and none of the bad.
    But i know now
    they are all for nothing.
    Wasted tears and emotions
    for what?
    For you?
    For me?
    For him?

    You've hurt me worse than
    anyone before.
    The pain i feel is never ending.
    You've crushed me like no other.
    For what?
    For you?
    For me?
    For him?

    They say time heals all wounds.
    No amount of time will ever heal
    the wound you have opened.
    I ask you again,
    do you know what you have lost?
    Do you know what you have given up on,
    and thrown away?

    I'd like to say i hate you
    and never want to see or talk
    to you again.
    But you know me better than that.
    I still love you and
    will always love you.

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  • Hey! -- Jessica123, 02:25:10 07/02/01 Mon



    Is there a reason you've all abandoned the board?

    Cuz I don't like it.

    Boo, hoo.

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  • one of my favorite things to do is discover a new artist i can love, that's written a song i can fall in love with. i've just done it all over again. -- JessicA, 14:58:52 06/29/01 Fri


    "pollyanna"

    there was always yr voice
    you were always the one
    finally when i made my choice
    you finally remembered to run
    pollyanna
    i was never caught up
    now i'm somehow ahead
    i'm standing here waiting
    alone whether i'm being followed
    or i'm being led
    pollyanna
    i don't want to talk
    i don't want to say it out loud
    words are weight sinking it further into the ground
    tell all the news
    to those that don't know
    show all my bruises
    and smile
    i'm my own tv show


    -oneline drawing

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  • nothing like macoroni and cheese ant like 3:10 in the morning...mmmmmm -- JenCook, 06:10:07 06/28/01 Thu
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  • hey hey hey -- ~~Lauren, 14:54:50 06/26/01 Tue


    Peoples: I got my prom pictures today...


    & I got the group picture of me, Will, Jon (and date), Jess, Jay, Michelle and Steve....

    We all look hot...good picture, guys.
    Come get them whenever you wanna seeee meeee.

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  • .to.the.boy. -- .from.what's.her.face., 20:25:29 06/25/01 Mon


    and there's no place
    like the hollow spaces
    on the insides of your knees
    for me to finally
    rest my ribcage.
    you offered a home
    with no lock on the door.
    and you swallowed the key, long ago
    for me to retrieve
    with each kiss.
    you get me reminiscing
    about how I used to
    hope things could be.
    it's something about
    your heart, beating
    at my temples
    that sends me upwards
    as I lay down over you.

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  • ...This Yea's Model... -- ~~Lauren, 20:17:33 06/25/01 Mon


    every time you need a pull.

    I can be there, for -
    ever.
    you smiled through me
    and I let it pass to the out -
    sides
    behind me.
    pleased to be of service,
    every time you need a hand.
    but how could you replace me
    when the time comes to hang -
    out
    of ourselves?

    every time you play my head.

    damn you for stealing my world.
    I can reread this play -
    back
    to myself
    and everyone who's heard it before.
    but the world you've taken
    remains oblivious
    to your true self.
    maintains blindness.

    every time you want to go back to old.

    you're new.
    but your time will pass, too.
    and I'll be long -
    on.
    long gone.

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  • darn those fleeting moments. -- Jessica!, 22:04:01 06/24/01 Sun


    there are moments to die for.

    those times
    when you can't help smiling,
    for the warmth in your heart
    is too much to contain.

    and all those glances you share,
    when you realize that
    there isn't a single place you'd rather be
    than right there, right then.

    the moments you kill to experience.

    they are, however, moments.
    and are gone in a breath,
    to make things return
    to the way they began,
    before skies built to blue
    and i built to you.

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  • it's so quiet in here. -- Jessica!, 15:05:49 06/23/01 Sat


    ... hello?


    is this thing on?

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  • yea, i dunno if ts is a good day or a bad one...k..yep..byes. -- JenCook, 01:46:15 06/22/01 Fri
    Too quiet
    to mean too much to me
    and yet silence
    is so loud
    that glass shatters.
    And you'll follow me
    to fobidden places
    for those that hurt
    and are untrusted
    as I peel off layers
    and leave myself vulnerable.
    And I'll unknowingly close you out
    and then wish I hadn't
    as my battleship sinks
    and our eyes lock.
    And words are spread thin
    as your glance
    catches my eye
    and that half smile
    is so uncertain
    that I turn my cheek
    to my shoulder
    and hope that when I look back
    your heart'll be resting
    on your sleeve.
    And I'll steal it back again.

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  • this is a result of no music and no jonas at work. bleh. -- saira, 21:38:38 06/22/01 Fri
    it's been several years with an epidemic
    and all the while i've been with the living dead.
    nothing passes faster when you sleep alone,
    don't you think?

    i can't deal with silence
    but for today, it will have to do.
    waiting a minute for your forever to end
    and then i can dance my dance.

    when i don't like it,
    then i don't look.
    that's how i walk around with my eyes half closed.
    release comes much to soon
    and thoughts are left half built.

    leaning against the door,
    burning fingers bleeding odors
    while my ears are set to run.

    limp arms straggle behind
    as i bend my toes in ecstasy.
    or that's how it should be, anyway.

    and you may recreate my face
    but not my image.
    don't forget that.

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  • "Exalted" for pat...this is the first nice poem i've ever written, i'm new at this, so yeah.. -- sima, 19:52:19 06/19/01 Tue


    Some nites these stars fall down
    and i'm left to lay you upon
    them- holding on to the kisses
    i've waited my whole life for.
    And I bury all the wishes I've made.
    The air is thick in heaven,
    just one gasp of you
    could last me a life time,
    like the gift that keeps on giving,
    and if that's all it takes,
    than this last breath will do me
    an eternity of pleasure.
    I'm spending forever upon the dreams
    you've made for me.

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  • w -- w, 03:50:07 06/21/01 Thu
    DEad Last is playing tomorrow at 2pm at 680 burke road. FRee SHOw!!!

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  • i miss smelling people -- saira, 01:44:16 06/21/01 Thu

    isolated to lines that lie right inside my limits.
    never before have i thirsted so much.

    decepted by those misconstrued words,
    and your not bothering to layer the compassion on thick.
    that's why my eyes dart to and fro.

    rejoicing's hard to do when aching
    shadows the threads of my skin.
    it's misunderstanding, for the best,
    yet i can't manage to walk quietly.

    easy for you to say,
    and do,
    with secularism controlling all.

    when the morning hours come,
    i'll still be here.
    but with a more shallow face and ready tongue.
    topped with a head of hair weighed down by sweaty thoughts.

    and my thumbs will balance nothing
    but an empty conscience
    for the sins that haven't been given a chance to exist.

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  • graduations speaches are boring, but very much true -- arizona, 01:20:12 06/21/01 Thu
    runaway, this land that was once yours is no longer yours
    only to be visted from time to time to see where you came from.
    and unbelieveabley this is a good thing.
    say goodbye tonight, this is a happy end, and a well needed end.
    Life continues along it's trail, with a new beginings built upon what used to be you. but it isn't you any longer.

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  • ok, i have to go be an adult now. or something. -- Jessica!, 19:15:55 06/20/01 Wed

    well, well, well.

    time to go graduate high school.

    when you're 5, this day seems like it doesn't belong in your life.

    now that i'm here, it still doesn't feel like it belongs.


    well, here goes nothing ...

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  • yeah, new saves the day! -- Jessica!, 16:50:05 06/20/01 Wed


    "well, here i am.
    don't know how to say this.
    only thing i know is awkward silence.
    your eyelids closed
    when you're around me,
    to shut me out."

    -saves the day

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  • never thought this day would come.. -- ~**~, 16:31:41 06/20/01 Wed
    So we talked all night about the rest of our lives
    Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
    I keep thinking times will never change
    But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
    No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
    And if you got something that you need to say
    You better say it now
    Cause you dont have another day
    Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
    These memories are playing like a film without sound
    I keep thinking of that night in June
    I didnt know much of love but it came too soon
    And there was me and you and we got real blue
    We'd stay at home talking on the telephone
    We'd get so excited and we'd get so scared
    Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
    I keep- keep thinking that it's not goodbye
    Keep on thinking it's out time to fly
    Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
    Can we survive it out there?
    Can we make it somehow?
    I guess I thought that this would never end
    And suddenly it's like we're women and men
    Will the past be a shadow that will follow us around?
    Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
    As we go on, we remember
    All the times we had together
    And as our lives change
    Come whatever, we will still be friends forever

    -- I know this is a corny song but it's gotta do with the whole graduation deal

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  • seemed appropriate. -- Jessica!, 15:17:41 06/20/01 Wed


    "so long, so long, front foot leads the back one -
    go on and it won't be too soon -
    i'm gone, i'm gone and on to the next one -
    so long, and i won't be back soon."


    .g.u.s.t.e.r.



    never thought this day would ever actually come ...

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  • ...this is a long one cuz we graduate high school tomorrow, and that's what this is about...i dont' really like it, but i've been dry lately.... -- ~~Lauren, 17:22:14 06/19/01 Tue

    ...Drawing...

    & it ends tonight.

    & I may never see your smile lines again.
    what makes it worse, is that
    I always envied this about you.
    you smiled more than I ever wanted to.

    it's all being signed away tonight.

    we're leaving each other behind tonight
    with cold metal against our backs
    & assumptions down our throats.
    i've never doubted tomorrow for you.

    you've got me one last time tonight.

    from now on we're drifting.
    & from here on in i've just got
    a fingertip grip.
    you'll see me waving you off, yet in, forever.

    i'll be covered in tears tonight.

    my own and the ones that roll of your back
    -like I did-
    when you hold me tonight.
    and our memories are somehow more distant in time frames.

    we've got it all planned tonight:

    we'll be sure to never forget.
    but the back of your mind is lonely, dear,
    & it's never where I thought I'd be.
    & you can't feel me from there.

    no one has felt this but us tonight.

    I can't take you home this time.
    the justice of it all seems tired.
    for I'm waking in the morning a new girl, tonight.


    & your hands wash over me time and time again
    & your words crash down on me when I need them most.
    you'll have me when you need me at night,
    but tonight is your last chance.

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  • jonas is SO hot! -- saira, 00:23:32 06/19/01 Tue
    this is when we fake good byes,
    and dialogue creeps around,
    just missing our lips.

    it's time to demonstrate how weighty our defiant chins are.

    we're bleeding out of each other
    and into each other.
    these lines are blurred,
    and my definitions tend to be mistaken.

    you've managed this day before,
    but were never set out to act.
    so here's your chance.

    i guess it's all just backwards evolution.

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  • is this thing on? -- Jessica!, 01:31:14 06/18/01 Mon


    "i looked her way with x-ray eyes,
    and she looked like she was not even there."

    -guster.

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  • ew -- ~~Lauren, 20:47:24 06/18/01 Mon



    So we all know I'm a HUGE fan of belly-buttons...but has anyone seen the new Levi's commercial where the navals are SINGING??

    I'm totally grossed.

    ...and a little disappointed...

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  • i've sworn off relationships forever. -- JenCook, 21:45:04 06/16/01 Sat
    yea, today was probly the worst day ever in my whole life. Kevin and I broke up. and the bad thing...HE broke up with ME...and online none the less. without even real closure or anything..it's was an"i'm sorry, it's gotta happen, you're more of a mom than a g/f, goodbye" type deal. more of a mom...because i care and don't want him to get hurt? ad i getmad b/c i get diched all the time...is that so wrong? then he tell me he smoked lastnigt because he was upset and it's over. after everything we've been through,8 months, and it ended so fast and I don't even think it's fully hit me yet. I don't understand what I ever could have possibly done to deserve this. I'm so hurt...this sucks. Boys suck and relationships are bad news. k..i'm done now..bye.
    i know jess posted parts of this song, but i feel the need also ~ "the world has turned and left me here, right where i was before you appeared, and in your place, an empty space has filled the void behind my face." weezer

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  • Tossed Around -- chaoschick, 16:25:02 06/18/01 Mon
    running scared
    running blind
    running, and not quite sure where to go.
    state of mind's
    in a state of confusion.
    wandering
    and wondering.
    Wondering why you're wandering.
    Somebody pick me up
    and set me in the right direction.
    eyes darting, glazed
    dazed and confused.
    There's nothing more to lose.
    "when everything is gone
    there's nothing left to fear"
    trees whispering
    grass laughing
    water grinning
    losing the sense
    of sensations
    and becoming dulled
    like an 10-year-old knife.
    and maybe
    just maybe
    one day
    i'll find my way

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  • i think this one is "your fear of water" cos i'm goin through a couple titles right now -- jess-lane, 22:44:00 06/17/01 Sun


    the very thing that swept me over to insane, i feel, is now the only thing to drift me toward stability
    my mind muddled and choppy - unsettled by you and everything else - can forget about the latter with the promise of the former- and the rolling motion of night waters help
    what am i to do before i forget the former, forget you and your face and how they make me feel, until all i can remember is the pull of the ocean while i sleep
    i will explode before i can spill all over, perhaps i will induce my own implosion tonight- i'll drudge up all there is to let out, gotta wake you up to whats going on in me
    i'll dump it all over you, wash it over you, shake you from your slumber and hope not to overwhelm you because i am foolish
    i'll let it crush you with its waves -i know it is what you fear the most- until all that i want to have from you is squeezed out fresh from you to feed my thirst for you
    what i really want is you to drink, enjoy the fresh nectar with me, while we go out night swimming, heads swimming in surreal oceans

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  • My Pore Friends -- Hobbes, 23:13:29 06/17/01 Sun

    So poor
    so pore
    So... POUR


    ... and so starts the sprinkling
    Here comes the pouring rain ...

    These pores on my skin
    breathing on my body
    without them...
    walks
    and talks
    just another nobody.

    Burnt from birth
    my friends into my mind
    telling me how to react
    as my life continues
    and friends get harder to find.

    But not my pore friends
    they ARE me now
    they make this shell i wear now
    God i miss my pore friends

    now.

    what would Joey do?
    what would Stephen say?
    How would Brandon react
    to these challenges
    i face today.

    thank you... my makers.
    I miss you. Your influence is still strongly felt.
    You've made me strong.
    fearing nothing.
    considering as much as possible.
    not betraying myself.
    FIGHTING.... damn im fighting.
    your influence will be forever felt.

    My pore friends
    nestled in my skin
    my poor friends
    never to see again

    And it is never to pour friends

    never

    never

    again.

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  • the answer is yes -- sean, 00:49:19 06/18/01 Mon
    Yes.....

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  • i haveta stop being so paranoid -- saira, 02:25:20 06/17/01 Sun


    we're here being constant
    floating around in our effort to be inconsistent.
    and all it's doing is making me see twists.

    perhaps a wink in the other direction
    will cause you to turn faster,
    or maybe not.

    it's aggravating to wait for the inevitable,
    especially when it decides to turn its back and run.

    so this is amusement for our generation.
    the type of fun that makes me eyes feel numb.
    and it hurts.

    boy does it.

    i like inexpensive things,
    and sometimes i feel you're beyond my worth.
    and all that stretching i do in the morning
    just makes me tired even faster.

    nothing seems worth the effort anymore.
    staying warm is the biggest trouble there is.

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  • Impermiable -- JenCook, 21:27:00 06/15/01 Fri
    I guess I should shed tears now
    247 days worth
    but I can't bring myself
    to weep this time around.
    I'd always frowned upon
    the thought
    and now that you're going
    I just show a little sideways grin.
    Half up, half down,
    as if the action of a smile
    needs to be re-learned.
    I don't why exactly
    I should be crushed by now
    but I'm the maker of my own path
    and up until 6 minutes ago
    I thought I was happy to walk it.
    Funny how I'd give anything
    to have my cheeks wrinkle
    under my tears just one more time.

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  • Party Up... -- Willie, 15:33:30 06/16/01 Sat
    Everyone whose anyone, party at Erik's come at 7. Bring food if you want to eat. Towels, bathing suits, and private parts.

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  • :( -- JenCook, 23:04:15 06/15/01 Fri
    saira...call me when you get home from work today (friday) I someone (you) to talk to BIG TIME!

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  • Jean Loise Fredrico -- Enrico Pilazzo, 01:44:38 06/16/01 Sat
    Put your firey man rod of excitement in my hot dripping poo hole. Thrust your meaty cock in and out of my dirty cherry! ooo Then shoot in my eye and punch me in the back of the head.

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  • Boiling Point -- JenCook, 18:04:53 06/14/01 Thu
    And I'll sit on the steps
    till the dirt seeps
    into my pores
    and 'til the sweat
    on my forehead
    reaches my elbow
    as you leave me
    and I watch you
    your smile fades out
    to uncertainty
    when you notice
    that all that's left
    is the vapor
    from my last breath.
    and you'll stumble
    and fall right on
    your sunburnt back
    and wonder why
    noones there now.
    ignorance shadowed you.
    Reality, me.
    the day i was
    second to sport.

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  • stuff... it's just hot today. -- saira, 21:55:59 06/14/01 Thu

    proceeding forward as i walk my steps
    patterned from the day before yesterday.

    understanding short words with an even shorter glance.
    it's never been so difficult to refuse.
    but pinning messages doesn't decode my feelings
    or who i am.
    ...just a temporary form of communication

    wiping my forehead every time i pass you,
    smudging the empty eye area that has permanent circles.
    this is routine now.

    each night i lie upon myself,
    hopefully i'll be numb by tomorrow's yesterday.
    and this is when i act okay,
    my stained hands fiddling,
    and my aching smile wandering.

    once a hopeless romantic,
    now hopelessly skeptic.
    i live to not be trite

    for you.

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  • "Indifferent #4"..eh and the fact that i have to attach disclaimers to my poetry now upsets me. but here it is. disclaimer. this has nothing to do with anything. -- sima, 16:57:39 06/14/01 Thu


    Blank faces only resemble
    those of which I wish you made
    and the missing words of this incessant love
    have grown callouses on my hands-
    all four you wish I had
    so I could tie us together
    even if we have mental miles between us.
    This test has gotten old
    and you have yet to show my score
    though it's been long since we were undone.

    You have that uncertain wandering
    in your eye
    and there's always something more of me
    to prove in you.

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  • a million times severed -- youre still a moron, 06:32:04 06/15/01 Fri

    MAMITA9CHULA: thank you "friend"
    MAMITA9CHULA: and fuck you
    MAMITA9CHULA signed off at 1:52:33 AM.

    ...

    If you weren't so frail
    I wouldn't think you were worth holding on to
    you're so fun to belong to
    &
    We'll probably never see eye to eye
    we'll never own the time that doesn't fly
    we'll never be able to understand or accept
    the why

    but some how we will

    grow back

    we will

    grow back

    we always do




    I hate loving these fights i have with you.


    ... Im sorry.

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  • what a girl thats work right now -- beach goer, 23:40:19 06/14/01 Thu
    i never had so much trouble finding a beach i already knew how to get too. But iam happy i found it because i got to see you.


    "god dam emo music"

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  • totally unthought out and written too quickly...whatever...& i hate the ending... -- ~~Lauren, 13:48:44 06/13/01 Wed


    "The world can skip me over again,"
    she said to no one in particular -
    and the last of all her hope drained out
    with the beginning hours of summer.

    December's coming back today.

    And her pant hems scratch the pavement
    as she spits out her memories -
    today got jealous of them
    and wants control back, so she gave it.

    Her name begins with a letter that's foreign
    and her tongue speaks inaudibly.
    "The world seems to miss me,"
    she cries out, letting it sink out.

    Winter is going to block her in.

    "The world shares me till I'm worn,"
    she screams at the building tops and
    hovers over the cracks in the walk.
    She feels as though her binding broke.

    The season's taking it's toll.

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  • it's graphics, and i'm bored, and i know i can't write, but i'm going to try to, anyway. -- Jessica!, 14:13:10 06/13/01 Wed

    "drifting"


    crippled by your eyes,
    i'm guaranteed to fall -
    should i try to get up.

    and the line is drifting to the right,
    and i'm heading left.
    you wouldn't care where i was going -
    should i try to leave.

    but i'm not going anywhere,
    and you're not looking at me.

    and when you start to miss me,
    you can let me know.
    cuz i'm tired of waiting around here
    for you to start.

    i'm floating to the bottom.

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  • not paying attention to the empty chairs in the room -- Hobbes, 05:19:30 06/13/01 Wed

    Dead for so long now --------------S----------------
    -------A------------ and youre still on to something
    still having coffee in my head ----------V----------
    --------E--------- repeating what you said
    --------M--------- still very much alive
    still waking me from my bed ------E------


    The first always becomes the refrence
    you relate to learn
    from that point on

    You were the first i met with your name
    the next person wearing it just reminded me
    just how long
    you had been gone

    The infinite past
    The infinite future
    and you...
    so infinitely small
    so enormously large
    to me

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  • i thought i was taking a new approach, but then i split my long lines into seperate stanzas- oh well... i think its different for my style - "slant rhyme" -- jess-lane, 02:27:44 06/12/01 Tue
    I'm sitting barefoot
    and bare souled
    stringing myself out for you
    letting my scent linger over your head
    trying to somehow infuse my image in your mind
    without stimulating your eyes.

    All the hours I took
    setting up poles
    jumping over just a few
    to make the right impression til its red-
    i should try to treat my apprehensions without rhyme
    without stimulating use of lies.

    Silly me, the fool
    overshot my goal
    i've been strung out to lose
    can't make my face fit your mold til i'm dead
    rubbing my features away till i'm gone- i won't find
    strength for another try.

    and all i'm looking for right now are the opportunities to have problems with you later

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  • Stupid Ass me -- Hobbes, 03:01:04 06/12/01 Tue

    I Could never cripple her desire

    bad breath only breathes a bigger fire

    and so she burns

    until the wick is gone

    and there is no more wax to eat



    Kiss me numb

    I will fall for you

    and break from you

    not on your behalf

    but from the half

    that I couldn't fill for you


    Keep the faith in self

    no one else

    could ever do the things

    ive seen you do


    Ill do my best to push you forward

    not to push you down

    Ill do my best

    not be the weighted jealousy

    that pulls you down


    I've grown up, just a little

    and finally managed to say

    I wish you everything that you deserve

    you deserve it all

    all the happiness

    that comes your way

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  • Assumption sounds edible -- Hobbes, 05:17:24 06/11/01 Mon

    If i knew every word
    in every language
    i still couldnt tell you how i feel
    no more
    atleast
    than one look at my face
    would
    reveal

    I just need some one to draw a picture for
    When the paths cross
    and when the now becomes important
    So take it when im done, grab it from my hand
    and remember it was drawn by the tool of my eye
    take from it
    as we go our seperate way

    Big City Lights
    Small Country Towns
    the same voice
    the same song
    The same elaborate game we play

    Who really understands anything anyway

    The Yelling gets so loud in this silence
    stop shouting at me
    with those i'll pretend you arent there looks
    i can hear you
    i can hear you
    hear me

    This Ventriloquism gets annoying
    I hear my own words from so many mouths
    other than my own
    I guess im not so alone
    not so alone

    Make it all make sense
    it will always be in the making
    strip it use it
    the benifit
    for your taking

    dot dot dot

    How far am i, really,
    from that person i used to be
    I'm so far
    not so
    far
    From the me
    before the me

    Me
    before
    the me

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  • "Rapacious" - it means excessively greedy...cos someone got me in a bad mood. argh. -- Sima, 00:57:16 06/10/01 Sun


    I suppose clocks break for you
    and the sun keeps up with you
    to erase any traces
    of a 6 o'clock shadow.
    Your memory's lapse
    has a way of taking up
    distance and forming
    shattered dreams.
    Taking a backseat
    to your hours of destruction
    is instinct now.
    When these replies and excuses
    have become a way of life,
    and when I can predict your next move,
    adapting to isolation's dust
    isn't the challenge-
    it's gaining the strength
    to clean myself off.
    Your impression
    has been pressed
    between these sheets-
    at one time
    your image was perfect
    but it's wearing down
    and in another nite,
    your smile will be misplaced.

    Just more debris
    to add to the top of the
    mess you've made with me.

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  • THE PROM BLEW -- seany baby honey darlin, how ya doin, i love ya, 22:28:39 06/10/01 Sun
    YES that is correct THE PROM blew, ok ok, no from the back of ther theater, THE PROM BLEW, ok how bout in front here, you right there with the David the Gnome shirt, UH.. THE PROM SUKCKED!!

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  • love -- arizona, 02:09:15 06/11/01 Mon
    and as I again lay down tonight
    i fall in love with you deeper
    beyond all disbelief
    i fall asleep more in love

    with one action
    and two words
    my heart jumps
    and nerves clench tight
    as we become one again

    distance is between us only in miles
    but our hears have no distance
    with our heads in the clouds
    and our feet on the ground.

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  • argh fest tonight! wanna join me? -- saira, 03:41:01 06/09/01 Sat
    the third month full of bitter sleeps
    and the biting of my knuckles.

    sweeping eyes cast two faces,
    sending back negative comments.
    to make it okay.

    but shattered nerves are all i get.
    and a never-ending, never-understanding distortion
    of thoughts
    and anti-thoughts.

    been drowning myself in sorrows,
    now i'm going for regret.
    and spontaneity doesn't exist ever anymore.
    that's why i cry.

    the last thing i remember is the second shot to my head,
    as the bullet split in two.
    that's what too much thinking does.

    pretending isn't gonna cut it no more.

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  • "on your own" -- Jessica!, 02:27:28 06/11/01 Mon


    & i'd like to see you go
    out on your own,
    when your 15 minutes are up,
    and your precious smile is rotted.

    then we'll see.

    it must be hard on you,
    to think so hard and speak so soft.

    but i can hear,
    loud and clear,
    that it's exactly me
    that you need there
    to get yourself
    anywhere.


    "some things are better left unsaid."
    -the.juliana.theory

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  • loud. -- Jessica!, 02:26:10 06/11/01 Mon


    "you were always good at putting words together,
    about how you always liked it better
    when i never came around.
    you were always good at putting words together,
    and wearing them so loud."

    -matt.Nathanson

    [ Edit | View ]

  • Hobbes, I'm in Denton -- Crysta, 13:39:05 06/09/01 Sat
    I tried calling but I think I have the wrong number. Sorry about wasting board space you guys! :)

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  • Made to be GIANTS -- Hobbes, 04:29:01 06/06/01 Wed

    Pandora is bated with seduction
    She makes me wonder how the pretty face of a stranger
    might taste
    She makes me guess how fast
    mystery's lure
    captures the predator
    before going to waste

    I should probably tell her to get away from me
    I should probably not humor her pretentious bait
    I should probably tell her to get away from me
    I will suck the life from you
    I WILL suck the life from you ...is what
    I should probably say

    I don't mind hollowing the veins of an aggressive stranger
    though
    I'm only half way concerned
    with planted ideas
    and not
    how they grow

    Playing to my strengths never made me stronger
    or is that just what i should say
    My strengths dwarf my fears
    but im happy that it helps
    them go
    away

    Pandora, I would have liked to taste you
    and like SATAN's daughter...
    I would have liked to waste you
    but i told you to get away from me
    I would have SUCKED the life from you

    Pandora
    A pawn of beauty
    and nothing else...

    Nothing else.

    I am past the feel, and so much closer to the want...
    and only wish
    that this could make me
    believe
    that im alive again.

    I can never be alive again.

    Pandora is not the blood i need
    to flow
    through me
    to give me
    life

    Pandora, sent by the Greek Gods ...
    you became nothing to all
    in no time at all
    but im sure that some one
    would sure want
    and will
    jump to fall

    Just to Taste you... and waste you

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  • duuuuude, i know jon's gonna say "i told you so" (he's allowed to tho, cos i say it all the time) but i definitely should have said yes to him bout the prom. just cos it seems cool now. there's always next year... -- saira, 01:55:29 06/09/01 Sat
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  • I dunno.. -- JenCook, 02:24:46 06/07/01 Thu
    I've recently decided
    when with anger I colided
    that every story told
    is truely double sided.
    The way that I see you
    in the things that you do
    is the way i perceive
    what is not necessarily true.
    You see yourself in such a way
    the same as always everyday
    and others think what they want
    and lose their thoughts of what to say.
    So if what you see is what you get
    then is your reflection a sort of threat?
    Deceive me not, love me true,
    we're better this way, still better yet.

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  • To all you seniors and non-senior dorkus weeds goin to prom... -- jess-lane, 17:40:40 06/08/01 Fri
    have a good time! i hope the dance music is hott ;] and you get to sing "la la la la la..." alll niiiight long. heh. so enjoy yourselves, and bust a move. or something... yea wanted to say somethin :]

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  • "That is not what I meant at all; that is not it, at all." -- Jessica!, 12:11:32 06/08/01 Fri

    "And would it have been worth it, after all,
    After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
    Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
    Would it have been worth while,
    To have squeezed the universe into a ball
    To roll it towards some overwhelming question,
    To say: "I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
    Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all" --
    If one, settling a pillow by her head
    Should say: "That is not what I meant at all;
    That is not it, at all."


    -t.s. eliot
    from "the love song of j. alfred prufrock"

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  • pa pa pa pa punk sean -- =w=, 02:08:43 06/07/01 Thu
    ONLY IN DREAAAMMMMMMSSS
    ONLY in dreammmss
    only in dreams

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  • oldskool. -- Jessica!, 01:12:02 06/07/01 Thu


    "the world has turned and left me here.

    you & me
    turned away,
    turning further every day.

    do you believe what i say now?"


    =w=

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  • I've been doing a paper on Beat poets, its all interesting, i want to share... -- jess-lane, 16:52:15 06/06/01 Wed
    here's a poem by Allen Ginsberg, i like this stuff... i wish i weren't in debt to the library or i'd take out some books...


    "A Supermarket in California"

    What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt
    Whitman, for I have walked down the sidestreets
    under the trees with a headache self-
    conscious looking at the full moon.
    In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images,
    I went into the neon fruit supermarket,
    dreaming of your enumerations!
    What peaches and penumbras! Whole
    families shopping at night! Aisles full of
    husbands! Wives in the avocados, babies in
    the tomatoes!- and you, Garcia Lorca, what
    were you doing down by the watermelons?

    I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old
    grubber, poking among the meats in the
    refrigerator and eyeing the grocery boys.
    I heard you asking question of each: Who killed
    the pork chops? What price bananas? Are
    you my Angel?
    I wandered in an out of the brilliant stacks of
    cans following you, and followed in my
    imagination by the store detective.
    We strode down the open corridors together in
    our solitary fancy tasting artichokes,
    possessing every frozen delicacy, and never
    passing the cashier.

    Where are we going Walt Whitman? The doors
    close in an hour. Which way does you beard
    point tonight?
    (I touch your book and dream of our odyssey in
    the supermarket and feel absurd.)
    Will we walk all night through solitary streets?
    The trees add shade to shade, lights out in
    the houses, we'll both be lonely.
    Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of
    love past blue automobiles in driveways,
    home to out silent cottage?
    Ah, dear father, greybeard, lonely old courage-
    teacher, what America did you have when
    Charon quit poling his ferry and you got out
    on a smoking bank and stood watching the
    boat disappear on the black waters of Lethe?

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  • Å51 -- Jessica!, 12:32:10 06/06/01 Wed


    "so things have changed around here now
    no one left to run this town, so

    take your hell, & raise it someplace else."



    -me (from anonymous #51)

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  • tootles... -- Jessica!, 12:25:16 06/06/01 Wed



    "& your world falls down
    & you're there, calling out
    but it's something i can't say
    though it seems the only way
    but it's a game that i can't play -
    not today."

    -natalie imbruglia

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  • J.S. i am truly sorry -- erik, 17:20:53 06/05/01 Tue
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    sorry for you and your world
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    that your with such a fucked up girl
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    sorry for this poem
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    but you know why i write 'em
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    that you love this one
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    but you must have good reason
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    that she has gone mad
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    that she thinks its ok, cause she got hit by her dad
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    that you have to take her side
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    but i understand inside
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    for one thing really
    J.S. i am truly sorry
    that your girlfriend is a complete psycho, who everone knows is a real piece of shit sometimes and she feels the need to treat her friends like utter dirt, because she isn't the most adored person ever, and i weep for you because you are going to college with her and we all know(and have all talked about behind her back) that she is gonna treat you like shit and we don't want you to end up stuck at a college you don't want to be at, so i am truly sorry that we can't just accept her bullshit, and move on, cause she is a bitch and we've all seen it for some time now.


    p.s. tell your girlfriend she can deny what she said as much as she wants, but i heard her two seperate times, doing what she does best, and bitching to people about her "soul mate", that she has cast away, because your girlfriend is so much more spectacular and deserving of everyones appreciation and adoration. eat shit jess.

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  • i guess the best part about being shit on is that you can go home and write a great song about it. -- Jessica!, 03:18:52 06/06/01 Wed

    (ok, so i know i wrote a poem today with this title... but i'm hereby stealing my own title and using it for this song instead, cuz i like it. so there.)


    "falling with skill"


    you always said,
    "don't look down while you're falling."
    now you are the one pushing me down.
    & you always said,
    "don't believe a word they say to you."
    now you're the one that's saying everything.

    so how does it feel to play the villian?
    how does it feel to be everything you hate in me?
    does it feel like anything you thought it would -
    to be crying, just like me?

    & you always try to be on the best side of me -
    but you know, i see right through it all.
    & you wanna be the best at everything you do,
    but now you are becoming what you hate.

    so how does it feel to feel this thing we call regret?
    how does it feel to say what you knew you shouldn't say?
    does it feel like everything is falling?
    cuz you're falling, just like me.

    & i'm falling with skill,
    cuz i've done this all before,
    & i'm falling with pride,
    cuz i know i'm right.
    but you, you're falling for the first time.
    & i've done this all before,
    but you're falling,
    & you know, you're gonna bruise.

    now you're falling, falling, falling like the rest.
    yeah, you're falling, falling with the best of them.
    & you're falling, falling, falling -
    & you know you're gonna fall again.

    yeah, you're getting up to fall again.



    [songs with only 3 chords are the best.]

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  • just thought u guys might be interested -- ~*L*~, 01:56:15 06/06/01 Wed
    FlowGo is having a HUGE poetry contest and you're invited!

    Offering prize money totaling $58,000.00!

    Your poem could be picked to be as one of the $1,000.00 winners! All you need to do is submit a poem of 20 lines or less! That's it!

    AMATEUR WRITERS ONLY! NO PROFESSIONALS!

    to enter go to:

    www.flowgo.com/greetings/poetry_contest/contest.cfm?creative_id=19

    All poets will receive a response concerning their artistic ability!

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  • place: school gym. time: noon:30. event: a friendship ultimately falls apart. -- Jessica!, 17:18:15 06/05/01 Tue

    "falling with skill"


    and it doesn't make a difference
    if you've designed this conversation
    a million times over in your head.

    maybe it's for the best,
    the way things never turn out
    the way i've planned on.


    you turned away,
    and now i'm just
    falling with skill.

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  • new cd -- jon, 02:05:14 06/05/01 Tue
    just so u know i got it now
    the cd that spins around
    haha girl i got what u want
    ive defeated your purpose
    the b s one
    just so u know its to make
    u jealous
    so i can laugh
    even though your great
    somone who sleeps a room away
    told me to on this day

    this was just for fun not really sure if its a poem but yea bouncing souls rule!!!!

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  • ...The Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Ryan Costello, My Brother... -- ~~LaurenBrusha, 23:56:09 06/04/01 Mon


    1. On the extremely rare occassion that he has money (and if he's getting food out of the deal) he can be pretty generous. He bought me ice cream once.

    2. His lack of socks.

    3. His random outbursts. (ex-pressing his face to the computer screen and yelling "I'm getting CANCER!!!" or "Oh SHIT!! My daughter" as the egg baby goes flying down the hallway.)

    4. Who can forget the Ryanisms: the man with no pants, getting a speeding ticket for going 57 in a 34 (or something), and, my favorite - "There's no 'I' in 'Can't' Lauren."

    5. How he can be totally cruel and then switch to nice mid sentence: "Shut up but I still love you." "Fuck you, and you're my favorite sister."

    6. He gives really good advice, tells it like it is but softly, and never tells a secret when you tell him one.

    7. He's nosey, but in an endearing way.

    8. His love for the ladies...whichever one(s) it may be at the time. (hehehehe)

    9. When he sings.

    10. He has an extremely comforting laugh and that's why I love him.



    .........there, Ryan...ya happy?

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  • She Wears a Purple Shirt and It Fits So Well -- ?, 03:47:18 05/06/01 Sun
    Is it the way she laughs at all your jokes?
    You laugh at my stupidity
    Is it the way she twirls that long, brown hair of hers?
    The kind I always wish I had
    Does she listen to you more than just your words?
    I hear she's good at that
    Could it be her smile or gleam in her blue eyes that makes your heart pound?
    My eyes are shallow brown
    Is it the way she paints a picture and it's so very clear?
    I stumble over words
    Is it the tone in her voice that softly hits your ears as she tells you absolutely everything that's on her mind?
    I tend to yell
    Is it the way she seems to know everything and everyone?
    I try too hard sometimes
    Is it the way she dances? So comical and cute?
    I have two left feet
    Is it the way she'll sing any song at the top of her lungs and make you laugh?
    I've always been tone deaf
    Is it the way she's the misfit of the circle, but yet she fits in fine? The missing piece?
    I'm the spectator on the sidelines
    Is it that she means everything, but you barely remember my name?
    I should be the one to make you all laugh, but how could I compare?
    I don't think I ever could with her perfect purple shirt and my red shredded sweater,
    So I'll just mutter a chuckle at the next joke that isn't funny.

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  • . -- Jessica!, 00:47:34 06/05/01 Tue


    "so girl, why'd you run away?
    you look so afraid -
    i hope that it's not of me."


    -reggie & the full effect

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  • ...The Wicked Red Fury... -- ~~Lauren, 14:58:40 06/04/01 Mon


    i try and try
    and try some more
    and never do i succeed.
    it seems to some
    it's all a joke
    but don't laugh at me, i plead.
    it makes me sad.
    i feel so blue.
    yet i remain so very helpless.
    the red fury spreads
    and they raise some more.
    they seem so very reckless.
    and that's my tale
    to which i'll stick-
    and tell for the rest of our lives.
    you see my friends,
    it seems that i
    am giving Will some hives.

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  • everlasting problem -- Fiero, 02:16:41 06/04/01 Mon
    why do i bother
    why do i try
    when it always turns out
    im not "that guy"
    always friends
    nothing more
    is what i hear
    from the core
    i talk i talk
    and then i fail
    it seems so good
    and then they bail
    so now that its
    no more fun
    i think ill go
    and kill everyone
    except for those
    who i will save
    when it come to
    my judgement day


    woooohoooo jon fiero wrote a poem thats a first now i think ill go listen to some emo

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  • ...barely... -- ~~Lauren, 14:04:42 06/04/01 Mon


    i have to stop bleeding
    every time
    i get nothing in return.
    seems like only a moment ago
    you busted me open
    and tore out what you needed
    in order for your craving to survive.
    and you burnt in my sunlight
    and shivered in my moon.
    it's time to stop faking
    this mass fascination.

    i'm on to me.

    i know all about my shine
    and my appeal.
    you'd be happy peeling back
    the layers
    until there wasn't any of myself
    any longer.
    come clean, boy.
    clean away your eye sockets of me.
    'fess up, and tell yourself
    what i already know.
    it's all just your imagination
    that you don't see me bleeding
    every time i get
    nothing in return.

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  • wake up ... a strange last few nights -- Hobbes, 08:40:31 06/03/01 Sun

    In a cold sweat i some how found a way to finally break free -- shooting up into a sitting position on the cold wooden floor where i was sleeping. I stopped panicking.
    I was out.
    I had made it out.

    There it was, just as i had expected. It was on my leg this time. Black, and smaller than the other two -- slowly treading it's way up my abdomen.

    I put this one along with the others, in a jar close to where i slept. I wasn't sure why i did this, i didn't even think about it.

    It was the third consecutive night that i had awoken
    to find a spider on or around my body. Each one was a different size and color.

    The spiders came, following the dreams.

    I hadn't had a lucid dream since i was little, the last one occuring at 10 years old i think.

    They were back,though, and i was just as afraid as used to be eight years later.

    I was seeing myself a sleep... exactly where i was laying.
    Realizing that i was a sleep. Not being able to move.
    Trying so hard to move.
    I remembered all too well what would follow.
    Screaming at myself to wake up.
    Wake up.
    Hearing noises, strange noises, screaming noises...
    the black stains floating in the distance...
    I remembered all too well.
    Wake up.

    Wake up.

    The spiders tapped their boney legs on the jar.
    faster
    and faster.

    Wake up.

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  • Great, im fucking delerious now -- Hobbes, 02:36:31 06/04/01 Mon

    "Musical experience is perhaps the richest aspect of auditory experience, although the experience of speech must be close. Music is capable of washing over and completely absorbing us, surrounding us in a way that a visual field can surround us but in which auditory experiences usually do not. One can analyze aspects of musical experience by breaking the sounds we perceive into notes and tones with complex interrelationships, but the experience of music somehow goes beyond this. A unified qualitative experience arises from a chord, but not from randomly selected notes. An old piano and a far-off oboe can combine to produce an unexpectedly haunting experience. As always, when we reflect, we ask the question: why should that feel like this?"

    --- Excerpt from "The Concious Mind" (in search of a fundamental theory)

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